Crazy 8 Meme

I picked this one up over on Mimi's blog...seemed like something fun so here are my answers:

8 Things I am looking forward to:

1. Moving to Idaho
2. Watermelon that has taste (note to self, in future no matter how tantalizing they look in the store, do NOT buy watermelon until at least June. May watermelons taste like cardboard, I don't care where they are grown.)
3. Seeing the hollyhocks I planted bloom
4. Next year's Bright Monday picnic (and the one after that, and the one after that...) This is a tradition very worth keeping.
5. Travelling to Italy. (Ok, so this one is not exactly in the works right at this very moment...but SOMEDAY I'll get there yet. Hey, it's MY list, I'm keeping it!)
6. Seeing the new Star Trek movie
7. Getting my laptop back WITHOUT it's slow as molasses in January problems.
8. Did I mention moving to Idaho? Yeah, I know I did. But that is what I am REALLY focused on these days.

8 Things I did yesterday:

1. Worked on Second Chance Act grant and got totally overwhelmed by all the federal reporting requirements
2. Picked up a bed donated by a very nice lady
3. Visited with a dear friend who I trust and respect
4. Appreciated all the trees blooming in Walla Walla
5. Watched the French film The Diving Bell and the Butterfly - AMAZING Story!!! Can't wait to read the book. Maybe I should have put that up above??
6. Looked at various real estate websites for homes in Nampa and Meridian
7. Enjoyed time with my dog
8. Started planning the talk I will give in church this Sunday

8 Things I wish I could do:
1. Stay focused on gratitude in the face of adversity
2. Soothe the suffering of people I love
3. Speak Spanish fluently
4. Play the piano
5. Knit (No, I did not forget to take of Mimi's answer, I'm just stealing it. I've never learned how because I just don't sit still long enough. But it seems like a cool and worthwhile practice. Maybe I'll learn??)
6. Keep my office clean and organized for longer than 3 days.
7. Go on vacation - Italy, Greece or even Yellowstone. Unfortunately, due to dollar constraints and work commitments it probably is NOT going to happen this year. Sigh. I guess I'll have to be satisfied with a trip to Utah for Memorial Day.
8. Swim with confidence. I can swim, but I'm always just a little nervous in water over my head. A couple serious near drownings - one as a kid and one as an adult - have made me very wary of water.

8 Shows I Watch

1. House
2. Grey’s Anatomy
3. CSI
4. Star Trek Voyager
5. NCIS
6. Numbers
7.
8. (Actually that's about it, and I don't watch any of those faithfully...they are simply things I have watched, sometimes watch or would watch again. I honestly could not tell you what channel any of them are on, what time they play or even what days... I just go grazing for media once in a while and these will catch my fancy.)

That's all that was included in the original meme. Just for the fun of it I am adding these:

8 Life Lessons I have benefited from (or am TRYING to put into practice)

1. Don't sweat the small stuff. (and most everything is small stuff.)
2. There is no such thing as getting it wrong. There is just different outcomes. EVERY path we take will have advantages and disadvantages. Be willing to be open and learn from whatever comes.
3. Take good care of your feet. (and the rest of your body while you are at it.)
4. Find something to TRULY feel grateful for every single day.
5. While relative morality and tolerance for just about everything may be popular, some things really are wrong.
6. Living with integrity matters.
7. Learning something new is great, but there is also tremendous value in REMEMBERING what you already learned and actually putting it into practice.
8. Live with passion.

Ok - there is is. I'm not tagging anyone, but feel free to play along if you choose

The Bucket List - REVISED

I did this list a while ago when I first got it as an e-mail. Since then a few other versions have floated across my screen. I just got tagged again with an updated one on FaceBook with a lot more categories to respond to, so I figured I'd add the items I left on the first time around...

I'll BOLD the ones I've actually done and put occasional comments in italics.

Gone on a blind date.
(I've made many blind choices in my life...but done very little formal "dating" blind or otherwise.)

Donated Blood

Skipped school.
(way more than I should have....)

Watched someone die
I've been touched by death several times, but not been there at the exact moment.

Been to Canada I have GREAT memories of taking my boys to Niagara Falls when they were little and then there was a fishing trip to Thessalon once that was pretty fun.

Been to Mexico

Been to Florida I really enjoyed Ft. Lauderdale, had a blast at Key Largo but I DESPISE Orlando and would feel blessed never to return. I lived in Juno Beach (just north of West Palm) for a few months one winter...lessons learned there are a story for another day.

Been to Hawaii

Been to Africa

Been on a plane
I am always a bit surprised how many people have NOT been on a plane. I've done lots. My first experience was on a little prop plane at the fair grounds when I was a kid. The pilot took people up for a nickle per pound of their body weight and took a few spins around the town so you could look down and see your house, the school, the church and all those people you knew looking like ants. This was back before air travel had become common and felt like an exhilarating rush at the time. (Yep, I'm THAT old). Since then I've been on LOTS of commercial flights. My absolute favorite was the Lufthansa flight that took us to Frankfurt, Germany on our way to Cairo. Now THAT is an airline that knows how to treat passengers like valued guests!

Been on a helicopter

Been lost

Gone to Washington, DC

Hugged a homeless person
(Did that today, as a matter of fact. One of the women in the shelter my agency runs just got a job and is taking steps toward independence. I'm really proud of her!)

Swam in the oceanAtlantic, Pacific, and Red Sea

Swam with Stingrays
Thank you NO. I admit I get a little creeped out when wild fish or other swimmy critters come close in the ocean. I once got mugged by a school of something or another at Hanauma Bay in Hawaii. Totally weird.

Been sailing in the ocean
Well, not EXACTLY. I've been on a variety of water crafts, but not a sailboat.
One of the more interesting was a "water bus" we took from the main island of Fiji out to the remote out islands of the Yasawas. Quite an interesting ride.

Broken a bone

Been in a traffic accident.

Cried yourself to sleep

Been on TV

Stole traffic signs

Played cops and robbers
Well, not exactly. But as children following the Chicago convention in '68 my sibs and I played demonstrators and police. Those taking on the "police" role wore football helmets and carried improvised billy clubs. Those being the rioting demonstrators got to run around the yard carrying placards and chanting slogans until they were chased to the ground.......

Recently colored with crayons

Sang Karaoke

Volunteered at a soup kitchen

Paid for a meal with coins only

Been to the top of the St. Louis Arch

Seen the Northern Lights

Been Para sailing

Done something you told yourself you wouldn't
from consuming one more piece of pie than I should have to engaging in a relationship that led to a seven year marital nightmare.

Made prank phone calls

Been down Bourbon Street in New Orleans
Yes, I was blessed to spend time in the town PRE-Katrina.

Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose & elsewhere.

Fed an elephant

Caught a snowflake on your tongue

Fired a gun

Danced in the rain

Been to the opera
I've seen lots of live stage plays and some excellent musicals, even the symphony but never the opera.

Written a letter to Santa Claus

Serenaded someone

Seen a US President in Person
Jimmy Carter came to my college and gave a fascinating presentation. Although I voted for him I was not the least bit impressed by his performance as commander in chief. Still, I've always respected him as a humanitarian and diplomat. He was a lousy president IMHO, but quite a remarkable human being.

Watched the sunrise with someone

Driven a race car

Been to a National Museum

Been to a Wax Museum

Eaten caviar

Been kissed under the mistletoe

Watched the sunrise with someone

Blown bubbles

Gone ice-skating

Been deep sea fishing

Driven across the United States

Been in a hot air balloon
My beloved and I had an appointment to go but flight got cancelled due to high winds. RATS! That's something I still want to do.

Gone skydiving
Why would I jump out of a perfectly good airplane?

Gone snowmobiling

Lived in more than one country

Layed down outside and admired the stars while listening to crickets

Caught fireflies in a jar

Seen a falling star and made a wish

Enjoyed the beauty of Old Faithful Geyser

Seen the Grand Canyon

Seen the Statue of Liberty

Gone to the top of the Seattle Space Needle
Nice view, but highly over-rated and not really worth the price IMHO

Been on a cruise

Travelled by train

Travelled by motorcycle

Been horseback riding

Ridden on a San Francisco Cable Car

Been to Disneyland AND Disney world

Truly believed in the power of prayer

Been in a Rain Forest

Seen whales in the ocean

Been to Niagara Falls

Ridden on an elephant

Been to the Olympics

Walked on the Great Wall of China
Someday, I hope.

Saw and heard a glacier calf
Nope, only saw the papa glaciers.

Been spinnaker flying
I don't have any idea what a spinnaker is

Been water skiing

Been snow skiing
Cross Country only

Been to Westminster Abby

Been to the Louvre

Swam in the Mediterranean
One of the few oceans I've missed

Been to a major league baseball game

Been to a National Football league game

Swam with sharks
Good gracious NO!

Been white water rafting

Written a book or a screenplay

Been skinny dipping outdoors

Gone to the movies
Yep. Plenty of times.

Have a nickname

Body piercings
Only if ears count


Other Questions:

1. Favorite drink? hot chocolate or Good Earth tea.

2. How much do you love your job? This week, things are going well. Some days, not so much.

3. Birthplace? Flagstaff, AZ

4. Favorite vacation spot? Can't pick just one...have had some great trips!

5. Ever eaten just cookies for dinner? Cereal yes, cookies, no.

6. Favorite pie? For EATING I prefer fruit pies, cherry or peach. For face splatting obviously the cream pies are best - something like coconut or Boston cream.

7. Favorite holiday? 4th of July

8. Favorite food? anything I don't have to cook.

9 Favorite smell? my husband just out of the shower, baking bread, ozone in the air mixed with grease wood and sage after a rainstorm in the desert

10. How do you relax? reading, writing, walking through wheat fields, hanging out with friends.

11. How do you see yourself in 10 years? I'll be 61, my husband will be 73. Depending on health and economics...hopefully living life with passion.

So that's my answers. How about you?

My Faith Firsts

Here's a different sort of meme...I got this one from Jaquandor who tagged me with it over on facebook.

Memes are usually fun little diversions for giving brief list type answers, not really something for serious reflection. But this one strikes me as something worth exploring a bit deeper...so here goes.

1. Who gave you your first Bible?

My maternal grandmother gave me one for my eighth birthday. I don't remember Grandma ever being particularly religious. I never saw her pray or go to any church. But yep, she gave me my first scriptures that were my very own. I still have it.

I have always been a King James Version reader, and in recent years exclusively have read the LDS version that has full footnoting to our other "Standard Works", Bible Dictionary and Topical Guide. I've read bits and pieces in other versions, but the modern ones just don't connect with me like KJV.

2. When and where did you receive your first Communion?

I was raised LDS and we don't do that.

3. What was the first prayer you were taught?

While I certainly did learn about the Lord's Prayer, we don't do memorized rote prayers. Our prayers are more a spontaneous conversation with a loving Father in Heaven. When I was a kid I WAS taught a special formula to know what to pray about. I was told to use my hand as a reminder of how to pray:

1) Thumb is closest to you - so pray for your family and friends, the people close to your heart

2) Index finger is the pointer, pray for your teachers and church leaders who show you the way

3) Middle finger is the tallest - pray for world leaders that they will make good decisions and lead us righteously

4) Ring finger is the weakest - pray for those that are weak, anyone sick, poor, lost - all the sad people who are crying and need God's love

5) Pinkie finger is smallest - but your hand would not be whole without it. Even when you feel small and unimportant, know that in God's eyes you are very special and that Christ's atonement and sacrifice were not just for the world - it was also for you is a specific, personal way. Pray for yourself, for what you need, for what you are thankful for, for whatever concerns you may have.

I honestly don't remember who taught me that little piece, but I remember the lesson and used it for years.

4. What was the first church you attended?

My parents converted to the LDS faith the year before I was born, so that is the church they took me to as a baby and young child. By the time I was old enough to form solid memories my dad had dropped away from church activity and never again went to any organized religion. My mom continued to go as much as she could manage with her five wild kids in tow.

In the summers all of us kids went to Vacation Bible School at the nearby Four Square Gospel church - I think just to give our poor mom a break. It was close by and it was free, it involved bible verses and songs about Jesus so she figured it was a suitable place to ship off her brood so she could get some peace and quiet for a bit.

When I was in my teens I got rebellious and quite going to church with my mom. Later I did a bit of church shopping, alternately attending various faiths with my friends. I was intrigued, but none of them really fit for me. I took comparative world religion class in college and that led me to doing quite a bit of reading about eastern religions. Still, from about 18-25 I was a hard core agnostic.

I came back to the LDS faith when I met my sweet husband who came from a family of Utah Mormons with ancestors who had walked across the plains. I had no desire to get involved at first - just started out doing some reading to learn about it so I would better understand him. I considered the LDS faith my mother's church but really didn't think it had anything to do with me. In no way did it feel like renewing something that had once been my own. I had a little bit of background, but no true understanding of it. Initially I approached it with rather jaded, cynical eyes.

Somewhere along the way, however, I had some key experiences, some answers to prayers, some witness of the Holy Spirit that shifted my views. I developed a testimony of the LDS faith that continued to grow over the years and I have been active now for nearly 28 years.

I still occasionally will go to other churches. I plan to attend Pascha services with my Orthodox friends again this year. I have attended other services with different friends. But I am very, very seriously committed to my own faith.

5. What was the first Bible passage/story that became meaningful to you? There was a lady who lived next door to us who used to help me memorize scriptures for Primary. I still remember her helping me learn several different scriptures that were assigned, so some of them dance in my head. But the fondness I have for those passages is based more on my memory of that time with her than it is focusing on the scriptures themselves. As an adult, a scripture that has been powerful for me is from the Book of Mormon Mosiah 27:29 - My soul hath been redeemed from the gall of bitterness and bonds of iniquity. I was in the darkest abyss; but now I behold the marvelous light of God. My soul was racked with eternal torment; but I am snatched, and my soul is pained no more."

I guess I can relate to that one because like Alma the younger and the sons of Mosiah, I went through a dark season when I was making choices that cut my life of from light of Christ. Then some stuff happened and my life completely shifted for the better. I was not struck down by an angel, but I did have some very powerful experiences that entirely changed my perspective on faith and life in general. I became converted in the true meaning of the word, in that I experienced a mighty change of heart. I am ever so grateful for knowing what I now know.

6. What was the first miracle you experienced?

This is very personal, very sacred to me and not something I readily share in public.

7. Where and when were you baptized?

I was baptized in Flagstaff, AZ at the age of eight, which is considered the age of accountability in my faith.

I could never understand why other faiths would baptize little babies. I was always taught that baptism was an outward symbol for washing away our sins, and I don't believe babies are capable of sin. They can't repent or develop faith at that early age, so baptising infants has always felt just weird to me. More recently I've come to understand it better - how for some faiths baptism of infants is more a matter of the parents making a commitment to raise the child in the faith, it's sort of like dedicating the child to God. But for those that believe the child will not be accepted back into the full presence of God if they should happen to die without baptism just feels wrong to me.

One of the things I'm wrestling with in my own faith right now is the challenge of understanding my obligation to share what I believe with others. I am quite open to answering questions regarding my faith if asked or to share my experiences with anyone who indicates they are interested. However, I am not one to try to open doors to conversation about my religious beliefs with others unless they clearly show it would be welcome.

In principle I believe in Missionary Work, but in practice I lean heavily on the 11th Article of Faith which says: We claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may.

I do believe the truth I have been taught is precious and that it is important that I share that truth with others. Yet I also respect that other folks believe other things and I am very sensitive to not being too intrusive. However, lately I'm wrestling with trying to sort how much of that is really sensitivity or respect for others beliefs, and how much of it is just plain fear because I don't want people to think I'm weird or pushy.

Sometimes it feels arrogant to me for me to presume that what I believe is more correct and therefore superior to what someone else might believe. I tend to take the policy of saying "this is the spiritual path that fits for me and I find it very meaningful. But if you have a different spiritual path, or even no spiritual path at all, I can respect your choice." I've internalized a huge dose of cultural relativity over the years, accept that different people have different ways of living, believing, thinking and presuming that's just fine.

But if I honestly believe what I say I believe...well, then baptism by those who are in authority IS essential for EVERYONE. If I don't share that knowledge with others unless they ask about it first, what does that say about me?

Our ward has an "Invitation Sunday" coming up that all of are being challenged to invite someone we know to church. We've been counselled to make a list of all our friends and associates and prayerfully consider who on that list we can invite. I have been prayerfully considering this, but am struggling with it more than I care to admit. I think in some ways it would be easier to knock on doors and talk to strangers about the gospel than it is to try to share with my non-member friends.

Part of what holds me back is fear. I don't want them to reject me. I also resist because I pre-judge, saying to myself "Oh, he wouldn't be interested" or "she has her own beliefs and is not open to changing them" without ever trying to broach the subject in even the most general of terms. So maybe a first I could add to this list would be

Who was the first person you introduced to your church?

We've had missionaries in our home teaching people before, but that's always been someone who was already an established investigator. It would be something very different to be able to introduce someone I know to my faith. We'll see how that goes...

Post #500

For my 500th posting on this blog I thought I would print the 16 random things meme that is floating around facebook...

My brother, Wayne, tagged me in this facebook chain called "16 Randoms". It's posted with these guidelines:

I. Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 16 random facts about yourself
II. At the end of the note, tag 16 people
III. You are supposed to tag the person who tagged you, too
IV. If I've tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

Here are my 16 things:

1. I was born on the day Sputnik took flight

2. Unlike many women who came of age in my era, I have never attended a tupperware party.

3. One of my accomplishments of which I am most proud is that age 51 I am totally, completely out of debt (not counting one thing that I am a co-signer on because although it shows up on my credit rating and I may pay some or all of it off, that loan technically belongs to someone else.) All of the debts that I took on for myself have one by one been wiped away. YES!

4. As a young teen I made a list of 15 things that I wanted to accomplish or acquire when I grew up. They all came true. I don't want some of those things any more. Maybe it's time for a new list.

5. I took scuba lessons two different times. I flunked both times.

6. When I was a kid Elvis Presley came to my small town in Arizona to film the movie "Stay Away Joe". Other "Famous" people I have observed include Jimmy Carter, Harry Chapin, Frank Zappa, and lots of rock stars at concerts. Not so famous people I have crossed paths with include Elder Ephraim, Rollo May and Chris Sizemore.

7. I have lived in Arizona, Ohio, Florida, Michigan, Washington and Oregon. From the time I left my parent's home at age 16 I have moved 21 times.

8. I expect I will move again in the next year.

9. I have had many different jobs including phone solicitor, juvenile probation officer, factory worker making CB antennas, part-time college teacher, bug counter, crisis intervention specialist, secretary, training coordinator, passing out fliers, marketing director, drug dealer, executive director

10. I am currently looking for another job.

11. In 2001 I walked from Enumclaw to Seattle (approx 60 miles) in 3 days as part of the Avon 3 day marathon to raise money and awareness for the cause of stopping Breast Cancer. I fell and sprained my ankle the first hour of the first day. I walked the whole way anyway.

12. Cities/towns I have visited include: St Louis, Santa Fe, Cairo, New Orleans, Sedona, Salt Lake, Detroit, San Antonio, Chattanooga, Cleveland, Key Largo, Nassau, Jerome, Austin, Indianapolis, Chicago, Seattle, Portland, San Diego, Victoria, Anaheim, San Francisco, Omaha, Astoria, Pueblo, Phoenix, Flagstaff, Washington DC, Honolulu, Anchorage, Nashville, Palmyra, Nauvoo, Kirtland, Ithaca, Boise, Atlanta, Raleigh, Orlando, Mobile, Ft Lauderdale, Las Vegas, Kona, Homer, Kanab, Baker City, Bend, and a whole lot of other points in between.

13. I have swam in the Atlantic, the Pacific and the Red Sea. I have swam in Lake Ontario, Lake Erie and Lake Michigan. I have swam in many, many little lakes and rivers.

14. For most of my life I was afraid of water.

15. I was a grandmother for the first time before I was 40 yrs old. I now have 8 grandchildren. If my posterity continues follows my pattern of early parenthood I could be a great grandmother at 57 and a great - great grandmother at 77 and a great-great-great grandmother at 97.

16. I eat meat. Meats I have eaten in my life include chinchilla, moose, and cobra.

I tagged a bunch of people with this over on facebook so here I'll just toss it out for anyone who wants to play. If you choose to do a list of your own let me know in the comments so I can come check yours out, ok?

Ties That Bind

A meme about families:


1. Who do you consider to be members of your “family”? What is your actual relationship to them?
FAMILY to me are those I am related to by marriage or blood AND maintain a relationship with.

By blood I have 4 siblings. I only have contact with 3 of them. The one that is lost to me I think of as a "relative", which is different in my mind that my "family".

My immediate family is my husband, kids, grandkids & sibs.

My extended family to me are my in-laws, aunts & uncles, cousins, etc. Those range somewhere between "Family" and "Relative" depending on the bond we do or don't have.

I have other people I am not related to by marriage or blood whose relationships I deeply treasure, but there is a distinct difference to me between those bonds of choice than the ones of kin. I know there are "fictive kin ties" where some people think of non-family AS IF they were family. I don't really do that so much.

2. Of these people, whom do you feel closest to? Whom to you feel most distant from?
My sibs I am closest with pretty much in birth order, with the exception of the brother that is lost to me.

I have one cousin in Renton who is almost like a sib to me and other cousins I don't know at all.

3. What are some expectations you have of your family? What do they expect from you?

These seem to be shifting, evolving, changing... and each relationship is different.

4. How has ethnicity influenced your family?
This has not been a big deal for me. One uncle and two brothers have married Hispanic women. My oldest son married a woman of mixed race. Growing up white in America in the 60's and 70's in a mostly white town I never gave it a lot of thought.

5. What experiences did you have related to your family’s socio-economic status? Were there groups you were a part of or groups you were left out from as a result?

I grew up really poor and felt the sting of exclusion and / or judgment from others as a result of that. I can recall feeling unwelcome with the popular girls with the nice clothes at my school. I can also remember feeling like a "poor relation" sometimes when my family went to visit aunts and uncles whose circumstances were considerably better off than our own. I think I internalized a lot of the shame about our family life from the feelings conveyed about it by my mom. I've let go of most of that, but back in my early years it was like a weight I carried with me where ever I went. I've talked about this not that long ago with one of my cousins I used to be so intimidated by. He was baffled that I had ever felt less valued in the family because we were poor and insists they never looked down on us for our meager means. I'm not so sure... It's hard to separate out all the different layers of things that were going on at the time.

As an adult I'm somewhere in the middle of the abundance scale in my family. Some have way WAY more than my man and I do, some have considerably less. I no longer use amount of money or shiny things as the measure stick for how well someone is doing. My values about material "success" have shifted a lot. But as a kid, it was pretty grim.

6. What trait do you admire most in yourself that was a product of your family life?
Love of learning and commitment to education. Even though we were dirt poor we always had good books in our house. One of my most vivid memories of the house I grew up in is the bookcase full of encyclopedias and a big fat dictionary that were all used constantly.

7.What is the extent of your knowledge regarding the history of your family?
I know bits and pieces, but there are plenty of gaps. In my 20's and 30's I was pretty interested in genealogy and did a fair amount of family history research. So I've got lists and charts and a smattering of pictures. There are some stories that have been passed down. But once we get past my great grand parents there is little info available.

8. What is your favorite childhood memory about your family?
All of us out someplace together on a wood cutting venture. I was pretty little. It was one of our happier times.

FRIENDSHIP MEME

1. What does “friendship” mean to you?
Like the word "love", friendship occurs on so many levels. We say we are friends with folk who range from mere acquaintance to soul sister.

To me, there is a BIG difference between being "friendly" with someone and being FRIENDS. I have lots of people who are my colleagues, my cohort, my fellow congregation members, others I associate with due to the circumstances that bring us together on a more or less regular basis. I genuinely like and enjoy most of them. But FRIEND to me denotes a more deliberate choosing, not just happenstance bringing us together. FRIEND means a level of sharing that is not given indiscriminately to others. FRIEND means there is a commitment there.

2. What are the qualities you look for in a good friend?
Honesty, sense of humor, ability and willingness to maintain a confidence.

3. When does an acquaintance become a “friend”?
When we mutually begin sharing personal information we would not tell others and demonstrate trustworthiness.

4. What makes a friendship become more or less significant / intimate to you?
The degree of confidentiality I associate with what I tell them and/or they tell me.

I can genuinely ENJOY a person I do not reveal much to. But TRUST is another matter. Trust is a huge component of friendship for me.

5. What aspects of yourself do you share with a friend that you do not share with others?

Some things about my personal history. Certain opinions, values, hopes, dreams.

6. What aspects of yourself do you usually hold back in your friendships?

Things I feel vulnerable about.

7. What are some behaviors you expect from your friends?

Maintain confidences. Be truthful.

8. What are some behaviors you would not tolerate in your friends?

Mocking my values, (disagreeing is fine, ridiculing is not.)
Disrespecting my personal boundaries.

9. How does one’s willingness to be vulnerable impact friendship development?

I think it's a pretty big deal. It is quite difficult for me to show my soft under belly emotionally. But when I do with someone who can be trusted, it definitely takes the friendship to a completely different level.

10. How would you deal with sexual and / or romantic feelings (either your own or the other person’s) in a relationship you are committed to keeping as “just friends” ?

Since I am in a committed monogamous marriage I have absolutely no room for this. If I felt myself being particularly attracted to or turned on my a friend, or if a friend was overtly flirty or coming on to me in any way, I would WAY back peddle from that person. I value my marriage way too much to allow this to encroach. This is why Sean Connery and I can never be friends.

11. How do you deal with hurt feelings, conflicts, or betrayal of trust is a friendship?

Depends. Sometimes I just swallow it down, don't address it at all, and change my expectations about the relationship. I have to have a lot of respect for the person to go to them and tell them if I have felt hurt or betrayed by something they said or did and work to repair it.

In a case where I did something that made a very close friend of mine feel hurt and betrayed I tried very diligently to fix the rift. It didn't work and that person is lost to me. It has been over 10 years ago and I miss her still.

12. How have you changed as an individual due to the influence of friends?

Oh heavens, in MANY ways. My friends have taught me so much. I've learned things about spirituality, practical things like how to navigate through crowds safely, how to laugh at myself, and tons more. I would be a mere shadow of myself without the impact of my friends.

How about you?

Another Meme

I picked this one up over at Booklogged's blog, and since I'm procrastinating cleaning my kitchen I thought I'd post this instead:


7 things I've done before
1. Ridden as a passenger in an old Plymouth going 90 miles an hour down a small town airport runway in the middle of the night .
2. Eaten moose, cobra, chinchilla, and Vegemite. I'd repeat any of them EXCEPT the Vegemite. NASTY STUFF!
3. Gotten into the wrong car leaving the video store and spent several minutes of utter confusion as to why my keys would not go in the ignition. (Hey, it was dark!)
4. Won an art contest on the Wallace and Ladmo show (old kid's TV show in Arizona.) Don't be impressed. I started a picture but messed up, so I sort of scribbled over it and then did my masterpiece on the other side of the paper. They held the WRONG SIDE up on TV and it was upside down besides. Oh well, I still got my prize.
5. Gone skinny dipping with friends in a remote canyon only to be intruded upon by a hiking band of boy scouts.
6. Walked on stilts.
7. Walked into the boys bathroom at my high school by mistake.

7 things I do now
1. Walk the dog
2. Commute
3. Daydream
4. Play way too much spider solitaire when I can't sleep
5. Frequently lose my keys
6. fly kites
7. ponder big ideas


7 things I want to do
1. Get my whole office clean - not just move it all around and hide stuff, but really once and for all deal with all those papers and pictures and stuff that's never been unpacked since July and ORGANIZE IT.
2. Find shoes that are BOTH cute AND comfortable. Buy 10 pair.
3. Get back into doing stained glass again
4. Travel to New Zealand
5. Figure out Isaiah
6. Find more time for play
7. Get comfortable working with Angel

7 things that attract me to the opposite sex
1. Someone who makes me laugh
2. Confidence without cockiness
3. Ability and willingness to maintain prolonged eye contact (a rare thing!)
4. Definitely prefer beards to clean shaven on MOST guys
5. Ability & willingness to listen to me vent without trying to fix the problem or otherwise offer advice
6. Sincerity
7. Clean smell - no cologne, just man & soap.

7 Favorite Foods
1. Fresh pineapple
2. my brother's green chili
3. baklava
4. funeral potatoes with Ritz cracker crumb crust
5. Shanoa's pot roast
6. a good salad
7. almost any soup

7 things I Say Most Often:
1. It is what it is.
2. Where are my keys?
3. Did you water the plants?
4. Outstanding!
5. How can I support you right now?
6. I appreciate that.
7. I've got your back.

Ok - enough already. Now I've REALLY gotta finish that kitchen!

Technology

A while back my blogger pal Jaquandor posted this list of "technologies that USA Today touted as the most important to come along since 1982" along with comments of his opinions... I started to do a response at that time but never got it finished. It has been sitting in my "draft" box along with a couple other half finished things for some time. It's a slow blog day here, so I'll just dust this one off and kick it out the door.

1. Cellphones

YES, I have a cell and I use it A LOT. But I almost never go over my minutes because I mainly use it for family who are all SPRINT users. Since my sons live in Michigan and I live in Oregon the free sprint-to-sprint comes in very handy. I do still have a regular land line phone as well, although every month when I pay double phone bills I wonder why.

When I was in Santa Fe recently I was impressed by the fact they have a city ordinance banning use of hand held cell phones while driving. I admit I do talk on the phone while driving. Not terribly responsible of me, now is it?

At least I don't put on mascara while driving, which I witnessed someone doing recently. But then, I don't put on mascara ever except for hot dates and job interviews....but I digress.

2. Laptops

I LOVE the freedom my wireless laptop gives me. I take it with me all over the place. Gives me access to geocache coordinates, blogdom, and my online classes. Also when beloved and I are traveling together it gives me a quiet way to amuse myself in the middle of the night when he's sleeping and I'm up with insomnia.

3. Blackberrys

Don't have one. Don't particularly want one.

4. Debit cards

ABSOLUTELY! I almost never go to banks anymore. My husband and I both have direct deposit of our pay checks. I pay most my bills online. Then when I need cash I just get extra back at the grocery store. I seldom ever carry more than $20 with me, if that--don't need to. My trusty debit card gives me freedom to do most transactions quick and easy AND keeps a record of it.

5. Caller ID

Don't have it, don't want it. Unlike Kelly, I DO answer my phone. If it is someone I don't want to talk to I say so and hang up. Otherwise it is a nice surprise.

Actually we do get LOTS of hang ups on our answering machine that I have NO IDEA who is generating. But I can live with the mystery.

6. DVDs

Nifty little storage units for media. However, they are just one more in a long list...I'm sure these too will go the way of the 8 track before we know it.

7. Lithium rechargeable batteries

I like rechargeable batteries. They're neat. What else to say?

8. IPods

I don't own one yet but this is on my current wish list. Having music at my fingertips would be way cool, but even more than that is my desire to have access to the many educational podcasts or others, such as the ones my pal Papa Herman just let me know about, a three part series regarding Fr. Seraphim Rose featuring interviews with Abbot Gerasim and Fr.
Damascene. Granted, I can listen to these from my computer. But I like the notion of having it mobile.


9. Pay at the pump

This is certainly useful for some folks, but since there is a STATE LAW in Oregon that we cannot pump our own gas it really doesn't enter my radar. I will be doing business with a human being regardless of what sort of technology they have on the pump.

10. Lettuce in a bag

While I have eaten bag-o-salad on occasion I'm MUCH rather make my own, and generally do.

11. Digital cameras

Love 'em. Just wish I could find the lost power charging cord to mine!

12. Doppler radar

Never gave this one much thought. Of course, back when I lived in the Tornado zone of the Midwest it was a different story!

13. Flat-panel TVs

Would be wasted on me. I watch very little TV. I do love my flat panel computer screen.

14. Electronic tolls

I was flabbergasted by tolls when I first moved to Ohio. What do you mean I have to pay money to drive on this road?? But I must say the tollways were the BEST equipped for dealing with snow removal and almost never had pot holes, which is a lot more than I can say for the general freeway system back there. Sure it stinks to have to fork over the cash, but like a lot of other things, we get what we pay for. Seems to me having some sort of electronic debit system would be a lot more convenient that scrounging for quarters.

15. PowerPoint

Really? I'm not so sure how that one made the list. I'm currently involved in a project that has me creating presentations in PowerPoint and then converting them to Flash files. So I think of PowerPoint the same way I do flour and yeast when I'm baking bread - it's an essential ingredient, but not the end product. No matter what Al Goremay think, there are slicker ways to do things

16. Microwave popcorn

I'm not a big popcorn fan, but my beloved treasures his stash of this.

17. High tech footwear

I'm just darn grateful my jock son with the size 15 feet is grown up and emancipated so I will never have to pay for these again.

18. Online stock trading

Never have, don't expect to.

19. Big Bertha golf clubs

See answer above in #18

20. Disposable contact lenses

I am the poster child for Lasik. One of the best investments I ever made.

21. StairMaster

Exercise equipment is one of the most frequently discarded/resold purchases there are. Most of these end up gathering dust.

22. Tivo

Although I don't have it and don't want it and would never pay for it, I CAN see the merit of being able to have what few TV programs I DO like available to watch whenever I care to see them and being able to fast forward through the commercials.

23. Purell

In one of my anthropology classes many moons ago we talked about a study involving two remote villages in Africa that had similar resources, similar customs, yet RADICALLY different mortality rates. What the anthropologists finally figured out was the key difference was that the village with the LOW mortality rate had a case of soap that had been left behind by some missionaries who taught them all to wash their hands. The other group had no soap, nor any training in hygiene practice. It make the difference of who lived and who died. (Particularly since the same people who prepared bodies for burial were preparing food.) Yea, I guess this is important.

24. Home satellite TV
We have dish network so my husband can watch all those hunting /fishing shows he likes so much and I can get BYU TV for conferences, education week and the like. So it has its merits. For the most part however, scrolling through the 100+ channels just means it takes twice as long to find out there is mostly crap on.


25. Karaoke

I know there is a whole social phenomena wrapped up in this, but I am a humanitarian so I don't sing in public.


I also appreciate Kelly's other remarks:

"What about widespread GPS technology? Or the friggin' World Wide Web? Yeah, the bones of the Internet existed before 1982, but not the Web. And I'd cite digital visual effects in movies. Lots of people complain about rampant CGI in movies, but frankly, the crap-to-goodness ratio back in the days when effects were models and matte paintings probably wasn't any less than it is now."

Thoughts?

As for things that have DIRECTLY impacted MY life?

(CAUTION! All male readers may want to stop right here....)

I'm grateful for tampons, control top panty hose, good moisturizer, and my home foot spa!)

I've been Tagged!

Jaquandor tagged me with the Meme of Four...with a slight twist. He has added a new question at the end and has instructed each person who gets this to do the same. It will be interesting to see two things: a) how long it eventually gets as it passes around with each person adding to it... b) how divergent the various versions become since different people will be adding unique questions of their own. Maybe once it grows some and takes on a new flavor it will come back to me and I'll get a chance to try again? Who knows?

Anyway, here goes:

Four jobs I've had in my life:

1. Factory worker making CB antennas. WORST job of my life. I was not cut out for factory work. This was even worse than cruddy restaurant jobs of my youth or the brief stint I spent at telemarketing. It was just brain numbing awful.

2. Group facilitator in a women's prison. I spent one summer working as a private consultant in Scott Correctional Facility in Plymouth, Michigan. I worked with a program that was looking for ways to strengthen family ties between the women inmates and their children. I went in every Saturday and ran group sessions with the moms and their kids. We did craft projects and played games, talked about feelings and sang songs. It was an interesting gig that gave me a completely different perspective on what makes "good people" and "bad people." The kindest, most compassionate mother I ever knew was someone I met in that program. She adored her daughter and was very tender with her. Yet she was in prison for having murdered her husband, drained his blood and drinking a cocktail made of it. HMMMM.

3. Direct Care Worker / Crisis Intervention Specialist - again, this was back in Michigan. I worked in various capacities with community mental health for a number of years. When I worked in Van Buren county I floated between 3 different houses; One was a program for adolescent girls (everything from eating disorders to suicidal depression to one girl with multiple personality disorder), one was for men with long term mental illness (mostly schizophrenia, bipolar disorder and a few other garden variety psychosis)and one was a co-ed program more geared to people who were having reactive problems short term (crisis due to losing a job, an ugly divorce, or general life melt down.) I met LOTS of interesting people at that job and came to the conclusion I needed a score card to tell who was "well" and who was "nutty" cause some of the staff made less sense that some of the clients. When I moved over to the program in Kalamazoo County there were some similarities but I had more responsibility. By that time I was passing meds and running groups and helping design the treatment plans rather than just carrying them out. I still have very strong memories of some of those clients and wonder how they are doing now.

4. Teacher - this is what I was born to do. In addition to my standard online work teaching Sociology and Sociology of the Family, I am currently teaching a Face-2-Face class called "Academic Planning". It's basically a "what you want to be when you grow up" kind of class. Students take different personality tests and learning style tests, etc and then we talk about how you decide which program would be better for you. We talk about goal setting and values clarification and how to overcome barriers. But it is most definitely NOT a lecture based class of me up at the front of the room being a talking head. We do lots of interactive exercises and introspective small group work assignments that are really fun to pull together. When I'm in the zone with a class I feel like all the planets have lined up and I know I am doing what God created me to do.


Four countries I have been to:

1. Egypt
2. Fiji
3. Costa Rica
4. Canada

But perhaps more interesting would be four countries I WANT to go to! Those would be India, Italy, Indonesia and Ireland. All "I" countries. Not sure why, but I just want to.

Four places I'd rather be right now:

Actually I liked Jaquandor's ideas on this one...But on this lazy Saturday morning I truly am RIGHT where I want to be. In my own house with no obligation to be anywhere else. If you were to ask me four things I'd like to do sometime I could come up with all sorts of answers, most of them having to do with being outside in nature in beautiful places. But since the question asks where I'd rather be I say nowhere. I'm staying right here.


Four foods I like to eat:
This is a stupid question, as far as I am concerned. I like to eat anything I didn't have to cook.

I'm pretty easy to please. So I'm going to spin it a bit differently and say four people I'd like to eat a meal with!

1. Condoleeza Rice
2. Anias Nin
3. Steven Hawkings
4. Isaac Pearlman


Four personal heroes, past or present:

THAT is a hard question for me because context is everything....there are so many I could name:

SPIRITUAL heroes would include Nephi, Mosiah, King Benjamin, Eliza Snow, Chieko Okasaki, Gordon B. Hinkley

SOCIOLOGY heroes would include George Herbert Mead and W.I. Thomas

FAMILY heroes would include John Lucus Vischer Thomas and William Brewster

WRITERS that I tremendously admire could be a rather lengthy list

SOCIAL ACTIVISTS would be a whole other group...

hmmmm I feel a whole new post coming on about heroes - what criteria do we use to determine who we most admire?

Now, for my new question....

What ONE thing would you change if you could change the world? That should bring up a few interesting answers.

I'd wipe out loneliness.

If I could change one thing about the world it would not be to end all wars, stop global warming or even eradicate poverty. It would be to find a way to let every single person to feel valued and a deep sense of belonging. Can you imagine what the world would be like if every person everywhere had that?

I suspect there would be an immediate drop in substance abuse, domestic violence, vandalism and all sorts of crime. I believe people who feel confidant and a sense of connection to others would behave very differently than those who do not. Yes, there is much suffering in the world from so many other ills. But if I had the power to do it, I'd wipe out loneliness. Then, once we had that dreaded scourge cured, I think people would get way more creative and powerful and have the energy they needed to tackle the rest.

I wouldn't cure cancer. Dealing with physical illness can be ugly and difficult. Yet I've seen so many people transcend their pain to experience joy and love even in the most brutal of circumstances. But I believe one of the greatest tragedies in the world is that there are so many people dealing with a deep sense of disconnection from all others, that bereft sense of apartness, not belonging, forever unappreciated, un-heard. Too many feel that loneliness even when surrounded by people. It robs them of their capacity to flourish and snuffs out joy at a very basic level. From a nagging sadness of having something missing to a wrenching sorrow that taps all strength, loneliness is an ache in the world I wish I could assuage.

(ok, ok , I know these meme things are generally for short off the top of the head answers, but what can I say? Introspective ramble is what I do.)

So who will I tag next? HMMM....

I think I'll pass this on to

JULIANA just because she hasn't blogged anything at all since way back in March and I will hope maybe this will prompt her to rejoin the blogging world. I miss her words!

Next I'll pass it to Paula Spurr over at I Remember Actually I would be a bit surprised if she decides to do this, since it's a bit far flung from her usual reminiscing...but I'll give it to her just the same.

Of course I will include the Rev Dr. Kate from Meditations from the Messy Middle of Things

and for my last nomination I tag Angela over at SciFiChick - a blog I've just recently started reading. She doesn't know I exist so won't see this, and may not care for this sort of nonsense...but I'll send her an e-mail and see if she wants to play.

100 BOOKS

As an avid book junkie, I found this list intriguing...
It's a list 0f 100 books. I picked it up over at Josi Kilpack's blog.

Directions are thus: Copy the whole list to YOUR blog.
* Bold the ones you’ve read
* Italicize the ones you want to read
* Leave blank the ones that you aren’t interested in
* Highlight those you haven't heard of.
**Put a couple of astericks by the ones you recommend.

And of course - because I am a blabbermouth (or is it blabber finger when typing?) I will add a few vagrant comments along the way:

So to begin....
1. The DaVinci Code (Dan Brown) (I enjoyed this tremdendously but didn't take it all that seriously. Come on, it's a NOVEL.)
2. Pride and Prejudice (Jane Austen)
3. To Kill A Mockingbird (Harper Lee) **
4. Gone With The Wind (Margaret Mitchell)
5. The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (Tolkien)
6. The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring (Tolkien)
7. The Lord of the Rings: Two Towers (Tolkien)
8. Anne of Green Gables (L.M. Montgomery)
9. Outlander (Diana Gabaldon)
10. A Fine Balance (Rohinton Mistry)
11. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (Rowling)
12. Angels and Demons (Dan Brown)
13. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (Rowling)
14. A Prayer for Owen Meany (John Irving) **
15. Memoirs of a Geisha (Arthur Golden)** I LOVED this book. Movie was pretty good, but the book absolutely captivated me.
16. Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone (Rowling)
17. Fall on Your Knees(Ann-Marie MacDonald)
18. The Stand (Stephen King)
19. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (Rowling)
20. Jane Eyre (Charlotte Bronte)
21. The Hobbit (Tolkien)
22. The Catcher in the Rye (J.D. Salinger)
23. Little Women (Louisa May Alcott)
24. The Lovely Bones (Alice Sebold)
25. Life of Pi (Yann Martel)
26. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (Douglas Adams) (I always wanted one of those translater fish you could put in your ear so you could understand any language..way cool!)
27. Wuthering Heights (Emily Bronte)
28. The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (C. S. Lewis)
29. East of Eden (John Steinbeck)
30. Tuesdays with Morrie (Mitch Albom)
31. Dune (Frank Herbert)
32. The Notebook (Nicholas Sparks)
33. Atlas Shrugged (Ayn Rand) (this is on my bookshelf, just haven't read it yet.)
34. 1984 (Orwell)
35. The Mists of Avalon (Marion Zimmer Bradley)
36. The Pillars of Earth (Ken Follett)
37. The Power of One(Bryce Courtenay)
38. I Know This Much is True(Wally Lamb)
39. The Red Tent (Anita Diamant) *** LOVED IT~
40. The Alchemist(Paulo Coelho)
41. The Clan of the Cave Bear (Jean M. Auel)
42. The Kite Runner (Khaled Hosseini)
43. Confessions of a Shopaholic (Sophie Kinsella)
44. The Five People You Meet In Heaven (Mitch Albom)
45. The Bible (God, with some help from his friends)**
46. Anna Karenina (Tolstoy)
47. The Count of Monte Cristo (Alexandre Dumas)
48. Angela’s Ashes (Frank McCourt) (too grim for my tastes.)
49. The Grapes of Wrath (John Steinbeck)
50. She’s Come Undone (Wally Lamb)
51. The Poisonwood Bible (Barbara Kingsolver) **
52. A Tale of Two Cities (Dickens)
53. Ender’s Game (Orson Scott Card)
54. Great Expectations (Dickens)
55. The Great Gatsby (Fitzgerald)
56. The Stone Angel (Margaret Laurence)
57. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (Rowling)
58. The Thorn Birds (Colleen McCullough)
59. The Handmaid's Tale (Margaret Atwood) ** POWERFUL!
60. The Time Traveller’s Wife (Audrew Niffenegger)
61. Crime and Punishment (Fyodor Dostoyevsky)
62. The Fountainhead(Ayn Rand)
63. War and Peace (Tolstoy)
64. Interview With The Vampire (Anne Rice)
65. Fifth Business (Robertson Davis)
66. One Hundred Years Of Solitude (Gabriel Garcia Marquez)
67. The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants (Ann Brashares)
68. Catch-22 (Joseph Heller)
69. Les Miserables (Hugo)
70. The Little Prince (Antoine de Saint-Exupery)
71. Bridget Jones’ Diary (Fielding)
72. Love in the Time of Cholera(Marquez)
73. Shogun (James Clavell)
74. The English Patient (Michael Ondaatje)
75. The Secret Garden (Frances Hodgson Burnett)
76. The Summer Tree(Guy Gavriel Kay)
77. A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (Betty Smith)
78. The World According to Garp (John Irving) (This may be the ONLY Irving book I haven't read)
79. The Diviners (Margaret Laurence)
80. Charlotte's Web (E.B. White)
81. Not Wanted On The Voyage (Timothy Findley)
82. Of Mice And Men (Steinbeck)**( Sad tale, but lovely prose.)
83. Rebecca (Daphne DuMaurier)
84. Wizard’s First Rule (Terry Goodkind)
85. Emma (Jane Austen)
86. Watership Down(Richard Adams)
87. Brave New World (Aldous Huxley)
88. The Stone Diaries(Carol Shields)
89. Blindness (Jose Saramago)
90. Kane and Abel (Jeffrey Archer)
91. In The Skin Of A Lion (Ondaatje)
92. Lord of the Flies (Golding) I don't care about the great language - I HATED this book. Too mean.
93. The Good Earth (Pearl S. Buck)(another on my shelf waiting)
94. The Secret Life of Bees (Sue Monk Kidd)
95. The Bourne Identity (Robert Ludlum)
96. The Outsiders (S.E. Hinton)
97. White Oleander (Janet Fitch) (Book was MUCH better than the movie.)
98. A Woman of Substance (Barbara Taylor Bradford)
99. The Celestine Prophecy (James Redfield)
100. Ulysses (James Joyce)

I must add I truly have no interest in any of the Harry Potter books... I started the first one and just couldn't get into it. I wanted to read them to be able to talk about 'em with my grandkids, but I just couldn't go there. The Tolkein trilogy is an old favorite from my high school days, and I've been back through them once or twice as an adult. But ya either like that fantasy world of middle earth or you don't. I used to want to be Goldberry...married to Tom Bombadil. Seemed like a life I could go for...

There are gobs of books that for one reason or another did not make this list that I wish had...but still, it was fun to go through and remember some tales I've read and compare notes with others. How about you?

Homemaking Meme

I picked up this Meme of domestic questions in alphabetical order over at Mimi's Bigger than a Breadbox blog...I thought it was sort of interesting so I decided to give it a go (with some minor adaptations).


A is for APRONS
Do you wear one?

YES. I have four or five folded on the shelf in my pantry. My favorite one is a bright blue paisly full body apron that my son made for me in home-ec class during fifth or sixth grade. Of course, I grew up in a world where boys took shop and girls took home ec, but he came of age at a time where the both genders were equally welcome in either class. I also used to have a really cool plastic pie server that he made in shop, (I guess learning how to cut and bend the acrylic was pretty cool) but it got left at a cub scout pot luck many years ago. I still miss it.

B is for BAKING
What is your favorite thing to bake?

My husband makes awesome applesauce cookies. He also makes great pies. I don't bake. In fact, I'd live on bag-o-salad and canned soup if weren't married to such a good cook. He rules the kitchen.


C is for CLOTHESLINE
Do you use one?

Nope - I have a gas dryer. I did have a clothesline for a while in Arizona and also in Ohio. Maybe in Michigan? I love the smell of sheets taken fresh from a line. But the convenience of the drying definitely wins for me.


D is for DONUTS
Have you ever made them?

It has been MANY years - but yes; My husband has fond memories of the donuts his mom used to make when he was a little kid - usually whenever they butchered a pig and were rendering the lard. Makes my arteries feel thick just thinking about it, but from his accounts they were mighty yummy! These days if we want a sweet treat we stick to tapioca pudding.


E is for EVERY DAY
What one homemaking thing you do every day--

This implies consistency. I am probably the least consistent person I know. I go through binges where I am determined to make my bed every single morning when I get up. And then after a couple weeks I don't. I have periods where I wipe down all the counters every single evening and sweep floors so it will be tidy when I get up the next day. And then I don't. I never let things get truly out-of-hand to the point of living in squalor, but I admit that there are a lot of tasks that I am all too willing to skip for a day..or two....or maybe three? Of course, in my defense, it's just my husband and I here without other household polluters, so we generally don't make that much mess.

F is for FREEZER
Do you have a separate deep freeze?

Yes. Actually we have two - one upright in the pantry and then a big chest freezer out in the garage. Also I have one of those cool refrigerators with a BIG freezer compartment at the BOTTOM so it's not in the way when I open the main door of the frige. Ya know, while I'm thinking of what's in my freezer...I really do need to get some of that stuff cleaned out from the outside one. I think we still have some salmon and halibut left over from when we went fishing in Alaska and that was over a year ago. HMMMM.

The weird thing about the outside freezer is it occasionally has dead animal carcasses in it. EWE!!! Kinda gross, but my husband does taxidermy as a hobby. He's quite good at it, I just think it is very, VERY strange for anyone to want to decorate their homes with the stuffed heads or full bodies of dead fish or animals. It's pretty creepy when I go looking for a pot roast and pull out a dead pheasant or woodchuck or some other critter waiting to be stuffed.

In the family room (read husband's TV/game room) is the only place these dead things are allowed to appear in our household. They sorta give me the heebie jeebies. He has a deer, an antelope, a javelina, several birds and some fish. I tease him that on resurrection morning they are all going to leap from the walls and give him what for.

G is for GARBAGE DISPOSAL
Do you have one?

Yep. I have this morbid fear of getting my hand stuck in it. I'm not sure why.

H is for HANDBOOK
What is your favorite homemaking resource?

I have a whole stack of cook books and how to books and such....I generally ignore them all. I do really love my garden books though, and love peering through them this time of year while I plan out what I'll plant in the spring.

I is for IRONING
Love it or hate it?

Don't do it. Really. I own an iron. But I'm not sure where it is. I will iron a few specific pieces for hot dates or job interviews. The rest of the time I live with what I get by hanging things up promplty when they come out of the dryer. I've been known to re-wash an entire load that sat in the dryer too long and got crumpled rather than iron them. NOT my thing.


J is for JUNK DRAWER
Where is it?

Um, this question is way to singular. For my house, it shoud read "where are they?"
One in the kitchen. One in the garage. Don't even ask about the junk shelf in my office closet. It's all good stuff, and just sort of random that doesn't belong anywhere else.

I just looked at the kitchen one. Wow. THAT's where my leatherman tool went. Whew! I had wondered.


K is for KITCHEN
How is yours decorated?

I have a long wood shelf along one wall with various things on it...Russian nested doll, antique jar full of old marbles, old glass insulators, antique flat irons, etc. Along the top of my cupboards there are nutcracker men, a model of the Mayflower, some fancy vases and various pretties. The walls are painted a light beige with white trim and we have cream colored ceramic tile - pale blue counter tops. It's a happy kitchen. (made all the happier because of my beloved does most the cooking!)


L is for LOVE
What is your favorite part of homemaking?

Relationship building. The house maintenance part is stuff that I do, but it's no life mission or anything. I don't despise it, I don't glory in it. It's just part of the process. I've lived in tiny simple houses and lived in big elaborate houses. The one we have right now is unquestionably way bigger than we need for just the two of us, but we both enjoy it a lot. I love the cozy feeling of security it provides. But it's just a house. I'd miss it, but I really could move away from it tomorrow if the right opportunity came up someplace else. When I think of HOME I think of the feeling I get curled up in the crook of my beloved's arm. Where ever that may take me is just fine with me.


M is for MOP
How often do you mop?

I clean the bathrooms, do the vacuuming, other sorts of tasks. Husband usually mops.

N is for NYLONS
Do you wash by hand or in the washing machine.

I had to laugh at all the vehement comments I read by other women about nylons. Actually I don't mind them. Hey, I remember the old garter belt days, and today's panty hose are a far cry more comfortable than those beasties!

I do mine by hand and then hang then over the shower curtain rod to dry. I have LOTS and I wear slacks much of the time, so I only have to do this about once a month.

O is for OVEN
Do you use the window or open the door to check?

I open the door.

P is for PIZZA
What do you put on yours?

We never make pizza. (Although I must admit that after seeing the scrumptious creation that Jacquandor made I've been tempted to try.) (Hey Kelly I can't find link to your pizza creation - where did it go?

Q is for QUIET
What do you do during the day when you get a quiet moment?

Make some noise.


R is for RECIPE CARD BOX
Do you use one?

HAVE one. USE it is another story....

I've got recipes written on all sorts of odd scraps - envelopes, etc. They are in a fairly neatly stacked pile on top of my recipe books in the cupboard over the stove, with the recipe box on top of them. I use that random pile far more than anything in the box. I think my husband uses the box.


S is for STYLE OF HOUSE
What type of dwelling do you live in?

Big old 2 story with wrap around porch. The guts of the house are over 100 years old, but it has been totally reshaped, remodeled, added onto over the years. It still has the charm of an old fashioned house with good bones, but fortunately all new plumbing and electric and a fairly new roof. I love my house!

T is for TABLECLOTH
Do you use a tablecloth? How about napkins?

We almost always have a tablecloth on. I use cloth napkins about half the time and paper towels when we are being extra casual.


U is for UNDER the KITCHEN SINK
Is yours organized or toxic wasteland?

Mine is rather schizophrenic. On one side it is quite orderly with various cleaning products neatly stacked in a plastic basket. On the other side is a haphazard accumulation of mason jars, bowls too big for the other cupboards, barbecue tools and whatever else I wanted to put away quickly.

V is for VACUUM
How many times per week?

Once for sure, more often only as necessary. This is a task I don't mind at all.


W is for WASH
How many loads of laundry do you do in a week?

Probably 5 or 6. I don't count. I usually do wash on the weekends, sometimes throw in a load during the week if I need to. With just the two of us it's not a big deal.


X is for X
Do you keep a daily list of things to do and cross them off?

No.


Y is for YARD
Who does what?

My husband cuts the grass and will shovel snow on those few rare occasions we actually have snow. He also is in charge of the rototillers ( a big one and a Mantis) so he tills things up every spring. We mutually share the gardening and flowerbeds. We like working together out in the yard. I LOVE leaf raking the first three or four times...But by the time our giant maple trees finally get done I'm just sick of it.


Z is for ZZZZ's
What is your last homemaking task for the day before going to bed?

I like to make sure the counters are wiped down and sink is clear before bed, if I think of it. If I don't, it's not the end of the world.


Ya know....Doing all this has really got me thinking about what sort of homemaker my mother was, and her mother before her.

My grandmother ironed EVERYTHING and was forever preparing big meals. She was never employed outside the home so with the exception of some volunteer work she did in the community her home and family were her whole world. Also, she lived in the same house for over 50 years - so she truly did define herself by that place.

My mother was overwhelmed by raising five rowdy kids so her housekeeping definitely took a backseat to monitoring our shenanigans. When I was younger, the house I grew up in ranged from clutter to squalor. Housework overwhelmed her. Later on after all of us kids had moved out things got somewhat better, but even then she seemed at a loss for how to deal with details of managing her home. Her famous line was "I'll put it in a box and sort it out later". After her death I had the task of dealing with row upon row upon row of floor to ceiling boxes out in the shed behind our house that she never had gotten around to.

As for me - I like things orderly. I keep most of the rooms fairly picked up. But I do not define myself by my role in the house. Part of that is because I also work full time and part of that is because I've moved so much that I no longer think of the place that I live as any serious sort of extension of me. It's just where we are for now.

Interesting how each generation of women in my family has had such a different approach and experience with this role we call homemaking.

More than you want to know

I came across the following Meme over at Jaquandor's blog...

I'm not so full of myself to think anyone actually cares, but it looked amusing so I thought I'd take a crack at these questions just to see what sort of answers I'd come up with for myself:

1) Do you have a crush on somebody?

I Googled the word "Crush" and found all sorts of nonsense, along with a few actually somewhat insightful pieces about. I kind of liked THIS ONE for kids.

I DO well remember crushes of the past and how confusing, deliciously exciting, scary, and embarrassing they could be.

But it has been many years since I've been in that emotional state. I do not have a "crush" at this point. Instead, I have wild, passionate, intense, very serious intimate love. These days my life is blessed with knock me to the ground, weak in the knees, steal away my breath sort of love. Love that will last even if he gets old and sick and I have to change his depends. Love that has carried us through the loss of a child, the loss of a job, the loss of our illusions about many things. I am wild crazy mad in love with this man of mine and it makes every day worth living. He's my world. What more can I say?

2) Do you hate more than 3 people?

I feel moments of contempt for ugly choices people make. But I believe I can honestly say I don't actually hate anyone.

3) How many houses have you lived in?

More than I have fingers and toes. Maybe more than my fingers and toes and yours too. I've moved a lot.

4) Favorite candy bar?

I'm not a big candy bar eater. I like pie. In the face or in the belly, either way it's a nice treat. When I want sweet nibbles I usually go for caramel rice cakes.
Sort of like eating sugared Styrofoam.

(There's no question 5! Anybody want to suggest a Question 5?)

6) Have you ever tripped someone?

Not on purpose. However, I did take cross country skiing for my PE credit in college. I totally collided with another skier, causing a trip to the third power. Trip cubed for sure. She needed knee surgery after. It was ugly.

7) Least favorite school subject?

Math - DEFINITELY.

8) How many pairs of shoes do you own?

Imelda who??? I'll never tell.

9) Do you own a Britney Spears CD?

No, no and HELL NO!

10) Have you ever thrown up in public?

HMMM How honest do I want to get here? I've been clean, sober and striving to follow the path of Christ for about 27 yrs. But back in the day I was known to partake in all manner of mind altering substances for recreational purposes. I vividly recall a night of peyote puking with friends out in my brother's okra patch back when I was young and foolish.

Sometime I may have to blog about my beloved's horrid puke escapade the time he got food poisoning in Boston. It's actually a sort of cool story once you get past the vomit.

11) Name one thing that is always on your mind:

Uh - this one is private.

12) Favorite genre of music?

No single genre. I change tastes with my mood - listening to anything from Rachmaninoff , Billy Holiday, Cat Stevens , Uriah Heep or my husband singing me old Elvis Presley songs in the bathtub. I also really dig Orthodox choirs.

I almost never willingly listen to country and I just don't get opera.

13) What's your sign?

I think the zodiac is silly. My star sign is Libra - but my LIFE sign would probably say something like "work in progress"

14) What time were you born?

Don't know, don't care.

15) Do you like beer?

Yech. There were many vices that were a challenge to give up. This was not one. I still remember pouring half a beer into a potted plant at my first alcohol party because I thought it tasted awful. When I got older I experimented with different brands. Never did acquire a taste for the stuff. Now straight tequila - that was another story.... But nothing of that nature in many, many moons.

16) Have you ever made a prank phone call?

No, but I've received a few.

18) Are you sarcastic?

At times.

19) What are your favorite colors?

I don't much care for orange or yellow but can appreciate just about everything else. My favorite colors in nature are the bright scarlet of sugar maple trees in the fall or the intense green of new leaves on trees. I like the bruised look of the sky right before it rains. I love the many shades of sunset - even when they turn yellow and orange. Thank you God for all the colors.

20) How many watches do you own?
I know I must still have two or three in various drawers of the house somewhere, but I have not actually worn one in months.

21) Summer or winter?

This is too vague. For what? Some stuff summer, some stuff winter. I like living in a place with diverse seasons. I try to appreciate them all, but like most folks have been known to whine some about the extremes on either end.

22) Is anyone in love with you?

Yes, my husband is IN LOVE with me. Yet if you take the "in" away from the question and just start considering who loves me in some fashion or another...I'm still pretty lucky. I feel loved by my siblings, friends, cousins, sons, grandkids, church family....It's a good feeling to know I matter to others. Then of course there's the most significant love of all - I know that I am a child of God and I am loved by Him in a way that is incomprehensible, unconditional, and absolute, even when I least deserve it. That's pretty powerful.

23) Favorite color to wear?

Whatever's clean. Not a huge priority to me. I definitely don't look good in yellow. It makes me look nauseas. I like blue. It goes with my eyes.

24) Pepsi or Sprite?

Actually I'd rather drink root beer or caffeine free Diet Dr. Pepper. But mostly I drink water.

25) What color is your cell phone?

STUPID question, but it's black.

26) Where is your second home?

Heaven.

27) Have you ever slapped someone?

Yes, and I STILL feel bad about it. When my 32 year old son was about 11 or 12 we had an encounter that culminated in me slapping him for using a word I found most incredibly offensive. It was NOT the right response, but just a visceral reaction to hearing that word come out of my child's mouth. I felt dreadful immediately and never did it again.

28) Have you ever had a cavity?

Several. I probably put the family dentist's kids through college.

29) How many lamps are in your bedroom?

Who thinks these things up? Some are really SOOOO pointless.

Three. One on each night stand and then a floor lamp over by the chair where my hubby sits to play the guitar and read his scriptures every night before bed.

30) How many video games do you own?

None. Won't have 'em in the house.

31) What was your first pet?

Don't know about FIRST but probably the most interesting were three squirrel monkeys: Penny, Chico and Jacko.

32) Ever had braces?

Nope, but probably should have. My parents didn't have money, so I was lucky to get all them cavities filled. When my folks used to take the 5 of us to the dentist for back to back appointments we always went in according to birth order. As the middle kid, I always went in third. When my oldest brother would come out and my next brother would go in, brother #1 would spend the whole time I was waiting my turn saying things like "now, I don't want to scare you, but there is going to be a lot of blood and it might hurt so bad you wet your pants. But it is important you don't scream cause that would scare the little kids. So be sure you stay quiet, ok?" Yeah, he was a master of psychological torture....Very cool guy NOW, but then? Marquis de Sade had nothing on my big brother Wayne. No wonder I used to be so phobic of dentists!

33) Do looks matter?

Absolutely, and I make no apology for it. I'm not so shallow as to think that they are the MOST important feature, but they do matter.

34) Do you use chapstick?

Nope, Not chopsicks either.

35) Name 3 teachers from high school:

Suffice it to say that high school was not my finest hour. I bailed out at 16 and went back later for a GED. I have my GED hanging in my office next to my masters degree. Frankly, I'm prouder of the GED.

36) American Eagle or Abercrombie?

Are you kidding? I live in a podunk town with no stores. I'm thrilled if I can drive the 30 miles to the closest JC Penny's or Sears.

37) Are you too forgiving?

Is that possible? At times I'm too gullible. But I don't think we can forgive too much.

38) How many children do you want?

I have two sons who are my biological children, plus three living and one deceased step kids, and eight grandkids.
That's probably plenty. Sometimes I get sad I did not give birth to one more. But it is what it is.

39) Do you own something from Hot Topic?

I don't even know what Hot Topic is. (And no, I didn't just forget to delete Kelly's answer to this. I don't know what it is either).

40) Favorite breakfast meal:

Does cold pizza count? What I eat in the morning varies - depends on how much time I have. Usually I grab a banana and a bagel and call that good. I do like French toast, especially if it as been coated in crunchy granola and the milk/egg batter has a little vanilla and cinnamon put in it. Yum Yum! I like going out for breakfast on lazy weekend mornings. I usually get the typical eggs/bacon/hashbrowns with a biscuit. Love good biscuits!

41) Do you own a gun?

I have an awesome high power squirt gun. My husband has several hunting rifles, so there are guns in the house but I'm not really into them.

42) Ever thought you were in love?

Refer back to question #1

43) When was the last time you cried?

Last Thursday.

44) What did you do 3 nights ago?

Went geocaching with my husband on Saturday in the afternoon then grabbed burgers and fries on the way home. Cheap date, lots of fun.

45) Olive Garden?

Hey, anything I don't have to cook is good with me!

46) Have you ever called your teacher mommy?

This is a way stupid question. No. But then, I rarely called my mother "mommy" either.

47) Have you ever been in a castle?

Yes - in Victoria, BC. It was cool.

48) Nicknames?

Belladonna Piranha

49) Do you know anyone named Bertha?

I have an aunt named Bertha. She goes by Bert.

50) Ever been to Kentucky?

Yep. Explored some cool caves at a place called "Raccoon Mountain".
Also went through it on my way to Nashville one time.

The only states I have not been in are Maine and all those tiny ones clustered up there in New England.

51) Do you own something from Banana Republic?

Nope. Remember, small town NO STORES.

52) Are you thinking about somebody right now?

Do the characters of a book count? I just finished reading the book "Animal Farm" this evening so I am still pondering over it.

53) Ever called somebody Boo?

Only Boo Radley in "To Kill a Mockingbird"

54) Do you smoke?

Not anymore. Gave that up with all those other nasty vices.

55) Do you own a diamond ring?

Yes - my wedding band has three diamonds in it.

56) Are you happy with your life right now?

Most days yes. Some days no. There are of course some specific things about it I might wish were different...But generally I'm pretty grateful for the whole gambit of experiences I get dealt - even the stinky ones as they often turn out to be my greatest teachers.

57) Do you dye your hair?

Yes.

58) Does anyone have a crush on you?

I seriously doubt it!

59) Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts?

I don't drink coffee... But I do love Walla Walla Roastery for other things.

60) What were you doing in May of 1994?

You've got to be kidding me. I had a hard time with the question about what I was doing three nights ago!

62) McDonald's or Wendy's?

Taco Bell (But Wendy's if I had to really limit myself to the other two)

63) Do you like yourself?

Today, yes.


64) Are you closer to your mother or father?

Neither. I was raised by wolves. Both of my biological parents are deceased, but even when they were alive we were not close.


65) Favorite physical feature of the preferred sex?

beard. ( I have a SERIOUS beard fetish....After years of being clean shaven, my husband let his whiskers grow during the last deer hunt. I liked it so much I mailed his fancy expensive razor to our son in Michigan so my beloved would keep the beard.)

66) Are you afraid of the dark?

depends who I get to share it with.

67) Have you ever eaten paste?

No, but when was a really little kid I used to eat my boogers. Sorry, I know that was disgusting, but this quiz is asking some rather odd things so I just thought I'd mention it.

68) Do you own a webcam?

I have one at work but do not own (or want) one of my own.

69) Have you ever stripped?

Every time I take a shower

70) Ever broke a bone?

In my foot. I was hanging up Venetian blinds after washing them and stepped off the bed. Now I just let the darn things get dirty - it's not worth it.

71) Are you religious?

I prefer to think of me as a spiritual person rather than a religious person.
I am actively involved in my church - but my "religious life" has a lot more to do with quiet, private introspection, sorting out of values, and striving to walk my talk.

72) Do you chat on AIM often?

The only AIM I know of is a toothpaste. Oh, my husband says there is also an herbicide called AIM. Other than that I am clueless.

73) Pringles or Lays?

Whatever is handy. Really, I'm not that fussy.

74) Have you ever broken someone's heart?

I've disappointed people plenty, most of all myself.

75) Rugrats or Doug?

Don' know anything about either. If it's TV, I don't watch it much.

76) Full House or The Brady Bunch?

See above

77) Do you like your high school guidance counselor?

My brief time in high school was a nightmare. I didn't like anybody or anything, least of all myself.

78) Has anyone ever called you fat?

A few years ago I was asked if I were pregnant when I wasn't. OUCH.

79) Do you have a birth mark?

Yes - a brown spot on the inside of my left thigh. When I was little I used to think it looked like an ape head. Actually, I have not even noticed it for a long long time. I wonder if it's still there.

80) Do you own a car?

2005 Ford Fiesta

81) Can you cook?

I am blessed with a husband who cooks, so I only VERY RARELY have to do this.
But I can make up a mean pan of chili rejenos when I am in the mood.

84) Money or love?

I've always heard it's just as easy to love a rich man as a poor one.

85) Do you have any scars?

Many, all over my heart. And a few on my body, but none that are all that interesting. Well, maybe the one on my mangled finger from the time I got my hand caught in a cotton gin.

86) What do you want more than anything right now?

For my kids to be happy, productive, healthy men with moral integrity.

87) Do you enjoy scary movies?

Absolutely not. I've had too many REAL scary experiences to enjoy the feeling for entertainment sake.

88) Relationships or one night stands?

25 years of monogamy and going strong.

90) Do you enjoy greasy food?

More than I should, apparently. See question #78

91) Have you seen all the Rocky movies?

I don't think I've ever seen ANY of them all the way through. Just bits and pieces while channel surfing.

92) Do you own a box of crayons?

Yep. The 64 pack. AND the big fat ones. Somewhere around here I think I still have the fluorescent ones. Crayons rock!

93) Who was the last person that said they loved you?

My handsome bearded husband.

94) Who was the last person that made you cry?

my own fear, although it may have been triggered by someone else's remark.

95) Who was the last person that made you laugh?

The question asks for a PERSON so I guess it doesn't count that I just laughed at my Basset Hound's snoring.

I've laughed several times today...It has been a good day. Don't really keep score of when and why. I just take it where I can get it.

97) Who was the last person that called you?

My cousin Gay.

And that's the quiz -- except for the mysterious missing Questions Numbers 5, 17, 61, 82, 83, and 96 that seem to be missing for some reason. Maybe someone cut those out because they didn't like or approve of them? Personally, if that were the case I think they should have cut out a few more. This is a pretty silly quiz!

But for what it is worth - there it is. Now I'm off to bed!