To Blurb or not to Blurb, that is the Question

I've been toying with the idea of printing out a book from this blog that would capture my first year in Idaho. I've been looking at some layouts over at Blurb and tinkering with what I would include and what I would leave out.

I'm ambivalent. Part of me says the last thing I need is another THING. When we left Oregon we deliberately opted to downsize, getting rid of 30 years of accumulated STUFF to take up a more simplified life. However, this feels different. I think I would like having an actual book with words and pictures that I could look at and share.

I expect if I do go ahead with it I'll clean up and edit some of the posts a bit. I tend to write a lot of free flowing babble on these pages, and don't always even take the time to spellcheck. (HORRORS - don't tell my students!)

Since I long ago lapsed out of the habit at keeping a personal journal and I never have gotten around to any sort of formal personal history, this is probably as close as I will ever come to recording my days.

Who knows? Maybe one day my grandkids will get a kick out of it.

Sharing gardens

This evening Victoria from "Our Life in Idaho" came by to visit my garden and get some starts of a few things I had to share. I'm pretty sure the hellebore and the delphinium she took should thrive well under her care. I hold out less hope for the Nandina/Heavenly Bamboo I gave her. It was looking VERY puny in my yard as it was planted in a spot where it was almost completely shaded and didn't have much water. If she can save it, GREAT. IF not, oh well, we tried.

The nice thing about making new friends through the blogosphere is we had a chance to "get to know" each other before we ever met through reading one another's postings. Because of that I had no sense at all of meeting a "new" person or a the awkwardness of entertaining a stranger. I was meeting Victoria, who shares her life with Kim and some chickens known affectionately as "the girls". I knew some of her challenges and interests. I knew who her favorite authors are. From our email contact I knew what sort of work she does. So inviting her over to dig up some plants that needed a new home and take a walk through my garden paths just seemed perfectly natural.

I will look forward to pictures of those plants if they take hold, and no hard feelings if they don't. Either way, I look forward to sharing more garden visits in the future. By the way - give my best regards to Jelly Bean, and good luck with the squirrels.

Pirated Blogrolls

Lynn over at Violins & Starships has put in a whole lot of efforts into creating a very impressive collection of blogs and websites that seems worthy of exploring.
I've explored a few and want to go back to look at others, so rather than just bookmarking her page I figured I'd share it HERE.


That of course got me to thinking - who else has well thought out, neatly indexed blogrolls I might pirate?

There are
Education Blogs
Garden Blogs
Idaho Blogs
LDS Blogs

Do you have any favorite blogrolls to recommend?

Cruising the Blogosphere...

Saturday morning is Pancake morning at Casa Piranha.

I've enjoyed a lazy morning, sipping a cup of Good Earth herbal tea and exploring the blogosphere for a bit. Here are a few of the gems that impressed me...

1. Dan over at Black Owl has an EXCELLENT piece on the dearth of critical thinking in the retail world during holiday shopping...(which is endemic throughout the year, and not just in retail, I am afraid.)

2. Ruth over at Upstream Downstream shares some words on assumptions about guilt and innocence and our jury system...

3. Violins and Starships offered up a great clip of Elvis singing "Blue Solstice" to entertain my Pagan friends.

4. And just for grins, David over at Nephite Blood, Spartan Heart, shared some positively hillarious pictures that made me laugh.

5. Sergio over at Space Time Chronicles wrote a lovely piece on censorship from the perspective of a scientist. That one is an older piece from 2009, but isn't that the beauty of the blog world? It's still there to discover.

I LIKE being able to find cutting edge words about what people are pondering RIGHT NOW - the immediacy of this form of media has much appeal. But at the very same time I occassionally enjoy sampling the thoughts of various writers whose blogs have since languished or who may not have updated for quite some time.

Do you have any favorite dead blogs - words that resonated with you and maybe made you sad that the writers have ceased to publish?

Warm wishes to my visitors of 2010

As I am basking in the sparkle of this lovely Christmas Eve, I want to wish many blessings to my friends - both those I know in the real word and those who I know only in the vitural sense...

So I started looking back through my 2010 posts.
These are the folks who have dropped by:

Jen from Lords of the Manor
Natalie from What's Cool in Alaska
Deb H from Cold Feet Quilter
Mimi from Bigger Than a BreadBox
Rozel whose personal blog has disappeared! but still has posts up at Page Nibblers
Kersten at Altered Gypsy
Elizabeth from Posts from Portland
Tristi from Tristi Pinkston, LDS Author
Pat from Pat's Place (the blog that never really materialize but was a fun start!)
JJ at The Disconnected Writer
Cheri Crane from Cran-ium
Kelly aka Jaquandor at Byzantium's Shores
Katherine Darrow from Kat Tracks
Marley Delarose from Love Knows No Boundaries and Blame it on the Muse
Dan from Dan Harrington

Thanks to all of you who took the time to look at what I had to say and leave a comment.
I've had lots of stops and starts with this blog this year - a move, a change in jobs, and much transition of mind and heart.

Having dear friends, both those I hug in the real world and those I hug only with my words are what made the year shine.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Respond Differently

Jen over at Lords of the Manor has come up with an excellent suggestion. Out of the painful event of an injured knee she has come up with a challenge for bloggers to take up. She wrote: "Choose an area of your life in which you can respond differently. Maybe a relationship, parenting, interacting with friends, or maybe like me you need an attitude adjustment. Set a daily goal for yourself and keep track of how you respond differently in this situation, with this person, or with yourself and work on your goal for 4 weeks. Then on August 1 post a description of your goal, how you implemented it, and your results on your blog."

Well, obviously it's too late for me to give it four weeks, so I would not qualify for the prize. But that does not mean it's too late for me to explore areas of my own life where I could benefit from making some changes.

Also, it will be interesting to go back and read what others come up with.
Thanks for the challenge, Jen. Get better soon!

Gems in the Blogosphere

I checked in with my friends over at Facebook this morning and found THIS LINK placed there by Life Coach Laura Young.

I spent a little time exploring it and was VERY IMPRESSED. This lady has a great combination going on: 1) she writes very well 2)she has something substantive to say. I sometimes (though not always) have #1. I OCCASIONALLY have #2. My problem in I seldom have both #1 and #2 going on at the same time.

This is the first blog I've read in a long time that actually made me envious. It wasn't so much the green eyed monster mean spirited envy I used to feel in sixth grade. Instead, it was the longing I sometimes get in an art museum looking at a fine painting...appreciating a masterpiece so poignantly that it aches, and wishing with fury that I had the ability to produce that kind of beauty.

Mostly I babble on this blog without a lot of forethought. I dump out words about whatever I am thinking/feeling/doing at the time because I enjoy the conversation. I do it for fun, and don't worry about measuring the merit. Reading Penelope's Trunk threatened to stir my hibernating bear of ambition to one day actually take my writing seriously. Scary.

Years ago I had a couple things published in magazines that I was actually paid for. There was a time when I seriously toyed with the thought that I'd like to pursue writing professionally. But for one reason or another I took other paths, and for the most part have made my peace with that. Still, every now and then I get all dreamy about it again and wonder...what IF...

Anyway, all that aside, seeing what a fine blog this particular one is (at least in my humble estimation) made me curious. What blogs have you found out there that MOST impressed you?

2008 in Review

My blogger pal Mimi over at Bigger Than a Breadbox did something rather cool over on her blog. She did a review of the past year by sharing the first line to the first post for each month. I kind of liked the idea, but chose to adapt it somewhat. I reviewed all my past posts for 2008 and linked to one for each month that was meaningful for me - not caring if they were first, middle or last in the month. It was interesting for me to look back over time to see what I had been thinking /writing about.

Here is what I came up with:

January

Always ready to stir my life with a stick and shake things up a bit, I was dreaming of moving to Michigan, longing to be close to my sons and grandkids there. In Pins and Needles I spoke of my excitement when a phone interview for a job that had the potential to make that a reality went very well.

February

However, the move to Michigan was not to be. Juggling the challenges of a dual career family can get complicated. In the post Unity I link over to my other blog to describe the heartache and resolve I felt about my husband's reticence to move and give up his good job for the sake of my dreams.


March

Blessings A to Z was a gathering spot for all my posts where I listed things I was grateful for by each letter of the alphabet. That was a fun exercise and helped me keep perspective during seasons of disappointment.

April

Full Plate and Then Some! described the overwhelm I was feeling as I juggled two jobs and searched for another. It was definitely a very hectic time.

May

In House Pictures I shared views of my 100 yr old Victorian home in Athena we had just decided to put up for sale. (update - we have an appointment to close on the deal next week.) I sure did love that house, but selling it and downsizing was the right thing to do.

June

Why I Am Moving explored my feelings about our shift from our lovely home in town out to the farmhouse where I now live.

July

Trusting the Universe described how I accepted a new job on the flip of a coin which was followed up with Goodbyes Are Hard about the difficulty to leave behind coworkers I really cared about.

August

In Diverging Roads, Path and Trails I talked about how we can never really know the ultimate outcome of our choices, how at some point we must surrender to trust that the universe will guide us in the directions we need to go.

September

Where I Live talked about getting settled in to our new residence, living out in the middle of 160 acres of farm land.

October

Following up on the same theme I had begun in August, Celebrating Cluelessness talked about never really being sure which choices are "right" or "best". That uncertainty and ambivalence really does seem to be a recurring topic for me.

November

There were several posts in November that were meaningful for me...

Two in particular are Happy Anniversary which paid homage to my marriage of 27 years.

Pondering Pain expressed my feelings about hurting on several different levels.

December

I wound up the year giving thought to issues of Self Esteem, exploring Absolute Poverty vs Relative Deprivation and coping with work stress in Can You Keep a Secret?


Looking back at my posts for the year I see some silly nonsense and some serious pondering. I see reports of my comings and goings and pictures along the way. There are links to cool resources and ideas I didn't want lost in the shuffle of my sometimes over busy life.

There were lots of changes in 2008, lots of questioning and very little answers. But overall it was a good year, in most respects. There were bumps in the road. There were storms. But now that it's done, I can be grateful for high times and low.

Not sure what 2009 will bring. I hope I'm up for the challenge!

Happy New Year to all of you who join with me in the Blogosphere. May we all live it with passion, integrity, humor and love.

Disfigured

I've been screening some different movies for possible inclusion on a list of films for one of the project options my Sociology students have to choose from. (Currently there are five options. The topics are quite varied, but the methodology for all of them is the same - to do structured interviews and then write a paper about it. I decided to throw in one alternative that centered on media analysis rather than interview.)

The movie I saw tonight was Disfigured - a movie about women and weight. I figured it might be appropriate during the unit we do on the Looking Glass Self - Charles H. Cooley's term for how our social environment influences the way we view ourselves.

On the back of the video it says: "Lydia is a fat, graceful woman struggling to maintain her identity in fashionable Venice Beach, California. Though she is a member of a Fat Acceptance Group (a movement dedicated to fighting prejudice against fat people) she still struggles with complex feelings about her body and its place in the world. Darcy, a recovering-anorexic real estate agent, is struggling with the same issues from a very different perspective. Her attempt to join the Fat Acceptance Group (since she sees herself as fat) is quickly rejected--but it introduces her to Lydia. Though they seem at first to be each others worst nightmare, Lydia and Darcy begin to confide in each other. Meeting warily in the social minefield's of hunger and satisfaction, anger and femininity, sexuality and fashion, trust and fear...they become friends."

I'm not sure what I think of this film. It had no rating, but had it gone through that process would certainly have earned an R for language and nudity. (There is one sex scene that starts out tastefully cut to give the sense of it without revealing too much and then all of a sudden goes across the line, at least for my tastes).

Still, there is much of value in the film - disturbingly so.

Both the obese woman and the frighteningly thin woman in this movie are struggling with feelings of disgust and loathing for their bodies. They are trying to break through and conquer that self hatred, to learn to appreciate and embrace who they are as they are. Why is that so hard?

There is so much in our culture that teaches us to feel inadequate, that we do not fit, do not measure up.

Jen has been addressing some of these issues over on her blog Lords of the Manner, and is hosting a Self Esteem Carnival on Dec 2.

I'll be very interested to read what others have to say on this topic, and if I have time to pull something coherent together may contribute a piece as well.

I encourage any of you other bloggers who stop by here to consider posting something on the subject and linking it in to Jen's carnival.

Why I Write

I've been talking with a non-blogging, real-time friend of mine about why I blog. She said: "You are one of the busiest people I know. With all you have to do, why do you spend so much time writing personal things for strangers to read?"

Well, when you put it THAT way, it does sound sorta self indulgent and foolish I suppose.

But it also misses the point.

Writing for me is a way to better understand my own view point. I'm not just expressing / explaining them to those who will read this stuff. The very process of writing helps me get clarity in my own thinking. Sometimes emotions, ideas, attitudes all tumble together topsy turvy in my brain. I use the writing as a way to sort out what part really fits for me and what does not. Actually there have been MANY posts that never made it beyond "draft" status because they were a little too revealing, too close to the bone for public consumption. But when I limit all of my writing to isolation with no intention of ever allowing it to be read it somehow doesn't serve the same function as laying it out on the table and allowing others to see it and give feedback.

I have no illusions about being a great writer. I ramble. I too often have choppy mechanics from unchecked typos to dangling participles. I have run on sentences. While I would love to be Edith Wharton and Anias Nin all rolled into one, with a sprinkling of Wallace Stegner thrown in for good measure, I KNOW that is not the case. But I enjoy the process and that's what counts for me.

I do not sing well. (That's putting it mildly.) But singing feels good, so I belt out ballads on road trips and croon in the shower just for the sheer joy of it. In public I am much more reserved with my voice. But I do still sing carols with neighbors and friends at Christmas and I join in with congregational hymns at my church. I'm not PERFORMING. I'm PARTICIPATING.

That's how I view my blogging. I use my time at the computer to connect, to ruminate, to explore ideas, to share a story or a resource.

Besides, even though the relationships are very DIFFERENT from my regular-life friends, I enjoy the companionship I weave with my blogger pals. Even though we have never met face to face, I have a sense of "knowing" Mimi who loves baseball and looks beautiful in bluebonnets,

I adore Jaquandor, the writer guy in buffalo who shares my love for a good pie in the face. He may be on a blogging hiatus right now, but I have every confidence he will return to the scene eventually - and if not we'll keep in touch through occasional e-mails.

Jen over at Lords of the Manner is someone who shares my faith which gives us something in common, but more importantly someone I can "talk" to via e-mail about things that really matter.

Papa Herman started out as someone I only knew through blogging but I now count as a friend in my REAL life, where as Rozel is someone who started out in my REAL live but then moved away so now we stay in touch in part by reading one another's blogs.

Probably one of my most faithful readers of all is my dear friend and sometimes vacation partner, Pat B. in Wenatchee. She does not blog herself and almost never leaves a public comment - but by reading my blogs she knows what I'm doing, what I'm thinking...and often responds in our private e-mail conversations. I would generally not write the kind of stuff I put here in an e-mail - but sharing this stuff HAS helps she and I grow closer. Pat has got some challenges goin' on right now so I ask that ALL my blogger buddies that are so inclined please say an extra prayer for this dear woman who I love with all my heart.

Retired teacher Ruth D. over at Upstream and Down is someone whose point of view I very much appreciate.

And of course every now and then I have to check out Dragon Slaying Laura to see what she is up to.

There are others I read more sporadically. But this collection of folks are people who make me laugh, make me think, make me appreciate who they are as individuals - even for those I will NEVER know in real time physical world.

So even though from time to time there will be periodic lapses during seasons when my "REAL" life gets particularly insane, I keep blogging. For me, it means being in the company of good friends. I don't have to agree with them or live the same sort of lifestyle. But by knowing each one of these folks my life is richer. During all the angst and changes I had going on over this past summer my blogging friends were a support to me in more ways than I can name. Sometimes I really do appreciate the INFORMATION the internet puts at my disposal. But every single time I pop in to peruse the pages of my core circle of blogging friends I am ever so grateful for this tool that has allowed us to find each other in this big complicated world.

If I were Vulcan I'd say "Live Long and Prosper." But instead I'll offer up my own closing salutation - May you all one day know the joy of a big gooey Pie in the Face!

Honoring Fred

I've spent the last several hours working on one of my other blogs - the one I put together to honor / remember my father-in-law. He was a remarkable man who I loved and respected a great deal. I decided a blog would be a good way to be sure that family records would be preserved and made available to any of our clan that wants to share them. So I've been scanning documents and pictures, transcribing journals, and reviewing stories that had been recorded over the years. I still have quite a bit to add, but I think it is beginning to take shape nicely. It has been several years since his passing, but the love he had for his family still burns bright. May his memory be eternal.

Blogger Readability

Well, I'm not sure what to think. I ran my URL through the Blogger Readability test and it came back saying the writing was college level. Then, just for comparison I scanned Jaquandor's blog and his came up saying Elementary School level. What's up with that? Maybe it's his frequent use of words like "weirdness" or perhaps it is the Bart & Homer Simpson references?? But then I ran Mimi's Bigger Than a Breadbox and she also ranked Elementary School level - and for the life of me I can't figure out what would make that possible. She uses generally short, easy to read sentences (a GOOD thing in a blog), but her vocabulary is NOT elementary school in my opinion.Papa Herman's comes in at a Jr. High level as does Jen over at Lords of the Manner.

So now I'm wondering A) how does this thing determine reading level and B) do I come off as a word snob? Granted, I work for a college, I am surrounded by college educated people most the time and I probably do use some phrases that are not typical of lower reading levels. But I've never made any particular attempt to write for a higher level audience. I just write the way I think/talk.

What does that say about me?

So many blogs...so little time

HMMM, it has been a whole week gone by now with me neglecting this little blog. High time I got back to it, eh? I have several other blogs that lately I've focused a bit more attention on, but this one is close to my heart, so I can't give up on it entirely.

Most of my energy lately has gone to my newest blog, "Adjunct Lounge" for the community college where I work. That one's private, open only to invited readers so that instructors can freely discuss issues about classroom managment with no fear their student will stumble upon it. We don't use names (FERPA rules), but we can use examples that are pretty telling...so it's important it stays out of the public arena. I've rather enjoyed designing it and exploring link land to discover all sorts of cool resources to include.

Then of course there is the Waters of Mormon blog that I contribute to. We've had a few interesting topics going on over there.

Occassionally I still find something I want to post over at Life by Design.

And there's another one that I've been experimenting with for a totally different kind of writing that what I do here...it's still a work in progress which may or may not link back to this at some time.

Someone asked me recently how I manage to keep up with all these blogs (plus the ones I read regularly) AND hold three jobs (my primary full time job for Oregon community college, teaching two online classes for Washington community college and now also teaching face-to-face adjunct classes in Oregon on evenings/weekends). The answer is simple. I simply don't sleep. If I ever get my insomina thing figured out I may be doomed.

New Group Blog

I am going to be one of the contributing writers over at a new group blog called Waters of Mormon. It's a brand new blog that is just getting started as a collaboration between an interesting mix of folks from across the country.

If you are LDS, or just curious about what LDS people are saying on a variety of topics, I invite you to go check us out.

Of course, I will continue my usual inane musings here on things of a more secular nature. For me, the new blog will take the place of My Small Plates. It makes sense to me to write my more private spiritual thoughts in my personal journals rather than a blog, and then have the things that I am open to discussion on in a forum where I can get more interaction.

It's certainly not limited to LDS readers, but will deal primarily with issues of both doctrine & culture of the LDS people so I expect those to be our chief audience.

Still... I continue to read Orthodox stuff all the time and dearly love my Orthodox pals. Learning about the observation of Lent and Pascha, or other fasts and feasts from and Orthodox point of view has deeply enriched my understanding of Christianity. It has not altered my concept of who God is or what my relationship to Him is. But it has shifted my prayer life somewhat. While I remain strong in my own faith, I have been deeply blessed by my exposure to Orthodoxy.

Also I read other things, such as Deb Pasquella's blog Let Me Go On and On! which has an entirely different view of what is or is not a moral life that what my faith teaches. I do not have to agree with all her views for me to appreciate her gift with words or to appreciate the common bond we have as smart women with faith in Christ.

Being willing to explore other people's views rather than only looking at my own church's teachings has given me greater clarity about a myriad of things pertaining to faith. So who knows? Perhaps occasionally people not of my faith will drop by to peruse the Waters of Mormon too and that's fine. Everyone is welcome.

I guess what I like best about this whole blogging world is that it gives people who have something in common a chance to come together to talk about things that are meaningful to them, yet it also gives me a window into worlds I might not otherwise know much about. Every now and then I say I am going to take a break from blogging because my real life gets so full. Still, I think sampling both sides of that spectrum is what keeps me coming back.

Large Hearted Boy

I just found a cool website I had been utterly unaware of. I was looking for links to list the last couple books I have finished to my list of Books I've read in 2007 Doing a Google search for Arsonist's Guide to Writer's Homes in New England led me to Largehearted Boy. The description says: "Largehearted Boy is a music blog featuring daily free and legal music downloads as well as news from the worlds of music, literature, and pop culture." The piece on my book had the author describing the music he was listening to while writing the novel. Interesting .

I'll definitely explore this find some more.

Some of the book links on my list are simple - leading to purchase info at Powell's bookstore or Amazon.com. But usually I like to look for something that offers more, a review or notes about the author. It helps me remember more of the details about the book. I read a lot and then on top of that listen to a good many tales on CD in my car as I commute back and forth to work. After a while they all sort of run together in my head. By looking back at my list and bringing up the links I can bring them back as individual stories that had some impact on me.

Then of course, in addition to all the books I really did read to the end I COULD have a whole other list...the ones I started but never finished. Maybe next year.

Blogging Success

The new group blog I am going to be participating in continues to move forward. It is not quite ready to go public, but some of the other writers have now posted their bios and our fearless leader is tweaking some of the administrative functions to make it easier to use and more visually appealing. It has been fun to watch the thing grow from an idea to something tangible.

Eric, the organizer of this thing, recently asked each of us who are involved in the project to consider the following questions:

How would you define blogging success?
Is this success measurable?
How will you/we know if we are being successful here?

So I'm curious....how would YOU answer those things?

Online Relationships

Blogger pal Mimi recently sent me an e-mail suggesting I check out The English Geek, a delightful blog written by Amy S., one of the women Mimi knows through their shared passion for scrap booking. I'm always up for discovering another good writer!

One of the posts I found there that intrigued me the most was to hear what Amy had to say about Online Relationships.

Apparently she had just learned that one of her blogger friends (who she had never met in real life) had recently died. That caused her much sadness, but it was a loss that was not in any way acknowledged by conventional social rules for grieving. There is no recognized space in our culture for how deeply these sorts of bonds affect us. If someone you knew on the next block suddenly died and you mentioned to family or friends that your neighbor had passed away there would be sympathy and support for your sorrow. But because when the person you "know" is known only in cyberspace, the custom for validating bereavement simply isn’t there. Still, the loss is real and can impact a person in a significant way.

Even if the person doesn't die - let's say they just get busy with other things, change jobs or move on to leave their blog behind...we may feel a genuine sense of loss if we had come to routinely depend on time spent in that person's world, much like the sadness I feel for a co-worker who recently quit to go be a stay-at-home mother. I'm thrilled for her to begin this new chapter in her life of having her first baby. But I'm terribly sad for me to no longer get to work with her. I miss my pal. Work just isn't the same without her. Losing a valued blog can feel much the same way.

Human intimacy is such a complex thing. I am convinced that when we share bits of our minds, hearts and spirits meaningful relationships emerge whether we ever know the faces or not.

I've been teaching Sociology courses online for about five years. I have wonderfully rich conversations with student who I never meet in the real world. We develop bonds that matter. Yet many people discount those relationships when they learn I have not very met them face to face.

For instance, Mimi, who I have never met in the world is a complete stranger to me in the physical sense. But a week doesn't go by that I don't check her blog to see what she has to say. She’s made me laugh, made me think, and offered many sweet insights I have treasured. We don’t have all that much in common – we follow different faith traditions and are at very different stages in our lives. Still – through comments we leave on one another’s blog and sprinklings of sporadic e-mails in between, we have created a friendship that adds richness to my world.

Jaquandor is another who I count as a friend although we know each other only in cyberspace.

Papa Herman is a hybrid pal - MOST of our contact is in the virtual sphere but every once in a while - usually many months apart - we will see each other in the world and enjoy one another's family.

There are a handful of others (you know who you are!) who I am just now beginning to get to know a bit better...introduced through a comment here I now read them regularly and am getting acquainted. When I think of my online friends I think of people who are very dear to me, whether I ever meet them or not. They enrich my life in many ways.

At the other end of the spectrum, however, the sort of dark side of the virtual world is that SOME people do get so caught up in their cyber relationships that they begin to withdraw from their regular circle of people they know in the world. Family and friends they could do regular activities with start to take second billing to the comfort of the computer. That can become unhealthy. If we'd rather be blogging that living our real lives ...that's a slippery slope I think we all have to watch out for.

Then there’s also the issue of deceptive blogging – where instead of revealing myself to you I might create a completely made up persona to interact for whatever agenda I might have – from the most benign form of designing an alter-ego for fantasy fun to the dangerous predators that stalk for vulnerable prey.

I do choose to use a pseudonym for most of my online writing...just something that popped up way back when this blog first began. But the ideas and feelings I express are authentic. But how would anyone know if they were a complete fictional fabrication? I could post pictures claiming to be me or my family that had no basis in reality. I could pretend to be who I am not. I think that's something we all have to remember as we reach out to those we meet across the computer.

Still, I've been duped in the past by face-to-face "friends" who turned out not to be who I thought they were, so that is not something unique to cyberspace contacts.

I think it is wonderful that we have this amazing way to broaden our circle of contacts beyond our immediate geography (especially since I live in such a dinky little town where potential like minded others are rare indeed!)

So my heart goes out to Amy for the loss of her blog friend. And it reminds me to tell all the people who I've come to know in the cyber world - thank you for your presence. Thank you for sharing a part of your heart or mind, your opinions or your memories or your beliefs, with me. You've stretched my world and made it better. Even if we never met.

Loyalty

I'm finding myself feeling frustrated with the way Blogger has changed.

They took away my color palate. They took away my ability to click on topics in the interest list in my profile to find like minded others.

Both of these things annoy me to no end.

But is it time to make the switch to TypePad? I'm not sure.

I do not consider myself a "loyal" blogger user. I use this because it's where I got started with blogging a year and a half ago and I know my way around the navigation tools, so it is easy for me. If at any time in the future I find that some other blog tool appears to offer more advantages, I will definitely jump ship.

I see no advantage whatsoever in sticking with Blogger out of "loyalty". I use it so long as it meets my needs, period.

That got me thinking, however, to what things DO merit a dose of loyalty, and how far that kind of commitment should evoke my continued support.

In his book, The Loyalty Effect Fred Reicheld defines loyalty as "the willingness to make an investment or personal sacrifice to strengthen a relationship."

This would imply that there is no loyalty required or expressed any time I continue an association with a person, product, organization or group that is completely meeting my needs. Loyalty only truly comes into play when I continue to support a team that is losing, when I stand by a friend who is going through hard times, when I stick with a job even though I have another one offered to me, or in some other way maintain a relationship when there are both reasons and opportunity to leave.

At what point is loyalty an honorable trait and when does it become just plain stupid?

How long does it make sense to remain friends with someone who continually annoys or embarrasses you, simply because you've known that person for over ten years?

Is it positive or foolhardy to stick to a job out of "loyalty" when another company calls to make a better offer?

Would I continue to patronize a restaurant out of loyalty if the food was bad and the prices were high? I doubt it.

My husband is a person who highly values good service. If a store, restaurant or most any type of service provider treats him well he will go back time and time again even if they are out of the way or charge more than their competition. He views this as becoming a "loyal" customer. I don't. I see it as him continuing to choose to do business with folks who meet his needs. He just happens to value friendly and efficient service over price or location. IF those businesses started ignoring him or being surly I suspect my beloved would drop them like a hot potato.

The term "fair weather friend" is generally perceived as a derisive label. We look unfavorably upon those who will only follow their own self interest. Yet the flip side of that is we often lose respect for someone who allows themselves to be repeatedly taken advantage of or treated badly and does nothing about it. Those guys seem spineless.

So where does loyalty come into the equations? When the going gets rough in a relationship - be it friends, business, or whatever - where does it make sense to hold on and where does it make sense to cut your losses and let go?

Blogger Awards

I've been honored by a few different folks who seem to enjoy this humble little blog...

Jaquander of Byzantium's Shores tagged me for the Inspirational Blogger Award HERE on 7/23/07.



Lei from My Many Colored Days nominated me for the Blogger Reflections Award HERE on 7/9/07.


Mimi over at Bigger Than a Breadbox honored me with Thinking Blogger Award HERE on 4/16/07



Then, not long ago Kevin B. from Baron of Deseret contacted me to invite me to be a regularly contributing writer in a new forum he is initiating.

And finally I've had some feedback on a fiction piece I've been working on from published author Terri Jentz who is strongly encouraging me to continue with that effort.

I find myself both flattered and baffled by all this.

I write like I breathe...not because I thought anyone would care, but because it sustains me. As I've alluded to before, I'm a crazy insomniac so from a very early age I adapted the habit of writing to occupy myself in the wee hours of the night without bothering anyone. Beyond that, during the chaotic years of my biggest brain dysfunction I did a stint of psychotherapy during which time I wrote reams and reams of journals of introspective angst that solidified the habit into the hard wiring of my system.

When I check my blogger stats I'm always a bit mystified to discover I've got people tuning in from all over the world.

I am not sure what keeps folks coming back, but I'd just like to say thanks to all of you who have chosen to spend some time here, and especially to those of you who have shared some comments along the way.

When I first started blogging I assumed that this would be a good way to stay in touch with family and friends (most of whom fell out of the circle early on.) It never even occurred to me that total strangers would give a rip about what a self indulgent middle aged lady in Oregon would have to say.

But I've been blessed to make a handful of good friends out there in the blogosphere and to get to meet all sorts of folk both far and wide. I've learned so much from reading what many of you have written and been comforted at times by your willingness to listen to and accept my prattle. I've laughed and wept and pondered as the words have come across the ethernet from me to you and you to me.

It's an amazing world we live in. So even though I've not been one to pass on those awards as I could have... know that I very much have appreciated your kindness in acknowledging my efforts here at mind-muffins.

Now it's time for me to get off to bed...but I'll be back. See you in the next post.

Hawking goods & services is not always bad

One of the cool things about blogging is the way tracking back through comments allows me to discover new ideas, information and people I would have found no other way.

Heather happened to comment on my "On a High Wire Without a Net" post saying she too had difficulty finding a good doctor. Apparently she has since gotten lucky and found one she does like. What was interesting to me was the series of google ads she had appearing in the box next to her posting about the new doctor she found. There were some great resources - like the HealthGrades one that gives people access to information about physicians or the article on improving patient safety.

I've seen many blogs that include ads as a means of generating revenue for the writer. I've always eschewed those ads, perceiving them as increasingly ubiquitous fodder. But THESE were relevant, helpful, and non intrusive. HMMM. I just may have to reconsider my views on the place of advertisements in blogger posts. Perhaps they are not all "sell outs" after all.