Play On Words

DORMITORY
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION RESULTS
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES LET'S RECOUNT

MOTHER-IN-LAW
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER

SNOOZE ALARMS
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS NO MORE Z'S

A DECIMAL POINT
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

What is it?

In response to my recent posting about the Junk Drawer, Heather from over at Errant Thoughts suggested the following: "Look at the crazy junk drawer as an... um... opportunity? Once in a while pick up one of the things you can't identify and use it as the basis of a creativity exercise in which you imagine what on earth it might be and what it could be used for."

So, combining that with the observation that Jacquandor is having just too much fun with his "Unidentified Earth" series getting his readers to try to identify various places on earth from Google earth Satallite pictures - I decided to let YOU try to figure out what this is!

The item in question is a shiny metal loop with a 2 inch straight piece. I'm ready to throw it away, but fear that as soon as I do THEN we'll figure out that it was some vital piece of something?

I honestly have no idea whatesoever what this thing is or where it came from, so I will not be able to give points for the CORRECT answer. However, surely some of you bloggers out that can come up with a creative one?

Flower Garden

I haven't had much time for writing lately...too busy digging in the yard. I'm loving every minute of it.

I thought I should share some of the joy I'm having doing all this transforming from bare ground to abundance....so go to http://www.procreo.jp/labo/flower_garden.swf and then just click randomly where ever you like.

Happy Gardening!

The DANGER of DHMO

I've been trying to teach my online students how to think critically and evaluate the reliability of what they read. In one of the assignment exercises I use for that purpose I have them go to the website describing research about Dihydrogen Monoxide (DHMO) . After exploring the website they must complete a worksheet telling me the primary uses for DHMO and what the dangers are. Then they rank the website according to how informative, how interesting, and how reliable they find it to be. They rate how concerned they are about it and the overall value of the assignment.

My INTENTION was simply to get the students thinking. I assumed they had heard of the stuff before and were aware of its properties. I assumed wrong. Some of them are now quite worried about the impact that DHMO may have on health and the environment. I've raised all kinds of awareness, it seems.

This is a fairly typical response of those I am getting:

"Yes, I did get some value out of this assignment. I had never heard of DHMO before so it was interesting to learn about it and to be warned of the dangers. I do think it is worth incorportating because the majority of people may not have any idea about it at all. I know I didn't. The thing that was really concerning to me is that it seems to be present in a lot or just about everything we come into contact with on a daily basis. I think it would be very benenficial for others to learn about DHMO as well."

I guess I shouldn't be surprised. After all, while DHMO IS useful as a solvent and cleaning agent, and undoubtedly has many uses in agriculture, it is true people have died from inhaling it, can be seriously burned by the gaseous form, or suffer tissue damage from the solid form of the substance.

DHMO has been deliberately ingested by high performance athletes who believe it may increase their strength and stamina. Those same athletes have been found to secrete the stuff in their urine, through their pours, and even leak it out of their eyes.

DHMO is used extensively in the dairy industry, consequently high levels of it are found in milk. Yep, that stuff we feed to babies and little kids is just chock full of DHMO.

DHMO contributes to the corrosion of metals, is a major component of acid rain, and is often a component of nuclear waste, the stuff is so pervasive in our environment there is just no escaping it. It has been found in every lake, river and stream known to man - even in the oceans.

While there has been some limited study of the long term impact of DHMO, many people just assume that it is safe and show amazingly little concern about how extensively it is used as an additive to all sorts of products.

So I guess I should be glad I can do my part to raise awareness.

What Flower Are You?

Thanks to Mimi for directing me to this:

I am a Snapdragon What Flower Are You?

I don't know what the basis for the selection is...some of the questions seem quite unrelated. However, the summary says:


"Mischief is your middle name, but your first is friend. You are quite the prankster that loves to make other people laugh."

I can live with that.

Out of the Mouths of Babes

I got this list of humorous things kids have said/done from an old friend of mine from high school days. In our hearts we are still girls romping the desert in wild abandon, but we're both grandmothers now so we could share our appreciation for several of these.

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My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He Asked me how old I was, and I told him, "62." He was quiet for a Moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"

*********************************
After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old Slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she Heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience Grew thin. At last she threw a towel around her head and stormed into Their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left The room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was THAT?"

*********************************
A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own child Hood was like: "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods." The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"

*********************************
My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know How you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halos while I Asked, "No, how are we alike?" "You're both old," he replied.

*********************************
A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word Processor. She told him she was writing a story. "What's it about?" he Asked. "I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."

*********************************
I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I Decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it Was. She would tell me, and always she was correct. But it was fun for Me, so I continued. At last she headed for the door, saying sagely, "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these yourself!"

*********************************
Our five-year-old grandson couldn't wait to tell his grandfather about The movie we had watched on television, "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea." The scenes with the submarine and the giant octopus had kept him Wide-eyed. In the middle of the telling, my husband interrupted Mark, "What caused the submarine to sink?" With a look of incredulity Mark Replied, "Grandpa, it was the 20,000 leaks!!"

*********************************
When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the Lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, "It's no use, Grandpa. The mosquitoes are coming After us with flashlights."

*********************************
When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not Sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandma," he advised. "Mine says I'm Four to six."

*********************************
A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, "Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today." The Grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting," she said, "How do you make babies?" "It's Simple," replied the girl. "You just change "y' to 'I and add 'es'"

*********************************
Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a Teacher. The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladderpregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what Pregnant means?" she asked. Sure," said the young boy confidently. "It Means carrying a child."

*********************************
A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids Home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat Of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing The dog's duties. They use him to keep crowds back," said one Youngster. "No", said another, "he's just for good luck." A third Child brought the argument to a close. "They use the dogs", she said Firmly, "to find the fire hydrant."

Limericks Anyone?

Marie has put out a Limerick challenge over on her blog.

I've written a few, but they tend to come out in one of two categories - either so tame they are boring or so bawdy they make me blush so I'm not willing to post 'em.

Any of you word smiths out there up for the challenge?

As a side note, Kudos to Marie for taking up the Kiva cause...looks like she is supporting some fine folk.

Twinkie Madness

I was cleaning out my pantry the other day and found an ancient twinkie way in the back, behind the pasta and legumes. I have no idea how long the thing had been there. Frankly, I don't eat 'em. Anything with a shelf life as long as a twinkie has sorta scares me.

But my beloved has a fondness for the cream filled cakes - he especially likes them as the base for strawberry shortcake. So I'm guessing this was a left over from the last time we had fresh strawberries. Frankly, that has been quite a while.

I was ready to just pitch the nasty thing. My sweetie, however, insisted it was still perfectly good, even if a bit on the smashed side. Afterall, the package was still sealed. He thought it would be wasteful to throw away perfectly good junk food.

We got int a long, convoluted, interesting conversation about comfort food in general, and the sort of mental / emotional associations we have with different types of food.

Twinkies have been around since 1933 and were named after a shoe company. As a major sponsor of the Howdy Doody show in 1950, the spongy little snack cakes became quite popular just around the time my darlin' man was attending grade school and would occassionally get one in his packed lunch on those few rare occassions when he did not go home to eat.

During the 60's when there were huge fears of a nuclear attack, many bomb shelters were built. Twinkies were one of the most popular items to have because it was said that they "stay fresh forever".

Far be it from me to play food police, but honestly, I have a difficult time seeing someone I love eat a twinkie.

This opinion was more or less reinforced when I read the recent article about the ingredients of Twinkies on MSNBC....here's just one brief excerpt:
***
***
To stay fresh on a grocery-store shelf, Twinkies can't contain anything that might spoil, like milk, cream or butter. Once you remove such real ingredients, something has to take their place—and cellulose gum, lecithin and sodium stearoyl lactylate are a good start. Add the fact that industrial quantities of batter have to pump easily through automated tubes into cake molds, and you begin to get the idea. Even so, it can be unsettling to learn just how closely the basic ingredients in processed foods resemble industrial materials. Corn dextrin, a common thickener, is also the glue on postage stamps and envelopes. Ferrous sulfate, the iron supplement in enriched flour and vitamin pills, is used as a disinfectant and weedkiller. Is this cause for concern? Ettlinger says no, though you wouldn't want a diet that consists solely of Twinkies. Ultimately, all food, natural and otherwise, is composed of chemical compounds—and normal ingredients like salt have industrial applications, too. Still, it gives you pause when he describes calcium sulfate, a dough conditioner, as "food-grade plaster of Paris."

Humor in a world of technological communication

I work in an environment where raging politics and conflicting personalities sometimes get tedious to the extreme. There has been some "stuff" going on lately that has had my nerves feeling just a bit ragged.

So I very much appreciated it when an e-mail was sent out to the whole campus with the following notice at the bottom:

IMPORTANT: This email is intended for the use of the individual addressee(s) named above and may contain information that is confidential, privileged or unsuitable for overly sensitive persons with low self-esteem, no sense of humour or irrational metaphysical beliefs. If you are not the intended recipient, any dissemination, distribution or copying of this email is not authorised (either explicitly or implicitly) and constitutes an irritating social faux pas. Unless the word absquatulation has been used in its correct context somewhere other than in this warning, it does not have any legal or grammatical use and may be ignored.
DISCLAIMER: No animals were harmed in the transmission of this email, although the yorkshire terrier next door is living on borrowed time, let me tell you. Those of you with an overwhelming fear of the unknown will be gratified to learn that there is no hidden message revealed by reading this warning backwards, so just ignore that Alert Notice from Microsoft. However, by pouring a complete circle of salt around yourself and your computer you can ensure that no harm befalls you and your pets. If you have received this email in error, please add some nutmeg and egg whites and place it in a warm oven for 40 minutes. Whisk briefly and let it stand for 2 hours before icing.

Gotta love it.... the actual message dealt with something that people are being rather prickly about. This helped keep it all in perspective and gave me a good laugh that was much needed.

Vista Upgrade Advice

I found THIS flow chart to help make the decision of whether or not to upgrade to the new Vista OS absolutely hillarious.

WORDS

I found the following verse somewhat amusing:

When the moon hits your eye Like a big pizza pie
That's amore.

When an eel bites your hand And that's not what you planned
That's a moray.

When our habits are strange And our customs deranged
That's our mores.

When your horse munches straw And the bales total four
That's some more hay.

When Othello's poor wife Gets strangled in strife
That's a Moor, eh?

When a Japanese knight Waves his sword in a fight
That's Samurai.

When your sheep go to graze In a damp marshy place,
That's a moor, eh?


When your boat comes home fine And you tied up her line
That's a moor, eh?

When you ace your last tests Like you did all the rest
That's some more "A"s!

When on Mt. Cook you see An aborigine,
That's a Maori.

A comedian-ham With the name Amsterdam
That's a Morey.

When your chocolate graham Is so full and so crammed
That's a s'more, eh?

When you've had quite enough Of this dumb rhyming stuff
That's "No more!", eh?

Kitty Glamour Shots, Take THREE

This one is for Marie who has an appreciation for cat photos. Did you ever settle on a name for the creature formerly known as Sophie? My personal favorite from the list so far was The Baroness von FuzzyBuns. Doesn't exactly roll off the tongue, but it suits.

Frozen Winter

My kid sister lives in frozen Colorado. Airport is shut down, roads are closed, things are pretty much at a stand still. It reminded me of the above picture...

Tastes Like Chicken!

I was cruising a few blogs this morning and found a comment by Stacy that struck me as funny. Apparently at a party she ate some cactus thinking it was green beans. So that sent me off on a whole tangent of thoughts about odd things I've eaten, or things my kids refused to eat, etc.

What is the strangest thing you have ever eaten?

I've eaten a variety of meats including moose, chinchilla, and cobra.

I remember once I roasted a beef heart. This was many moons ago when I was living in a migrant fruit pickers cabin in Parkdale, Oregon with my first husband. It was just a small two room cabin with a wood stove, table and a bed. Apple crates nailed to the wall for cupboards.... actually I have MANY tales from those days, but I digress.

On this particular occasion I had pulled the roast beef heart out of the wood stove and set it on the table to cool. Then I walked down to the community spigot to haul some water. When I got back, one of my neighbors who I knew very well had stopped in to see us - he'd found the door open and walked right in. He saw this lovely looking roast on the table and just couldn't help himself, so he had sliced off a piece and was savoring it. He was very sheepish to get caught snitching a piece of our dinner. But the hilarious part was the look on his face when I said - "So Michael, how's the beef heart?" He positively turned green.

I'm not sure why eating organs is considered taboo by some even thought they do eat animal flesh. I love liver and onions. My husband, on the other hand, says liver is only good for catfish bait.

But then...he won't eat olives or cucumbers either. Some people just don't know what they are missing.

When my kids were little we had a tradition at Christmas time that every year we would get them some type of food they had never tried before. That wasn't too hard the first 10 years of their lives...we went through anchovies and pomegranate, canned clams and matza balls. But by the time they got into their teens I was running out of things they hadn't tasted. The year Forest, my oldest, was sixteen I gave him pickled pigs feet. At that point he rebelled and said, "Mom, this tradition has got to STOP!" Apparently they were pretty disgusting. Who knew?

The UTAH SONG

I was checking out my blogger stats again to see where people are logging in from, what sort of things bring them here and how long they remain.

I came to two conclusions

1) Some people have WAY too much free time

OR

2) I have got to believe that some people click on, go to make themselves a sandwich or answer the phone or whatever, and then just leave it open unattended.

I mean really, there is just NO WAY I can believe anyone has looked at this blog for over nine hours.

However, another thing I noticed was that I have several people who are logging on from Utah. That makes sense as I know there is a link posted on a couple different LDS women bloggers forums.

So - for all you blog buddies from Utah, or those who know people in Utah,
THIS is for you.

Happy Pie In The Face Day

I just had to share this e-card that I received this morning. Thanks so much Kelly. You definitely brought a smile to my face. I've got some pudding and graham crackers in the pantry. Maybe I'll whip up some yummy coconut cream to celebrate.

Pilgrims in the eyes of a child

Today I got a Thanksgiving letter from my bank which included excerpts of things school children had written about the pilgrims and the first thanksgiving for a class assignment. My ancestor William Brewster would be turning over in his toolbox if he could read these! The source these are attributed to is AOKteacherstuff.com. I looked there but didn't find this... I suspect it was downloaded at some point in the past and has been reproduced over and over. These are truly great.

Stories of the First Thanksgiving and Why We Have It:

STORY 1 (no name given) Once up on a time there was these bunch of people that came across the ocean. It took them a couple of days. They were getting away from someone and came here. After they got here it was a bad winter. They didn't have no idea why they came but knew they couldn't live without friends. They tried to make friends with the Indians. Not many of them liked them because they dressed funny. One Indian helped them learn how to grow food like turkeys and corn. He helped them plant them in the ground. After some of the Pilgrims lived through the cold winter they were glad. They invited some Indians to come eat. They thought it would be one or two but a whole bunch came to eat and they stayed forever. All the Indians scared the Pilgrims but finally they came out to eat because they stayed a long time. The end.

STORY 2 (by Maria) The Pilgrims came across the water. I think it was a big lake or something. After they got here they made friends with the Indians because there wasn't anyone else to make friends with. One day they wanted to have a big dinner. They asked the Indians to come too. A big bunch of them came. The Pilgrims had to fix a lot more food. The Indians didn't know they needed to go home right away. The Pilgrims didn't want to make them mad so the Indians stayed a long time. The Pilgrims went out and chased several turkeys and hams. They cooked corn and beans too. For dessert they cooked a pumpkin in a pie. I don't know why I am writing about the Pilgrims. I am from Mexico and don't think we have Thanksgiving with Pilgrims or Indians. The only thing I don't like about Thanksgiivng is we can't come to school. I like school. Mostly recess and lunch.

STORY 3 (by Joel) The Pilgrims came over on the Plumflower. They came a long way on the ocean. I think the ocean is a big piece of water. They left so they could get away from mean people. The Indians became friends and they asked them to come eat. One or two were suppose to come to eat but several more came with them. The Pilgrim mothers had to go to the store and get more turkeys and corn. They cooked it and the Indians ate it even though they didn't know what it was. We now have turkey every Thanksgiving because the store was out of ham. I wished they had ham instead because I don't like turkey or pumpkins. The End.

Homonyms, Homophones and all that stuff

I was looking back over my previous post and noticed I had misspelled a couple things. The one that caught my eye was LLAMA instead of LAMA. Of course, spell check would not catch that because BOTH are correct spellings, just for very different words. I remember learning to tell them apart like this:

A ONE "L" Lama is a beast:





A TWO "L" Llama is a priest:

And I will bet a Silk Pajama, there is NO Three "L" Lllama!




Yeah, these are the sort of little ditties I learned in my youth to distinguish between HOMONYMS and HOMOPHONES.

My classmates and I used to concoct all sorts of fun nonsense stories about Cece the concert pianist who would compulsively play middle C every time she would see the sea.

Or there was the one about the boy with the neurotic complex who could not bear to see a bear go bare, so he was always trying to put pants on the bear.

Or the hare who had no hair that got it's foot stuck in a lair, was trapped by a man who put the bare hare with no hair into a layer of pie.

Such foolishness.... strange what things I still carry around in the nooks and crannies of my brain. If only there was a delete key for that nonsense, maybe I could make room for the stuff I REALLY want to remember.

I am a Boiled Peanut

What's Your Southern Sign?

Some Southerners are pretty skeptical of horoscopes and the people that read them. If we are to ever fully understand all the star signs and the people they represent, we need symbols that all true Southerners understand: See the list below:

OKRA (Dec 22 - Jan 20): Are tough on the outside but tender on the inside. Okras have tremendous influence. An older Okra can look back over his life and see the seeds of his influence everywhere. You can do something good each day if you try.

CHITLIN (Jan 21 - Feb 19): Chitlins come from humble backgrounds. A Chitlin, however, will make something of himself if he is motivated and has lots of seasoning. In dealing with Chitlins, be careful- they may surprise you. They can erupt like Vesuvius. Chitlins are best with Catfish and Okra.

BOLL WEEVIL (Feb 20 - March 20): You have an overwhelming curiosity. You're unsatisfied with the surface of things, and you feel the need to bore deep into the interior of everything. Needless to say, you are very intense and driven as if you had some inner hunger. You love to stay busy and tend to work too much. Nobody in their right mind is going to marry you, so don't worry about it.

MOON PIE (March 21 - April 20): You're the type that spends a lot of time on the front porch. A cinch to recognize the physical appearance of Moon Pies. Big and round are the key words here. You should marry anybody who you can get remotely interested in the idea. It's not going to be easy. You always have a big smile and are happy. This might be the year to think about aerobics. Maybe not.

POSSUM (April 21 - May 21): When confronted with life's difficulties, possums have a marked tendency to withdraw and develop a don't-bother-me-about-it attitude. Sometimes you become so withdrawn, people actually think you're dead. This strategy is probably not psychologically healthy but seems to work for you. You are a rare breed. Most folks love to watch you work and play. You are a night person and mind your own business.

CRAWFISH (May 22 - June 21): Crawfish is a water sign. If you work in an office, you're hanging around the water cooler. Crawfish prefer the beach to the mountains, the pool to the golf course, and the bathtub to the living room. You tend not to be particularly attractive physically, but you have very, very good heads.

COLLARDS (June 22 - July 23): Collards have a genius for communication. They love to get in the melting pot of life and share their essence with the essence of those around them. Collards make good social workers, psychologists, and baseball managers. As far as your personal life goes, if you are Collards, stay away from Crawfish. It just won't work. Save yourself a lot of heartache.

CATFISH (July 24 - Aug 23): Catfish are traditionalists in matters of the heart, although one's whiskers may cause problems for loved ones. You Catfish are never easy people to understand. You run fast. You work and play hard. Even though you prefer the muddy bottoms to the clear surface of life, you are liked by most. Above all else, Catfish should stay away from Moon Pies.

GRITS (Aug 24 - Sept 23): Your highest aim is to be with others like yourself. You like to huddle together with a big crowd of other Grits. You love to travel though, so maybe you should think about joining a club. Where do you like to go? Anywhere they have cheese, gravy, bacon, butter, or eggs and a good time. If you can go somewhere where they have all these things; that serves you well. You are pure in heart.

BOILED PEANUTS (Sept 24 - Oct 23): You have a passionate desire to help your fellow man. Unfortunately, those who know you best, your friends and loved ones, may find that your personality is much too salty, and their criticism will affect you deeply because you are really much softer than you appear. You should go right ahead and marry anybody you want to because in a certain way, yours is a charmed life. On the road of life, you can be sure that people will always pull over and stop for you.

BUTTER BEAN (Oct 24 - Nov 22): Always invite a Butter Bean to a party because Butter Beans get along well with everybody. You, as a Butter Bean, should be proud. You've grown on the vine of life, and you feel at home no matter what the setting. You can sit next to anybody. However, you, too, shouldn't have anything to do with Moon Pies.

ARMADILLO (Nov 23 - Dec 21): You have a tendency to develop a tough exterior, but you are actually quite gentle and kind inside. A good evening for you--old friends, a fire, some roots, fruit, worms, and insects. You are a throwback. You're not concerned with today's fashions and trends. You're not concerned with anything about today. You're almost prehistoric in your interests and behavior patterns. You probably want to marry another Armadillo, but a Possum is another somewhat kinky mating possibility.

Fried Possum Legs & Rattlesnake Soup

I found an interesting site called the "Roadkill Cafe" that gives a menu for all sorts of found-on-the-asphalt delicacies, as well as some interesting gift items. What made this all the more intriguing for me was that when I tracked the URL back to its point of origin it appears to be a student project from Tarleton State University, which is part of the Texas A & M University system.

I did some creative things when I was a student, but this is certainly a new spin...