Some Thoughts About Renting...

After having been a home owner for over 25 years, the prospect of rejoining the ranks of renters has my head spinning with ambivalence. Over the next couple weeks I will be moving out of my home of the last six years and into an old farm house my beloved and I have decided to rent. For a lot of different reasons this move makes total sense. We've thought it out and done the math. Logic says go for it, and things seem to be falling into place as we have found someone who wants our house if they can qualify for financing. Still, my emotions are in turmoil about what it will mean to me to go back to renting a home that is not mine.

We've bought houses in Ohio, Michigan, Washington, and Oregon. They were never ours outright, as we always carried substantial mortgages on each one, never living long enough in any one place to get anywhere close to payoff. Still, we bought into the notion of those places being "OURS" because we had total freedom to choose what we did with them. We've painted and wallpapered, knocked out walls and built on new structures. We've landscaped and added water features. We've grown gardens and marked door jams as records of how tall our kids were getting. We've made every house we had HOME by virtue of how we shaped it.

I read in a book on home decorating recently "It is a proven fact that the more we personally participate in something, the more meaningful it becomes. Peter and I painted the inside of our house together, for example, and discovered that when you scrape, sand, and caulk and then prime and paint a surface of wood, you become attached to it the way new parents do with their newborn: You bond together in creating and understanding and appreciation. You take pride in what you do because you know what went into it, and you also feel the exhilaration of shared accomplishments." (from Creating a Beautiful Home by Alexandra Stoddard).

Those words definitely ring true for me. From the beat-up old fixer upper that was the first house we bought together in Ohio that had the horrific colors, fractured plumbing and dead bat in the bathtub, to our current home with it's 100 year old bones and gorgeous light, the projects we've done together on every house have been times we have truly cherished.

Now that we will be living in a rented house with limited options for making changes, we'll have to find different ways to make it feel like home.

Beyond that, I've been giving much thought to what "security" is and how financial commitments to property have defined for me what it meant to be stable and safe.

I am excited by the prospect of having complete freedom to go anywhere we may choose to visit or live over the next 10 years without being tied to any one specific geography. I kind of like the idea of spending six months to a year in a few different places as we explore all over the country before landing to put down roots again. My Gypsy soul eagerly pulls out the maps and fantasizes about spending time in Appalachia or New England or some small beach town or bayou retreat. Now, my husband loves the familiar, so it is highly unlikely we'll get quite that adventurous. But we COULD, and that freedom very much appeals to me.

I like the idea of paring down our possessions and opening up possibilities. I've seen so many friends and family members have to relinquish treasured homes in their later years, either due to failing health or changed finances. I know that if we stayed in our big two story house that eventually we would face that same challenge. I'd much rather let it go now while the move can be entirely on our own terms and of our own choosing.

STILL...the American Dream of owning a home is something I have been deeply socialized to believe in. Somehow "just renting" feels/sounds less stable, less secure, less successful than owning our own home. Why is that? Would I be okay with NOT buying another house? Would I be willing to accept my status as renter as permanent rather than a temporary transition? I'm not sure, but I suspect not. Right now I have ants in my pants and value freedom more than security. But I suspect that eventually that will run its course and we'll find ourselves looking to buy a house again. So we will need to be smart about how we handle our budget to make sure that remains within our reach when the time comes.

For today, however, I don't have to think about buying another house. Today my only challenge is to get ready to move out of this one. A big part of that means deciding what things we keep and what things we get rid of. We're selling our big screen TV, our King sized sleep number bed, our sectional furniture with the double recliners and hide-a-bed, the futon, and a whole lot more. We've given away loads of stuff and no doubt will hand over more to friends and charities. Piece by piece we are letting go of things we have have treasured but no longer choose to keep for one reason or another. Some of the choices are easy and some have had their sting, but overall it really feels good to lighten our load.

I love this link to pictures of HOUSES AROUND THE WORLD. Whether my next house when we are ready to leave the farm will be a sweet little gem of luxury or something very basic and bare...HOW I live is more important than WHERE I live or what I own.

Our capitalist culture is so tangled up in the false believe that our STUFF defines our value.

There is a 20 minute video called The Story of Stuff that serves as a powerful reminder that recreational consumption has its pitfalls.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not entirely renouncing all love of shiny things, I'm not about to take on vows of poverty or willfully choose the life of the ascetics. I do NOT see stark living as being any way morally superior to abundance. But I DO believe my own relationship with the material world is long overdue for a bit of a shake up. I want to be more mindful of the footprint I leave on this planet. This move feels like exactly the right step in that direction.

My heart has done flip flops of being apprehensive, anxious, filled with forboding about what we've taken on. But mostly I feel at peace about the decision.

So I am ready to let go of my hold on what I've defined as SAFE and SECURE and STABLE - being surrounded by a great many material things and locked into our commitment of home ownership. I am ready to embrace a new season of living more simply in a place that will not be my own. What will it take for me to feel AT HOME there? I don't know yet. But I am ready to explore and find out.

Beware of Lookie Loos

We have an appointment to show our house this evening. YIKES. Up until now the idea of selling our house was looming bigger and bigger, but now this feels awfully real. So I've been wiping off counters, plumping up pillows, sprucing up as best as I can. I'm well aware we may need to show it A LOT before we find that magic one who will take it. Still, every person who sees it brings us one step closer to having this house belong to someone else. My emotions are in a tailspin about that.

I LOVE this house. I have lots of misgivings about parting with it. My logical mind knows it's the smart thing to do. Time to downsize, to simplify. But my nesting soul has deep attachment here. This is NOT going to be a fun or easy process, this business of letting go.

We've found a house to rent and will be getting into it as soon as the owners replace the floor coverings. Once I'm no longer living in this house I think I'll be able to be way more objective. Right now, it doesn't feel like real estate. It feels like an extension of my heart. Whose idea was this anyway??

House Pictures

Here's a few more images of the house...mainly because I want to be able to look back at these and remember this place after it's no longer mine. We've lived in this house for six years and have really loved the place. I'll miss it. I know it is just a house - that HOME is something I create within me irrespective of any particular place. Still...so many special memories associated here.

The packing continues...where did I get all this STUFF???



Back View of House



Parlor



Family Room



Living Room

FOR SALE BY OWNER

I've spent the evening filling out the paperwork to list our house for sale. It's not going to be easy to walk away from this place. The house was built in 1892. It has been gutted and completely remodeled so it truly has the best of both worlds - lots of quaint Victorian charm but all the modern amenities.

Here is what my ad says: Historic country charm with many modern updates. Large rooms with 9 foot ceilings. Ceramic tile floors in kitchen and formal dining room - Kitchen has newer oak cabinets, lots of counter space. Glass top range and built in microwave, extra quiet Whirlpool dishwasher. Loads of storage - large pantry off the kitchen, "Harry Potter Room" under the stairs, plus a half basement. All 3 bedrooms have huge walk in closets. Master bedroom is 18' x 20' with vaulted ceiling and a balcony for enjoying quiet mornings. Wrap around porch with large extended deck area perfect for outdoor entertaining. Extensive landscaping with waterfall feature won "Yard of the Month" last year. Entire yard including garden area and porch hanging baskets on timed automatic sprinklers. 24' x 26' two car garage is fully insulated & finished - both doors have automatic openers. Both the garage and 10' x 12' pole barn storage shed have same vinyl siding and paint trim as house.

Athena is a clean, safe, friendly community with a population just over 1,000 people. Brand new library, lovely park with playground and public swimming pool, local grocery and gas station. Located half way between Walla Walla, WA and Pendleton, OR and just 60 miles from Tri-Cities. Enjoy the best of both worlds - live in a quiet rural community yet still be close to shopping, medical care, airport, university, college & community college resources, as well as a wide range of outdoor recreation. (skiing, fishing,boating, and much more.)

So if any of you dear readers know of anyone who might know someone who knows someone who wants to move to Oregon, let them know about it, ok?

Who knows? They say we are all just seven degrees of separation from Kevin Bacon. (I know someone who met him, so I guess I am only two degrees...that makes you THREE degrees from Kevin Bacon.) Maybe with a little blogger networking I can find just the right family to love my house as much as I have.

Hey, stranger things have happened!