Pair - o'- Ducks

Life is full of paradox.
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I had a recent conversation with a dear friend of mine about the challenge of shifting perception away from either/or forced choices about values, actions, and even identity to open up the possibility of being able to embrace a world of both/and. We spoke of the factors that influence us to assuming we must choose one or the other aspect of who we are, how we will live, or what we will believe when in reality the opportunity to embrace it all is right before us. We talked of the difference between hypocrisy (claiming one thing but acting otherwise) and acceptance of valid contradictions, where we might somehow simultaneously BELIEVE or EXPERIENCE things that seem to be polar opposites.
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I guess it was one of those "ya had to be there" sort of conversations...because it really seemed to resonate with meaning for both of us at the time, but I'm at a loss for really explaining either what we said or the impact it had at the time.
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It can feel unsettling to hold firm with both parts of seeming contradictions. Yet those very contradictions often turn out to be my best teachers.
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I'm learning how to be more comfortable with my discomfort, and to let things play out their own music without my having to take control to set boundaries that make me feel safe.

I'm rambling, I know. But there's a kernel of something that matters in here somewhere. I just have to find it, and hold it close to consider for a while.

Paradox

A quote from the book Arctic Dreams by Barry Lopez:

"How is one to live a moral and compassionate existence when one is fully aware of the blood, the horror inherent in life, when one finds darkness not only in one's culture but within oneself? If there is a stage at which an individual life becomes truly adult, it must be when one grasps the irony in its unfolding and accepts responsibility for a life lived in the midst of such paradox. One must live in the middle of contradiction, because if all contradiction were eliminated at once life would collapse. There are simply no answers to some of the great pressing questions. You continue to live them out, making your life a worthy expression of leaning into the light."

I've heard it said that each person's capacity to experience joy is in direct relation to the amount of suffering they have endured. I'm not sure that is true. If it were, would we all go hit ourselves in the head with a hammer just so we could feel so blissful when the pain stopped?