Can You Play "Name That Plant"??

IT'S OURS!

After much looking, debating and considering we finally found a house that met all the criteria we had hoped for that was within our budget. There are a few things I wish were different, but all in all, I'm really pleased with our choice.

The house is your basic late '70's 3 bedroom / 2 bath ranch. It's all on one floor so it is something we can comfortably grow old in. At just under 1800 sq feet it is way smaller than what I am used to, but has plenty of space to meet our needs.

The part that makes my heart sing is the yard:





It is truly sacred space that makes my spirit just feel absolutely at peace.
(We'll see if I'm still saying that after long days weeding and trimming all summer, and raking LOTS of leaves in the fall!) Yeah, it's going to take some care. But that's what I WANT. I spend way too much time inside staring at a computer screen. Dirt therapy is what makes me feel balanced, alive, whole. I LIKE working in the yard. This is a yard to really savor.

So one of my first orders of business is to get acquainted with everything...learn what is planted where and familiarize myself with what sort of care the various plants will need.

Some are things I've had in my other yards so I know them well: Bleeding Heart, Columbine, hostas, Allium, Blue Fescue, Ferns, Rhubarb, Periwinkle and lots more.












































But there are also LOTS of plants I'm really not sure what are. In the coming days I'll be out in my yard with various garden books trying to identify them. For those I can't figure out, I'll post pictures and see if YOU know what they are!

I have much to do to get all our stuff moved here from Oregon and then get it sorted out and figure out where things go. Getting settled into a new place always takes a while. But anytime I get overwhelmed with the boxes, or anything else for that matter, you will know where you can find me. I'll be out in the backyard.

Idaho Days

Tomorrow my husband and I will sign papers for the loan on the house we will be buying in Boise. I am in awe of how well things seem to be working out since my move here to Idaho just a few weeks ago.

I'm starting to get a handle on the new job. The first two weeks were filled with angst as I struggled with the learning curve of totally unfamiliar tasks in a totally unfamiliar system. But somehow, magically, in week three it all just clicked and I seemed to find my rhythm.

There were many tears shed when I first parted from my dear husband and I wasn't sure how either one of us would handle living apart for the months it would be before he could join me here. But between weekend visits and talking on cell phone every night and morning, we've managed to stay close.

Now the key piece is falling into place best of all - we found just the right house in a great neighborhood. We like our new ward (church congregation). I'm learning my way around. There have been a few bumps here and there, but for the most part, it has been smoother than I would have ever anticipated.

After MONTHS of worry and struggle and wondering what was going to become of us, it seems we have landed in a very happy space.

I have no doubt there will be new struggles and adversities to face around the corner. After all, that's what life brings. But for right now I feel like I'm living happily ever after. For today, it feels really, really good to be a spud.

SPUDLAND HERE I COME

The serious count down had begun. I leave for Idaho on Saturday. I am starting to get really excited!

One of the things I'm especially pleased about is that my new job will have me travelling all over the whole state. I've got a trip to Couer d'Alene planned for May 17. Then I go for meetings in Pocatello. In the coming months I will have an opportunity to get familiar with all segments of the great potato state.

One of my regrets about the eight years I've spent in Oregon is that there are so many amazing places here I never saw. Most of the time I was too busy working to do a lot of exploring. (Until the last 10 months which I spent in a frantic angst of looking for a job, not out seeing the sights.) When it came time for vacation I went off to places like Egypt, which was WONDERFUL....but I've still never been to Crater Lake. which I have heard is absolutely breathtaking.

So one of my resolutions as I go off to live in Idaho is to really try to take time to get familiar with the whole state. I want to learn some about Idaho State History, the topography of the the region, and other features about living in IDAHO.

Saying goodbye is hard to do

I am absolutely thrilled that I am about to embark on a whole new adventure. I am so ready for this impending move to Idaho. I honestly couldn't be more pleased.

That being said, I'm still struggling with the bittersweet nature of saying goodbye to people and places I care about here.

Yesterday I spent some time at Pioneer Park in Walla Walla, enjoying the majestic trees and the aviary there one last time. I went by St. Siloun church to bid farewell to the bells with many fond memories of friends I have of that congregation. I spent some time hiking up the creek at Harris Park. Then today I went to church at Pendleton 1st Ward one last time.

I could not help but weep at the sight of some of the dear friends I have there. I will miss them tremendously.

I know this move is right for me and I am confident things are moving forward exactly as they are supposed to. But the flip side of that old saying about how every time a door closes a window opens is that as this new window is opening in my life I must accept the closing of a door.

Life is a series of letting go.
Having moved about 28 times in my lifetime I've said more than my share of goodbyes over the years. Somehow, this does not get any easier with practice.

I would have made a lousy nomadic Bedouin.

My hope is that once I get to Spudland I can burrow in deep, like a tick on a dog's back - hold on tight and not let go. My soul is ever so weary of being in transit. I want a place to put down deep roots and call HOME.

But I'm kidding myself if I think anything will ever really be permanent.
We're all strangers traveling through this life. By definition mortality is a temporary sojourn.... so long as I live I suspect I'll always feel a little bit disconnected and homesick. No matter how much I appreciate each stop along the way and no matter how much I come to love the people I meet everywhere I land I've come to accept that at some point there is an inevitable letting go. I know that is as it should be. Still, today it makes me sad.

I HAVE A JOB!!!!

It's official. I have been hired by a University in Idaho to do a job I am very excited about. I'm moving to Spudland. I could not be more thrilled.

MANY thanks to all my pals who have been so incredibly supportive over the last 8 months. I applied for 130 jobs, had about 20 interviews and more up and down rollercoster of hopes and disappointment than I could count.

Yep, I'm definitely doing a Happy Dance now!

Doubting Thomas

I've been giving a lot of thought to a blog post about the apostle Thomas, written by my dear friend Papa Herman, over at In the Process of Weeding Out.

Herman is a member of the Eastern Orthodox church, belonging to the parish at St. Silouan in Walla Walla. In their faith they celebrate Great Lent, Pascha and Holy Week. These are rituals that my own faith does not observe. While we do acknowledge and celebrate the resurrection of Christ, we do not have anything even remotely close to the level of ceremony observed by my Orthodox friends.

I've really appreciated the way I learn from their practices, and how it makes me examine my own beliefs at entirely new levels.

In Orthodoxy, this past Sunday (the first sabbath after Holy Week) is known as St. Thomas Sunday.

The familiar expression "Doubting Thomas" is based on the story of how this apostle of Jesus Christ refused to believe in the resurrection until he had seen evidence of it with his own eyes.

The other disciples therefore said to him, “We have seen the Lord.” So he said to them, “Unless I see in His hands the print of the nails, and put my finger into the print of the nails, and put my hand into His side, I will not believe.” John 20:25

On St. Thomas Sunday there are special readings and songs about this good man and teachings about what we can learn from him. According to the website for St. Nicholas Russian Orthodox Church (in the Dallas, TX area) "The church characterizes St. Thomas' unbelief as "good", because it led to a greater manifestation of the reality of Christ's resurrection in the flesh:"

Herman's blogpost raised the question about when is it a positive thing to express our doubts and uncertainties...giving an opportunity to further growth and when is it a dangerous thing, potentially undermining not only our own testimonies but also those of others?

I HAVE seen cases where people have continually questioned the wisdom of various statements or policies of church leaders and that has led to increasing criticism and eventual apostasy. But in reality, don't we ALL have some doubts and uncertainties? When and how should we be open about those places in our beliefs that we are just not quite so sure? I am reminded of the song "Doubting Thomas" by Nickle Creek that says: "Can I be used to help other's find truth when I'm scared I'll find proof that it's a lie?"

For me, when it comes to matters of faith and how we approach our uncertainties, I think the key is in the attitude with which we express our doubts. If we say "I don't understand this principle and I would like to learn more" that is way different from saying "I don't believe this is true". The former path invites greater dialogue and allows room for the Holy Spirit to witness. The latter closes doors and fosters further turning away.

I try to hold on to the words of 2 Nephi 22: 2 that say:
"Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and not be afraid; for the Lord Jehovah is my strength and my song; he also has become my salvation."

But, like Thomas the apostle, too often there are things I want to believe in 100% that I just don't yet feel completely sure about.

When those times come, perhaps I can learn to explore and lean into my uncertainty with a searching spirit of trust in understanding yet to come rather than feel it a source of failure. For really, the more I think about it, it's those areas where I once felt weak and unsure and then over time developed greater understanding that are most sweet.

I really do believe the scripture in Ether 12:27 that says: "And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them."

What's your worst bad hair day memory?

I need a hair cut. Bad. AND my grey roots are showing. So it's time for me to hit the salon. I have just one problem. FEAR.

Last time I went to get my hair done I had the worst salon experience of my life. The woman who has done my hair for quite some time left the business due to some health complications. So, I was forced to try out someone new. BIG MISTAKE.

Can you say orange clown hair?

It was bad. Not just the color, but also the way my stylist responded to the atrocity on my head was not helpful.

Usually my hair is sorta medium brown with some blond highlights. I was getting bored with it. So I told her I wanted just A LITTLE BIT of red mixed in. I made it VERY CLEAR that I did not want red hair. I just wanted the same basic color with a BIT of red mixed in to jazz it up a little. I also said that I did not want burgundy or any fake looking color. I wanted hair that looked like it might actually occur in nature.

So putting my full trust in her skills with chemical concoctions I blissfully zoned out while she mixed up some gook that was painted onto my head, first left to do it's magic just on the roots and then later pulled through on strands all over my head. Then to keep it fun I had a handful of foil highlights added in.

Everything was copacetic, right?

WRONG.

When I finally hit the shampoo bowl the catastrophe was unmasked.

I had about a 2 inch wide STRIPE of orange clown hair color where she had painted my roots and the rest of it was a mousy brown. IT WAS BAD.

She took one look at me and said "Well, I wonder why it did that?" HUH???

When I got to the mirror I freaked. There was no stinking way I was walking out the door looking like that. FIX THIS I insisted. So she put something else on. It did NOT tone down the orange clown hair but did make the rest of my hair look worse. After that I was in tears. Finally the owner of the salon came out with a broad smile chattering something about how this was a wonderful "teaching opportunity" for her new stylist. And I got my hair dyed a THIRD TIME to rectify the mess that had been made. By the time all was said and done it actually came out ok (after over three hours at the salon blowing my whole morning and way too much chemical processing...ugh!)

You can bet your bottom dollar I will NOT be going to that salon again.

But the problem is, now I'm chicken to go anywhere else. I really need to get my hair done. I have walked into and walked out of two different places. I have made and cancelled appointments. I just don't feel any trust about letting someone new put their hands on my hair. SHUDDER!

I've got to bite the bullet and take a leap of faith. I know this. Still, it makes me really nervous now to even think about what may happen next time I'm in the chair.

That got me to thinking about how we can sometimes let fear hold us back from taking steps that are necessary in other areas of our lives. Clearly, a lot of things require a certain amount of risk. We would never learn a new skill or take a chance on love if we were not willing to reach out into the unknown at some point.

I have a card someone gave me back in my college days that says: "The most unfortunate thing that happens to a person who fears failure is that he limits himself by becoming afraid to try anything new. GIVE YOURSELF A CHANCE."

Especially for someone who has had their heart broken, had a business fail, a dream crushed or any kind of major disappointment in life it can feel incredibly dangerous to put yourself back into the line of fire again. But there is one thing I absolutely know for sure. Success in life is not about how many times or how far you fall. It's about how consistently we are willing to get back up.

I'm getting my hair done. And I'm going to take a few chances in some other things.
If things don't work out right away the way I might like them too, I'll just go right on trying.

I'm going to hold onto the words of my hero Thomas Edison who said "Many of life's failures are experienced by people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up."

More is not always better

Its that time again...time to be thinking about our garden and planning out what we will grow this year.

Last year we totally overdid it with squash plants. We put in 4 each of zucchini squash, yellow summer squash, spaghetti squash, and butternut squash. They took over. We had more squash than we knew what to do with. We gave away boxes and barrels of the darn things, frozen them and ate them and STILL have a big box of them sitting in the basement.

We had WAY too much squash.



This year I'm trying to plan things a bit better. There will only be TWO plants each of zucchini and yellow squash (OK, maybe three) and none of the others. This year I'll be branching out to include new things I've never grown before: okra, cabbage, and broccoli along with the usual standbys of tomatoes, cucumbers and peppers. I also hope to grow a few melons.

But the sad truth is, I'm a fair weather gardener. I LOVE getting my hands in the dirt in early spring. I enjoy the smell of the fresh tilled earth. I get great joy from sorting out all my little seed packets and dreaming of my future harvest bounty.

When those first plantings start to pop up out of the ground in hopeful new baby plants it makes me want to do a happy dance.


However, I know me. I'm not likely to be willing to drag hoses to water in the summer heat and come July I could care less about weeding or being vigilant about potential bugs.

So I'm lucky my husband is creative and willing to put the time in to set up a fairly low maintenance garden spot for me each year. I'll have an automatic watering system set on a timer. My plants will be nestled safely in the protection of landscape fabric that will keep out most of the weeds. As for bugs? So far I've just been plain lucky. I have not sprayed or done any other kind of intervention. Last year's garden grew like gang busters with narry a beetle or slug.

I'm hoping we'll have the same good fortune this year. I really REALLY don't want to put poison on my garden. But I'm not so committed to organic principles that I'm likely to tolerate insects eating up my plants.

We will have four 50 ft rows this year, expanding from the three we did last summer. Also I will be repeating my hanging tomatoes. There's just nothing like fresh produce straight from the garden. Beyond that, I really enjoy the sense of accomplishment I get from watching things grow, even if we do take more than a few shortcuts. However there will DEFINITELY be less squash. When it comes to my garden I'm trying to really embrace the phrase that says "less is more."

BOOK REVIEW - Cleansing of America

I am one of those people who will cover my eyes during the scary parts of a movie. I eschew situations that fill me with a sense of creepiness or dread. I have a few friends who are willing to pay big bucks for experiences deliberately calculated to scare the snot out of them. (think bungee jumping and other high adrenaline adventures.) Not me. No high flying zip line trips through jungles or forests. No precarious climbs up the side of rock faces. I like to keep my feet firmly upon Terra firma with a solid surety that I am absolutely safe.

So imagine my discomfort as I read through the pages of a book all about the prophecies of the last days on this earth that details with laser sharp precision the sort of travails that will be known immediately prior to the second coming of Jesus Christ. Piece by piece this book gave evidence of how much death, destruction and trauma is going to happen, hitting the righteous and wicked alike. Holy tomatoes, it was not an easy read.

However, as I thought about what I would say in a review of the book “Cleaning of America” the word that kept coming to me over and over as I reflected on what my take away was from this book was COMFORT. Odd, huh?

Here’s the thing…while Dr. W. Cleon Skousen pulls absolutely no punches in detailing what will occur in the last days in sometimes dreadful clarity, he also gave very clear council about how to prepare for and thrive during those turbulent times.

I don’t know about you, but when I read the book of Revelations I get confused more than intimidated. All that figurative language just sort of rattles around in my brain. I've also read various works by different people from different faiths explaining their take on "Prophecies of the Last Days". Most of it leaves me feeling confused as much as spooked. What I liked best about the book Cleansing of America is that even though it deals with some very big and complex topics, the language is absolutely approachable and easy to understand.

Hey, I'm no literary lightweight and having been blessed with a graduate education I have a better than average vocabulary. Nevertheless, when I read things by authors like James Talmage or other heavy hitters of revered gospel works I often come away frustrated more than uplifted because I have to spend so much time looking up words in a dictionary that I lose track of what it is they are trying to say. In sharp contrast, this book is something I could stick with all the way through because it made sense to me. It is FAR from fluff reading. There is real meat here and holds some big ideas that left me pondering for a long, long time. Still, it is presented in a manner that most any reasonbly literate adult could understand, and that appealed to me. (Even the parts that made me want to pull the covers over my eyes.)

While it is not at all light reading, Skousen takes you step by step through things prophets have taught about the last days and then lays out specific real world examples that illustrate how those very things are coming to pass. He ties together a myriad of teachings in a way that makes his message abundantly clear. The opening sections really are pretty scary. But if you stick with it he also lays out how we as a people can hold firm to what we know to be true to get through those hard times to take part in the miracles and blessings that will also be a part of the last days.

The main points I gleaned from this book are these: We are in the winding down times of the great plan of salvation. There is a reason for many of the events that are unfolding in the world now. In the days to come there will be even more precarious and turbulent events. Without question, there will be a great deal of suffering for the righteous and wicked alike. But as we hold fast to the teachings of Jesus Christ and put our full trust in Him, we do NOT need to be afraid. Even when we have to endure tremendous adversity, we will be comforted and blessed. That does not mean we will be rescued from all the bad stuff. Even many of the elect will fall vicitim to what's coming. Let's face it, we ALL will die sooner or later. Some of those deaths will be those of good, righteous people who fall prey to the violence and volatility of both natural and man made catastrophes we know will come.

Still, what this book reminded me in very powerful ways is that how we choose to live during what may be the darkest and most difficult days of human history really does matter. We don't have to just cower in the dark because bad stuff is coming. We can make choices about what we stand up for and how we conduct our lives. We were specifically chosen to be upon the earth at this time to face down these very events. So no matter what tempests may be coming, there is a clear path that will protect us from the chaos in all the ways that really matter. The bottom line for me from this book can be found in Section 38, Verse 30 of the Doctrine and Covenants: “If ye are prepared ye shall not fear..”

Several other bloggers have also written reviews of this book. If you would like to read more about what others have to say on this work you can find the links to their reviews by clicking HERE.

Many thanks to Tristi Pinkston over at Valor Publishing for giving me the privlege of this sneak preview read and an opportunity to review this book. It is scheduled to be released April 1. You can pre-order it now at a discounted price by going HERE.

It is unsettling book, to be sure, but I think a very worth while read.

Unemployment is like Pregnancy because...

No I am NOT pregnant! (Although my shape may suggest otherwise.) For heaven's sake at 52 yrs old at least that is one thing I do NOT have to worry about. The photo is of my beautiful niece Jodi who has since given birth to an absolutely ravishing little girl. But I posted the picture to make a point.

When I was pregnant over 30 yrs ago one of my biggest sources of frustration was that as soon as my tummy started poking out it seemed to make people believe I'd utterly lost my brains. No one ever asked me what sort of books I had read recently or inquired about my opinion on current events. They stopped discussing plays or astronomy or the state of the nation. It seemed that the only kinds of conversation people had with me during those months focused on "how are you feeling?" and "when is your baby due?" Women wanted to touch my belly and/or regale me with stories of their own childbirth experiences. Men got either condescending or uncomfortable. Either way, it was like I was no longer the smart, interesting person I had been before with a multitude of interests. During that time of gestation I socially became a pod person, a vessel for making a new life. Nothing else. Or at least that was how it seemed at the time. I used to get down right cranky about it.

What does that have to do with now? It seems that lately nearly every person I know keeps asking me "How's the job search going?" TRUST ME on this, if I get a job I'll be shouting so loudly it will shake the earth. You will know. But I just can't handle the constant scrutiny about the process. After having applied for 120 different jobs across six states, having had over a dozen serious interviews and all too many very near misses I've had my hopes up and had them dashed too many times to count.

Sometimes I'm very zen about the whole process and truly believe that the universe is unfolding around me exactly as it is meant to. There are days when I feel all the way to my bones that God has a plan for me through all this that I just can't see.

Other times I sink down into a serious funk, feeling very discouraged, disappointed, and concerned about my continued lack of getting a job. I worry. I fret. I wonder what is going to become of my poor pathetic professional career. Especially since I seem to be doing all the right things that professionals tell job seekers they should do and still not getting results it gets frustrating.

But honestly, we are fine. Fortunately for us, my sweet husband has a good job with full benefits. We are essentially out of debt. We have savings in the bank. We've certainly had to cut way back on our discretionary spending since I'm no longer bringing in the big bucks I was when I was working. But we have never once had to go without a single thing we really needed. We do not have to fear the wolf at the door (yet). So I can truly say we have been incredibly fortunate during these many months of uncertainty. Far too many good, honest, hard working people have lost homes, lost confidence, lost so very much through no fault of their own as a result of the shifting economy. I'm very blessed to not be in that boat.

I continue to apply for jobs. I continue to go meet with "experts" and "specialists" who are helping me to refine my approach. I'm still seeking a professional position and not even close to needing to settle for any old survival job. Because we are ok.

Don't get me wrong, I DO appreciate the supportive concern. It's just that when I'm trying to minimize my stress over this prolonged job search by focusing on the OTHER areas of my life that truly are running along smoothly (or at things that I have some power to do something about) to have people keep asking me about the job search just takes me back to the one area in my life where I'm feeling pretty powerless, and that's not fun.

One of the great things about having been poor in the past is I absolutely have the skill sets for living on a very slim budget. I know how to make do. And because we have no major life expenses right now we really can manage living on my husband's income and the meager pittance I earn from teaching a couple online classes.

Still - I do want a job. We work for many reasons besides a pay check. When I reflect back over the track record of all the different jobs I have had over the years it's very evident that I took positions that I could believe made a positive difference. Rather than try to get rich or work my way to the top where I could be all important I tried to DO important things. Being executive director of two different non profits was far less about the fancy title and far more about believing in the missions of those organizations. So that is a part I really miss.

Besides, eventually my husband will retire and then it will be up to me to take on the role of primary bread winner. So hopefully sometime in the not too distant future, I'll find a suitable position in a place we will both feel good about. Clearly the search is on with all the determination I can muster. But until I do land that elusive job that surely is out there somewhere in the universe waiting for me to find it, please give it a rest from asking me what I've applied for lately or how my last interview went. Having to fess up to the growing pile of rejection letters just feels too demoralizing.

The last near miss job that I interviewed for required me to put together a professional portfolio showcasing some of my past accomplishments. I got beat out of the job by someone with more experience, but that process was really good for me. Now when I get discouraged about the search I can flip through the pages of that binder and see solid proof of my talent and skills and be reminded of what I do have to offer. It's a whole lot better that perusing the mountain of "we don't want you" letters.

So if you want a conversation with me, let's talk about the plans for my garden. Let's talk about the high school producton of Les Miserables that I went to see. Let's discuss educational issues. Or we can talk about something that is interesting to you. I'm a pretty good listener. But if you ask me again "How's the job search going?" I'm likely to get a bit prickly. It is a sensitive subject for me right now. So can we just skip it for a while?

There is one BIG exception to all this. If you know of any job leads I could follow up on or even just think of someone who it might be helpful for me to talk to I would very much appreciate the referral. I suspect that networking with others who may have key contacts will be far more useful to my search than constantly reviewing ads. So if you have an idea of something I could follow up on, by all means PLEASE do make the suggestion. It will be most welcome.

Otherwise, if you are simply showing supportive interest or are curious, could we please talk about something else?

QUESTIONS

A couple years ago I wrote a posting about the Empty Nesters Family Home Evening that my husband and I participate in. I mentioned the Questions that I use for helping people write their personal histories.

I just got an email from someone who read that post and was requesting the full set of questions to use for a lesson in her ward. I happily emailed them as an attachment. But I figured what the heck, I might as well post the whole set here in case any one else may want them.

As I told the person making the request, there are several ways to use these questions:

1. I gave the whole set to my father in law. He would write out the answers to 1 or 2 every Sunday afternoon after church as a Sabbath activity. I then typed them all up and now have 32 pages of amazing stories of his life.

2. You can COPY each page on a different brightly colored paper. Then cut the questions into strips with one question on each strip. (You can curl them if you want to get fancy, or just fold them into squares) Put the bright colored strips in a clear jar. Use them at gatherings of family or friends by passing around the jar and having each person pull one out to answer verbally.

3. To write your own personal history, set up a 3 ring loose leaf notebook with 1 page for each of the different questions. When writing your own life story sometimes telling one story gets you thinking about another, but if you keep tangenting in your narrative the history gets confusing. By having them on separate pages you can flip back and forth to write as much or as little about each question. You can always go back to elaborate or edit if you choose. Then you can later shuffle them into whatever order you want (by topic, by time period, etc)

So with that being said - here are the questions. Enjoy! (I still have not written these all out for ME...I guess I better get busy, eh?)



SET 1:

CHILDHOOD

Describe the house you grew up in.
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Describe your yard as a child.
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What toys did you play with as a child?
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What games did you play as a child?
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Were you responsible for household chores? What were they? What did
you like most or least?
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How much was your first allowance? Was it conditional, when did it
start?
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Tell about any pets you had as a child.
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Tell about your neighbors as a child.
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Tell about school ( special teachers, friends, achievements,
activities, or humorous situations).
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Describe a sound from your childhood.
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As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?
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What do you remember about stores when you were a child? Can you
recall shopping with mother?
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Describe the downtown of your childhood.
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Did you take any special lessons a child?
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Do you recall any special summer trips or vacations when you were
growing up?
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What were you afraid of as a child?
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What did you do as a child that got you in the most trouble with your
parents? What did they do?
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Did you ever steal as a child? If so, were you caught? What
happened?
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What is a special smell you remember from your childhood?
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What do you remember about Easter as a child?
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Tell about a fourth of July from your childhood.
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Tell about Halloween as a child.
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Tell about Thanksgivings when you were growing up.
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What do you remember about Christmas as a child?
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Describe getting a Christmas tree as a child.
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YOUTH

What do you remember about yourself as a teenager. What was important
to you?
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Describe a typical school day during your junior high years.
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Describe your favorite dress or a special outfit you wore as a youth.
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Tell about any exciting experiences in scouting or any clubs you were
a member of as a youth.
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Tell about how, when and where you learned to drive.
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Tell about your first crush. What was he or she like?
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Describe the fashions that were popular when you were a youth. What
is popular now?
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If you went to college, describe the experience. If not, tell what
you were doing in your 20's.
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COURTSHIP AND MARRIAGE

Tell about your courtship
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How did you become engaged?
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Tell about your wedding. Where was it? Who was there? Was there a
reception?
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Describe your wedding dress (or wife’s wedding dress).
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What were your fears, expectations, anticipations, etc. about getting
married?
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What convinced you most in your choice of a spouse?
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How did you meet your in-laws? Describe your relationship with them.
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Describe your first home or apartment on your own or when newly married.
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Write a want ad that describes your husband or wife.
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FAMILY

Tell about your Mother. (Describe physically, her personality,
talents, role in your home)
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Describe your father. What was he like physically? What work did he
do? Personality?
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Tell about your parent’s philosophy of raising children, discipline,
rules, etc.
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In what ways are you like your parents and in what ways are you
different?
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Tell about your brothers and sisters.
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Describe your grandparents.
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Describe a night at Grandma’s house.
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Tell about a favorite relative.
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Tell about any ancestors you have heard special stories of.
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Tell about property your family owned.
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Tell about anything you may have inherited from a family member.
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Tell about the birth(s) of your child(ren).
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Tell about each of your children’s names and how they were chosen.
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Describe your relationship(s) with your child(ren).
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Tell about a humorous or clever thing one of your children said.
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Tell about a family crisis and how it was resolved.
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Tell about family feuds and how they were or were not resolved.
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Tell about your feelings toward your grandchildren.
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RELIGION

Tell about religious practices in your home when you were growing up.
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How do you feel about religion now?
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Describe your beliefs about God.
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What is one of your favorite scriptures, and why?
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Tell about influential spiritual/religious leaders you may have met or how a
particular church teacher influenced you.
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If you could meet any spiritual leader (living or dead) who would it be
and why?
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Describe your conversion to the gospel.
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Tell about an experience when you shared the gospel with another
person.
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Tell about an experience when you stood up for what you believed was
right.
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Describe your Sabbath days
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Tell about the first time you went to the temple.
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Tell about a faith promoting experience from your life.
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Record your testimony.
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LIFE EXPERIENCES

Describe your first paying job. What was your salary?
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Tell about the places you have worked.
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Tell your feelings about the work you have done. If you were to start
all over, what work would you choose?
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Describe any sports you have played.
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Were you ever in a theatrical production? Tell about it.
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Do you speak a foreign language? If so, how did you learn? If not
would you like to? Why?
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Have you ever won a contest or a special prize?
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Were you ever in the military? If so, when and where did you serve?
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Describe the influence of wars on your life.
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Where were you on an important day in history?
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Tell about a special trip taken as an adult.
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Tell about some of the changes you’ve seen during your life (technology,
fashion, politics, etc.)
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Tell about tools you have used.
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Describe an invention which impressed you during your life.
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Have you ever tried anything really dangerous? How did it feel?
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Tell about a dramatic experience involving weather.
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Have you ever had a serious injury? Describe how it happened and tell
of your recovery.
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Tell about some special challenge which you were able to overcome.
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Tell about a camping trip you went on.
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Tell about any hobbies or collections you have or have had.
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Tell about a trip to the dentist.
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Tell about the medical care you had while growing up - How does this
compare to today?
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Tell about your first car. What type of car do you have now? What
kind of car would you like?
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Describe a parade you were in or one you saw.
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Tell about animals you raised.
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Tell about a garden you have had.
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Describe the typical groceries you buy today and tell what they cost.
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Describe how travel has changed during your life.
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How do you celebrate Christmas now? Do you have any special
traditions that are meaningful? If so, why?
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Describe how you celebrate other holidays now.
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What was your most embarrassing moment?
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Tell about a favorite fishing experience .
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Tell about a city you have visited.
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Tell about the coldest winter you can remember.
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Tell about any natural disaster you may have experienced,
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Tell about a significant loss you experienced.
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Tell about a funeral you attended.
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Describe a turning point in your life.
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Tell about a special gift which you received.
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Describe a dream you have had.
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Tell about a gift which you gave someone else that you have special
feelings about.
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Tell about the strangest food you ever ate.
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Describe the house where you live now.
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Describe your yard where you live now
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Describe your life today.
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Describe yourself physically.
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Do you have a special talent or skill?
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PERSONAL PHILOSOPHY

How do you feel about politics?
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What kind of music do you like now? Do you recall any special type
of music from childhood?
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What do you think about television? Do you have any favorite shows?
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How do you feel about winning? How do you feel about losing?
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What do you think brings good or bad luck?
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What personality trait do you admire most, and why?
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Tell about your philosophy for handling money.
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What is your greatest joy? Your greatest sorrow?
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What was the best advice you ever got? Did you follow it?
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What is the biggest lesson in life you have found to be true?
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How do you feel about reading? What did you read as a child? What do you read
now?
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What would you like to be doing five years from now? Ten years from
now?
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Describe your attitudes towards death.
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If you could meet any movie star you wanted, who would it be and why?
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If you could meet any political leader you wanted, who would it be and
why?
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What goals do you have at this point in your life?
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What are your most precious and deeply imbedded values?
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Tell about your views on growing older.
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How has the women’s movement affected your life?
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How has the civil rights movement affected your life?
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Tell the influence that music, theater, dance, art or literature has
had on your life.
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What are you afraid of?
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Tell about how you deal with anger.
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What are your food preferences? What do you like and dislike?
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Describe your favorite dessert.
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What flowers do you like?
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What one possession you own is dearest to you?
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If you were stuck on an island with just 5 books, what would you want
them to be? Why?
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Describe your favorite season.
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Describe a favorite summer day
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Describe a favorite autumn day.
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Describe someplace in nature that is special to you.
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If you could travel any place that you wanted to, where would it be
and why?
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If you had a time machine that would allow you to go to any time you
chose, when would it be? Why?
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Do you consider yourself more of an introvert or an extrovert?
----------------------------------------------------------------------
What is your idea of a dream vacation?
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Are you more of a leader or a follower?
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Are you generally on time for things or often late? How do you feel
about this?
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Would you like to be famous? Why or why not? If yes, in what way?
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What would you like to be remembered for?
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SET 2:

What was your favorite pastime as a child? Did you prefer doing it alone or with someone else?

Who gave you your name and why? Did you have a nickname? How did you get it?

Describe your childhood bedroom. What was the view from your window?

Were you baptized, christened or blessed as an infant? If so, where and by whom?

When did you first go to church? What are your earliest memories of church?

Where did your father work and what did he do?

How did your mother spend her day? Did she have a job or do volunteer work outside the home?

Describe what the family living room looked like when you were a child.

What kind of prayer did you say before you went to sleep? Who taught you to pray?

Where was your childhood home located? Did you enjoy living there?

Describe your grandparents’ houses. Did you visit them often? Why or why not?

List one special memory about each of your brothers and sisters.

Recall for me some of the most important lessons you have learned in life.

Share a memory of your grandparents or an older person you loved.

Who was the first person to talk to you about God? What effect did this have on you?

How far did you have to travel to attend elementary, junior high and high school and how did you get there?

What scent or sound immediately takes you back to childhood? Describe the feeling it evokes.

What was your favorite meal as a child? What made it your favorite?

Did you have pets? Was there a favorite?

What chores did you have to do when you were growing up? Did you get an allowance?

Tell about your first job.

Share a story about a severe winter storm.

Share your favorite dessert recipe.

Did the pastor or missionaries visit your home? What impression did that have on you?

Did you ever feel that God had a special calling for your life?

Who was your favorite teacher? Why?

Describe one of your favorite dress-up outfits as a child. On what occasions would you wear it?

Did you ever have a special hide away for playhouse? What made it special?

What extracurricular activities were you involved in during high school? Why did you choose those?

What was the hardest thing you ever had to do?

What crazy fads to you remember in grade school?

When did you have your first date? Who was it with? What did you do?

What do you remember about your first kiss?

What did you do to celebrate birthdays when you were growing up?

Record here some gardening or decorating tips that you have found helpful.

What were some of the most memorable books you read as a child? What made them memorable?

What were your family finances like as a child? How did that effect you?

What mischief did you get into as a child?

New Virtual Book Tour on the Way

Trisiti Pinkston is at it again.

A successful writer herself, Tristi also works as Senior Editor of Valor Publishing. In that role she has been a real champion of finding fresh and innovative ways to get the word out about new books coming to market. One that she has successfully done is the "Virtual Book Tour" in which several bloggers are invited to read a pre-release copy of a new book and then write a candid review of that book on their blogs.

I have been fortunate enough to be included in this gathering of readers in the past. On March 24 I will be reviewing The Cleansing of America by Dr. W. Cleon Skousen.(Click HERE for a biography of Skousen)

While I have heard a lot about Skousen's past works, I have not yet read any of his books. I have a PDF file of this soon to be published work on a flash drive I will take with me as I am traveling to Arizona this week. I have about a three hour lay over in Salt Lake at an airport that does NOT offer free wi-fi. (What's the deal SLC?) So instead of bemoaning the fact that I can't get online while I'm there I'll use that time to do some reading.

I look forward to seeing what the book has to offer and I very much appreciate Tristi's continued confidence in me as a reviewer. I'm excited to have the opportunity to give this book careful thought and share my reactions to it here.

A giant's passing

I'm on my way back to Arizona to attend the Memorial Service of my beloved uncle, Tom Pendley.

Many thanks to my cousin (Tom's daughter), Kathy Shaw, for sharing this obituary of her dad:

Arizona native, Thomas Tilman Pendley II, 87, of Phoenix died February 23, 2010.

Mr. Pendley was born February 22, 1923 in Clemenceau, (now Cottonwood), AZ to Frank and Jane Pendley. Tom grew up on the family homestead at Slide Rock, north of Sedona, where they raised apples, peaches, and pears which they sold at their roadside store. Tom attended grade school in Oak Creek Canyon, high school in Flagstaff, and university at ASU. He married Dorothy Diers in 1955 and returned to manage the family farm in Oak Creek from 1963 to 1985. Tom recognized the vulnerability of the orchard crops and added sweet corn to the produce raised at Slide Rock. He developed a loyal following of customers looking for that “picked this morning” freshness that had disappeared from the local markets. Tom’s passion for quality fruits and vegetables was the motivation for his collaborative effort in the foundation of the Coconino County Fair. He fought for the rights of the family farmer at a time when government and developers were exploiting nature’s wonders. Tom worked tirelessly to make the family farm a success and to preserve the natural beauty for generations to come. Through his efforts and those of Govenor Bruce Babbitt, Slide Rock became a State Park in 1985 and has since become one of the most popular State Parks in Arizona.

Tom and Dorothy enjoyed retirement by travelling to destinations in Alaska, Europe, and Mexico. Between trips he continued farming by raising tomatoes in his backyard garden; always with the emphasis on flavor over appearance. Tom brought the flavor of life to a family that will miss him dearly.

Tom was preceded in death by his parents, Frank L. and Jane H. Pendley, his brothers Don and Frank Pendley, sisters Jill Jonovich, Eva Young, Patricia Rueger, Marge Theriault and Joy Odell.

He leaves his wife, Dorothy of Phoenix, daughters Kathy Shaw (Ed) of Flagstaff and Karen Harkey (John) of Flagstaff, son Tom Pendley III (Kathy) of Phoenix, and three grandchildren Maya Shaw, Brooke Warren and Orion Pendley and sister Nina Lovett of Cottonwood,

A Memorial service will be held at Life in Christ Lutheran Church, Peoria, AZ, on Sunday February 28, at 3:00 p.m. (623) 773-1234.

In lieu of flowers, donations in his memory may be made to Friends of Slide Rock State Park, P.O. Box 3432, Flagstaff, AZ 86003.

Thanks to my older brother, Wayne, for sharing THIS LINK to Tom's Oral History with pictures of the apple ranch in Oak Creek that is now Slide Rock State Park.

Work / Home Balance

I've been giving some thought to the whole issue of Work / Home balance. It seems the primary reason I did not get my job in Alaska was because I was not willing to be a corporate drone. Everything looked great, and I had indeed been told that I was the person hand picked for the job. But then I started asking questions about what sort of schedule would be expected. I spoke to the person who performed the same job in Pasco, WA. Apparently that guy routinely put in 70 hrs per week. I attributed this to him being a crazy work-a-holic. Then I met the person with the same job in Anchorage. He worked even longer hours. When do these guys sleep?

As I kept inquiring and exploring the same theme kept coming up. Throughout the company the expectation seemed to be for people to put in LONG days, often taking work home over the weekends and having precious few holidays and very little vacation. They lived to work. After talking to numorous people it became clear this was endemic with that company NOT because the individuals involved had no sense of balance in their lives, but rather because it was a corporate expectation. This is the dark side of far too many companies...expecting people to give up their lives for a paycheck and that is something I simply will not do.

So I balked.

I talked to the head CEO and told him point blank "I am a very good employee because I am passionate about what I do and I give 100%. However, one of the reasons I can be such a good employee is that my life WORKS. I have a great marriage. I am a member of a faith community. I have hobbies and interests. I enjoy a rich and rewarding personal life. So while I work very hard at my job, I need to be able to consistently go home and have time to fully rejuvenate in that personal life so then I have the energy to go back to work and give 100% all over again. I will work hard and as a professional I certainly understand that there will be occassional projects that require extra long hours or even the occassional weekend. But I would expect that as matter of routine I would not typically work more than 45-50 hrs in a week. I think anything more than that would mean that either the job was ill defined, efficient systems were not in place or the expectations were unreasonable. Any job that expects more than that on an ongoing basis would not be the right match for me."

Based on that, it seems, they decided that I was no longer the right match.

In all honesty I am VERY relieved we found out this basic mis-match BEFORE I took a job and moved rather than after.

As disappointed as I was to not get my dream of moving off to moose land, I am very clear that was NOT a good match for my values and needs.

So my job search continues. I have two interviews this week and another one the first week of March. I am gathering no moss.

Through it all I have had lots of opportunities to think about what kinds of jobs would be a fit for me and what would not. So many people I know are locked into jobs they hate, or at best jobs they merely endure. I really don't want to end up in that boat. I understand that EVERY job has things that will be annoying, tedious or uncomfortable. (That's why we consider it work instead of play, right?) Still, I believe it is possible to build a work life that is rewarding on personal levels and well as economic ones.

When looking for a place to live I've carefully considered what characteristics I want from a community - things like climate, size, and types of resources available. I think it makes sense to do the same sort of analysis for what sort of work life would be the best fit and reaching specifically in that direction rather than merely grabbing on to whatever might become available.

There is a lot I'm still not clear on. But these are the things I know for sure.

1.) I would rather work inside than outside. While I do like the chance to get a change of scenery now and again, I'm not likely to enjoy working outdoors in all sorts of weather.

2) I would rather work with ideas than machines. I worked in a factory once, long time ago. I could never do that sort of employment again. It was truly miserable.

3) I need to be able to support the overall mission of the company or organization that I work for. This means that even the very best job in a company that makes bombs or produces pornography would not be a fit. I have to know that the overall goal of my employer is to meet a legitimate need or improve quality of life somehow.

4) I need contact with other people. I'm good at statistical analysis and I have skills in data management. But if I'm stuck in a room by myself crunching numbers all day I'm going to go Postal. Whatever job I get needs to allow me some amount of contact with other people on a regular basis to keep me energized.

5) I can be a Chief or an Indian, but do not mircomanage me~!
I had a job in a medical research facility once where my supervisor wanted to approve every document before I was allowed to FAX it to the vendor we worked with. Every move I made had to be discussed and signed off on by higher ups. It was excruciating. I have a brain. Let me use it to do my job.

6) The flip side of not liking micromanagment is I don't really want to be totally left on my own. I am capable of making decisions and I work well independently. Still, I like to have someone else I can bounce ideas off of and it helps if I feel like there is a leader who is aware of what I'm doing. I tend to get highly motivated when working out of loyalty to a specific person, far more so than for individual success of any given project. While I don't need much hand-holding sort of supervision, I do like having some support and/or sense of being part of a team.

Ok - those are some basic generic things I know about what I want from a job. Now all I have to do is find a position in one of the geographic regions my husband and I have identified as desirable that meets (or at least comes close to meeting) most, if not all, of those criteria.

Don't know what I'm going to be when I grow up, but the journey of exploration to find it has certainly been interesting.

Life can turn on a dime...

Earlier today I found out that I did NOT get the job I had been expecting in Alaska.
Oddly enough, despite how much I had been looking forward to heading north to Moose Land, I have felt a complete calm and peace about this.

I posted the news on my Facebook page earlier. As a result, I have had several people writing me messages giving me condolences for having missed out on the job I was so sure I had.

But you know, I just don't feel badly about it. YES, I wanted to move to Alaska and am a little baffled because the President of the college essentially had told me I had it. But apparently she got trumped by the corporate CEO. For whatever reason, things have shifted.

But here is the interesting part. The same day I found out I did not get the job, I also got a call from my son in Michigan telling me my 13 yr old grandson was needing emergency surgery on his heart. (He has had heart problems for some time so it is not totally unexpected, however complications arose just in the last week requiring the doctors to act FAST.) He came through the surgery just fine and by all accounts he will be ok. Still, I'm feeling a STRONG prompting that we need to be more available to our family.

Then tonight I opened up my scriptures at random as I often do. The first passage I turned to in the Doctrine and Covenants was this:

"And now, verily I say unto you, that it is not expedient that you should go until your children are provided for, and sent up kindly unto the bishop of Zion. And after a few years, if thou desirest of me, thou mayest go up also unto the goodly land, to possess thine inheritance." (D & C 99:6-7)

Uh, yeah. It seems really, REALLY clear to me that Heavenly Father is not saying NO, he is saying "Not Yet". I trust His timetable.

I do not know if this means we will head back to Michigan to be close to the grand kids or if it means we will stay here or if it means back to Boise or what. But clearly, it seems Alaska is on hold.

Living in Limbo like this is sorta discombobulating. I really want to know where we will land. But I am learning more every single day to "Trust in the Lord with they heart and lean not unto thine own understanding." (Proverbs 3:5)

Pins & Needles..

I've been up most the night not able to sleep. My nerves are all a jangle with anticipation about whether or not I'll get the job....

However, as skittish as I may be at present, I've been learning a whole lot from this whole process. As much as I want this move north, I honestly believe I'm ready to fully accept the outcome no matter what it is. If I do not get hired I will of course be disappointed. I have so many reasons why a move to Alaska just now would be a lovely fit. But ya know what? I am finding myself very aware these days of how richly blessed I am.

I am healthy.
I have a great marriage.
I have a strong spiritual life.
I have some great friends.
I have a great dog.
I live in a place with lots of freedom.
I have a supportive family.

The list goes on and on.

So if I DON'T get to move of to the Land of Bears & Moose, it really will be ok.
But if I DO....oh holy cow, what an adventure that would be.

Trust in the Lord...Part 2

Over on one of my other blogs I had written some thoughts about Probverbs 3:5 which says: "Trust in the Lord with all of thy heart and lean not unto thy own understanding."

Like it or not, it seems the Lord is going to just KEEP giving me lessons in this area until I buckle down and LEARN.

As my friends and family all know, this past week I flew to Alaska to interview for the job that I'm hoping for, Dean of Instruction at a private proprietary college. There are many pros and many cons about this particular job. But after six months of unemployment I am ready to get back to work. Also, as much as I would miss people I love here and leaving behind all my cozy sense of familiarity, I really do believe I would be happy living in Alaska. I can't explain it. Every time I go to the Mat-Su valley I just feel like I am COMING HOME.

So I have done all that I can do to snag this job. Now all I can do is wait and see how it plays out.

I hate the vulnerable out of control feeling of having my destiny in the hands of others. Even though I believe I am a good match for this job, and my meetings up there all seemed to go well, I am very aware that the corporate powers that be may decide they just don't want to pay to move me up there.

I can't rush it. All I can do now is wait.

Will I get it? Don't know. But EITHER WAY, I know that the Lord knows my needs. Things will work out. I need to trust. I've prepared well. I've put forth all I could put forth. Now I wait.

Sigh.

Ambivalence & Grief

Next week I head up to Alaska for my final interview in Wasilla. Then it will be decision time - they will either offer it to me or they will not. I will either decide to take it or decide to pass. I honestly am not sure how I feel about that.

This evening I've been sorting through boxes in my closet to figure out what things I would move with me and what things I'd be willing to part with. I have boxes and boxes of STUFF - cards from old friends, concert ticket stubs, restaurant menus from past dates with my husband, pressed flowers from old gardens, brochures from museums, quotes that impressed me, and all the rest...the detritus of fifty plus years of living that I've clung to despite having moved time and time again.

Do I still keep holding on to all those tokens of times past or might it be time to let much of it go? Not sure. (part of that, I suspect, will be determined on whether the new company agrees to pay for the move.)

In one box I found several different cards wishing me well on the occasions of having left my various jobs. So many goodbyes have accumulated along the way of my vagabond life.

I understand the concept of looking on life as a glass half full, choosing to focus on the blessing of having known so many great people scattered across the country as I've criss crossed this land over the years. Most days I do feel quite privileged by the opportunities I have had to cross paths with so many dear folks from all walks of life. But tonight I am feeling the sharp sting of the loss of each of those sweet friendships and the bite of having had to say too many goodbyes.

While I DO look forward to the chance to take on this big adventure (I think), I feel pensive and sad over the prospect of once more being in a town where I have zero history or sense of belonging. I am more than a little intimidated about again having to start all over from scratch in establishing a social network of people to sweeten my life.

Because this particular job will put me back into a "boss" role at work I know I won't feel free to have the rich friendships at my workplace that I've had at some of my other jobs. I can get along great with others and build a strong sense of team. But being the boss means there will have to be boundaries that sometimes leave me feeling a bit isolated.

I expect I will meet people at my church and hopefully make some friends there. But even that can be difficult at times. I'm too liberal and unconventional for a lot of the church people I meet.. and yet too faith based and accepting of certain religious ideas and rules to fit in with the liberal, unconventional folks I know. So all too often I am stuck in the middle of no man's land, wondering if this is similar to what some bi-racial people experience, never completely fitting in either world.

I keep thinking of the people here who I have come to love so very much over the past eight years, and those who have proven their grit through layers of mutual support and shared challenges. I think of those who have fully accepted me despite our major differences in values and those who have shared of themselves over the years in truly significant ways. I am mindful of all I will be giving up to embrace this new adventure. I honestly believe that if we get the opportunity to go we should grab it. I am convinced that in many ways it will be an amazing experience that I will revel in with passion and fervor. But at the very same time, I know that saying goodbye to this place, these friends, the sense of connection and belonging that I have painstakingly woven here is going to break my heart.

There is no one sided penny. There is indeed opposition in all things. In coming days I will work hard to choose to focus on the good parts of this opportunity, should it open up to enfold me. But tonight I'm feeling the fear and the grief. Tonight I'm afraid that if they said "sorry, we pick someone else" I would simply give a huge sigh of relief.

We'll see what next week brings.

Most things in life get easier with practice. Repeating a thing over and over again usually brings increased levels of mastery. But not coping with grief. The aching stab of loss just gets compounded with practice. Every new loss seems to piggyback on the preceding separations, widening the cavern of emptiness all the more.

Whether we leave in the next couple months to head off to Alaska or wait till the fall and try again for Idaho I WILL eventually be leaving the life I have carved out for myself here in Eastern Oregon. Knowing that separation is absolutely coming with naked inevitability - whether sooner or later - has my heart wincing in anticipatory grief. All the positive parts of what come next simply cannot blot out the cost of the loss.