I just updated my status over on my FaceBook page. I said I am feeling extremely grateful for all my blessings...freedom, loving friends, a great marriage, good books, supportive family, a reliable car, good health, safe drinking water, nurturing spiritual community, a great dog, a prolific garden, technology that helps make my life run smoother (everything from my vacuum cleaner to the computer I'm writing this on...) Yep, I am feeling very richly blessed !
Sure, there are dark spots and bumps in the road. My job ends July 15. I have an interview for another one set up, but even if I do get it, it will be at a significant pay cut and mean going back to that horrible learning curve out-of-my-comfort zone unfamiliarity that I always abhor. Beyond that, there are other glitches to face. A legal battle that has been expensive and mean that never should have been brought against us in the first place. Health crisis for people close to me that I care about. The continuing downward spiral of the economy that has smoked our retirement savings into a mere shadow of it's former robust security blanket. I could easily focus on what's difficult and painful if I chose.
But I CHOOSE to focus on gratitude. I am not unaware of the very real and legitimate problems that must be dealt with. But I am seeing them as just a piece of the puzzle, the shadow side of all that is light in my life. Without the dark side, I would never fully savor the sweetness of all I have that is good. So in a way, I can even be grateful for the bumps...while I do not eagerly invite them I recognize those are often my most powerful teachers in one fashion or another.
I absolutely believe that what I choose to focus on the most is entirely up to me and will be the true determining factor in how I experience my life on a day to day basis. There will be times that I may slip in my resolve to be positive. For today, however, I am reveling in all that is right in my world and feeling ever so grateful for the rich abundance I've been blessed with. Even with all it's perils and problems, my life really is sweet.
Friday, July 03, 2009
BOOKS
I just finished reading reviews of the book "Twilight" over on Jacquandor's blog, Byzantium Shores. (yeah, that's where I usually go when I'm up in the middle of the night and can't sleep.)
I've never read Twilight and don't really plan to. I've heard some people rave about it and some say it is crap. Just not a genre I'm interested in.
I TRIED to read the first Harry Potter book, but it left me cold. I quit after the first 70 pages, baffled by all the hype.
I've been thinking some about why I think of some books as well written and others as not. It has a lot to do with voice. I like a book that uses words well and that engages me into the characters.
I just finished reading My Sister's Keeper when I talked about over on Page Nibblers. I liked that book A LOT. So I picked up another book by the same author, this time trying Songs of the Humpback Whale which I'm having a very tough time getting into. Meanwhile I'm listening to the audio book I See You Everywhere by Julia Glass. That book has me absolutely gripped, although at first the way it kept skipping around in time had me a little perplexed. Once I got the hang of a non-linear story I got very interested.
Another book I recently listened to that I actually liked a lot was Widow of the South by Robert Hick, a civil war novel based on a true story.
Then, for a change of pace I listened to The Blue Zone by Andrew Gross, a thriller about a family ripped apart when the father is arrested for money laundering and dealings with a Columbia drug cartel. He testifies against his partner and the family goes into hiding in the federal witness protection program... one thing leads to another and soon you find that nothing is as it seems.
There are so many good books out there...
It is interesting to me how authors manage to create characters, events, whole worlds sometimes out of thin air. Some pull it off better than others. Some take away my breath with their power with words. Others leave me wondering why I bothered. And isn't it interesting how different people will have such completely different takes on the very same book?
So for the twilight fans or Harry Potter fans ... more power to you for liking those books that I had utterly no interest in. I don't feel the need to bash the books as drivel. I just pass them by and reach for something else. To each their own.
I've never read Twilight and don't really plan to. I've heard some people rave about it and some say it is crap. Just not a genre I'm interested in.
I TRIED to read the first Harry Potter book, but it left me cold. I quit after the first 70 pages, baffled by all the hype.
I've been thinking some about why I think of some books as well written and others as not. It has a lot to do with voice. I like a book that uses words well and that engages me into the characters.
I just finished reading My Sister's Keeper when I talked about over on Page Nibblers. I liked that book A LOT. So I picked up another book by the same author, this time trying Songs of the Humpback Whale which I'm having a very tough time getting into. Meanwhile I'm listening to the audio book I See You Everywhere by Julia Glass. That book has me absolutely gripped, although at first the way it kept skipping around in time had me a little perplexed. Once I got the hang of a non-linear story I got very interested.
Another book I recently listened to that I actually liked a lot was Widow of the South by Robert Hick, a civil war novel based on a true story.
Then, for a change of pace I listened to The Blue Zone by Andrew Gross, a thriller about a family ripped apart when the father is arrested for money laundering and dealings with a Columbia drug cartel. He testifies against his partner and the family goes into hiding in the federal witness protection program... one thing leads to another and soon you find that nothing is as it seems.
There are so many good books out there...
It is interesting to me how authors manage to create characters, events, whole worlds sometimes out of thin air. Some pull it off better than others. Some take away my breath with their power with words. Others leave me wondering why I bothered. And isn't it interesting how different people will have such completely different takes on the very same book?
So for the twilight fans or Harry Potter fans ... more power to you for liking those books that I had utterly no interest in. I don't feel the need to bash the books as drivel. I just pass them by and reach for something else. To each their own.
Sunday, June 07, 2009
Defining Fun
I recently was given a new visiting teaching route (for the non LDS who read this, that means a list of several women in our church who I will visit on a monthly basis and watch over in case they have any special needs.)
Some of the ladies on my list I've never met. Others I barely know. So, in an effort to get better acquainted I asked them each to answer the following questions:
1. How were you introduced to the church?
2. Who / Where is your family? Who are you closest too?
3. What's the best job and worst job you have ever had? If you could do ANY job you wanted what would it be?
4. What do you do for fun?
5. Do you have any hobbies and/or collections?
6. What challenges are you currently facing?
I very much enjoyed reading the answers that my ladies shared with me.
One in particular, however, gave me much food for thought.
After listing several activities she does in her leisure time she said: "Not all of these things are actually fun....define fun for me......"
Ya know, she has a point there.
What exactly do we mean when we say "FUN"?
According to the Merriam Webster online dictionary it says this about fun:
Main Entry: fun
Pronunciation: \ˈfən\
Function: noun
Etymology: English dialect fun to hoax, perhaps alteration of Middle English fonnen, from fonne dupe
Date: 1727
1: what provides amusement or enjoyment ; specifically : playful often boisterous action or speech
2: a mood for finding or making amusement
3 a: amusement, enjoyment b: derisive jest : sport, ridicule - a figure of fun -
4: violent or excited activity or argument
synonyms fun, jest, sport, game, play mean action or speech that provides amusement or arouses laughter. fun usually implies laughter or gaiety but may imply merely a lack of serious or ulterior purpose. jest implies lack of earnestness in what is said or done and may suggest a hoaxing or teasing . sport applies especially to the arousing of laughter against someone . game is close to sport, and often stresses mischievous or malicious fun . play stresses the opposition to earnest without implying any malice or mischief .
So that got me to thinking about what makes something "fun" for me...
Yesterday my husband and I teamed up to do some work in the yard. He ran the edge trimmer around the fence while I dead headed flowers and together we both pulled lots of weeds. It was work. No - wait a minute. It was fun. Yeah, it was work. But it WAS fun. We both enjoyed it a lot.
I've gone to some parties, museums, amusement parks that were supposed to entertaining only to find I had NO fun whatsoever for one reason or another.
So, in my mind FUN has less to do with the structure or type of activity and more to do with my mindset at the time.
And what determines my mindset? I DO. What happens around me certainly may support or challenge my mindset. But I honestly believe that how I feel at any given time has way more to do with what I'm internally choosing to focus on than it does with any external reality beyond my control.
So I suppose that means I can make my day to day comings and goings about as much fun as I choose to, right? In some cases I would have to work a lot harder at it than in other situations. Still, if fun is determined by how I feel rather than whatever it is I am doing - by extension that means I can choose to have fun a whole lot more often and in more different contexts than I currently do.
Do I buy that? If that is true why don't I have fun more often?
HMMMM. I'll have to think about this some more.
Some of the ladies on my list I've never met. Others I barely know. So, in an effort to get better acquainted I asked them each to answer the following questions:
1. How were you introduced to the church?
2. Who / Where is your family? Who are you closest too?
3. What's the best job and worst job you have ever had? If you could do ANY job you wanted what would it be?
4. What do you do for fun?
5. Do you have any hobbies and/or collections?
6. What challenges are you currently facing?
I very much enjoyed reading the answers that my ladies shared with me.
One in particular, however, gave me much food for thought.
After listing several activities she does in her leisure time she said: "Not all of these things are actually fun....define fun for me......"
Ya know, she has a point there.
What exactly do we mean when we say "FUN"?
According to the Merriam Webster online dictionary it says this about fun:
Main Entry: fun
Pronunciation: \ˈfən\
Function: noun
Etymology: English dialect fun to hoax, perhaps alteration of Middle English fonnen, from fonne dupe
Date: 1727
1: what provides amusement or enjoyment ; specifically : playful often boisterous action or speech
2: a mood for finding or making amusement
3 a: amusement, enjoyment
4: violent or excited activity or argument
synonyms fun, jest, sport, game, play mean action or speech that provides amusement or arouses laughter. fun usually implies laughter or gaiety but may imply merely a lack of serious or ulterior purpose
So that got me to thinking about what makes something "fun" for me...
Yesterday my husband and I teamed up to do some work in the yard. He ran the edge trimmer around the fence while I dead headed flowers and together we both pulled lots of weeds. It was work. No - wait a minute. It was fun. Yeah, it was work. But it WAS fun. We both enjoyed it a lot.
I've gone to some parties, museums, amusement parks that were supposed to entertaining only to find I had NO fun whatsoever for one reason or another.
So, in my mind FUN has less to do with the structure or type of activity and more to do with my mindset at the time.
And what determines my mindset? I DO. What happens around me certainly may support or challenge my mindset. But I honestly believe that how I feel at any given time has way more to do with what I'm internally choosing to focus on than it does with any external reality beyond my control.
So I suppose that means I can make my day to day comings and goings about as much fun as I choose to, right? In some cases I would have to work a lot harder at it than in other situations. Still, if fun is determined by how I feel rather than whatever it is I am doing - by extension that means I can choose to have fun a whole lot more often and in more different contexts than I currently do.
Do I buy that? If that is true why don't I have fun more often?
HMMMM. I'll have to think about this some more.
Saturday, June 06, 2009
Contentment
Today has been a good day. No particular reason. It's not like I did anything particularly special. I got all the laundry done and weeded the flowerbed. I went grocery shopping. I made a special pie. We had leftovers for dinner so I didn't have to cook. Basically it was just a day like any other day. Still, throughout the day I've just had a sense of contentment and peace. I've taken pleasure in noticing little things... my garden is growing like crazy. Strawberries are almost ripe. Lettuce needs thinning AGAIN. Nothing special. Just...a calm, lovely day.
Sometimes it's the simple and mundane that can bring the most pleasure. I've been blessed with opportunities to travel to exotic places. I've done some cool and exciting things. I've met fascinating people. I've accomplished some things I'm down right proud of. But when it comes down to it, it's days like today that define my life the most clearly, far more than vacations or awards. Just livin' the dream, am my pal Matthew would say. I'll take it.
Sometimes it's the simple and mundane that can bring the most pleasure. I've been blessed with opportunities to travel to exotic places. I've done some cool and exciting things. I've met fascinating people. I've accomplished some things I'm down right proud of. But when it comes down to it, it's days like today that define my life the most clearly, far more than vacations or awards. Just livin' the dream, am my pal Matthew would say. I'll take it.
Monday, June 01, 2009
Quandry
So here is my dilemma...
Part of my brain says not to worry at all about the fact that I did not get the teaching job. Things happen for a reason. There is surely some OTHER opportunity that will present itself eventually. That dimension of my thinking insists we WILL move to Idaho, just on a slightly altered time table. When I am relating from that version of my brain I value determination and tenacity. I say to myself to stick to my guns to build the life I know I want. That way of thinking is goal driven and ambitious. That side of my thinking says don't ever quit.
However, another part of my brain says GIVE IT UP. The fact that you did not get this job you were so absolutely qualified and well matched for is a clear message that you should stop always thinking grass is greener on the other side of the hill. Face that THIS is your place. Stop searching for a way to transplant. Let it go and BE HERE NOW. I live here. So I should LIVE here, not just take up space here while anxiously looking to be someplace else. That side of my brain values surrender, acceptance, walking in faith and peace.
I keep lobbing back and forth between these completely different views of what is best, what is healthy, what is valuable. Both sides of my thinking feel lucid, rational, seeking my best interest. But they are on ass end opposite sides of the spectrum. I am never quite sure which part of my perception to give more credence to.
It's complicated.
Part of my brain says not to worry at all about the fact that I did not get the teaching job. Things happen for a reason. There is surely some OTHER opportunity that will present itself eventually. That dimension of my thinking insists we WILL move to Idaho, just on a slightly altered time table. When I am relating from that version of my brain I value determination and tenacity. I say to myself to stick to my guns to build the life I know I want. That way of thinking is goal driven and ambitious. That side of my thinking says don't ever quit.
However, another part of my brain says GIVE IT UP. The fact that you did not get this job you were so absolutely qualified and well matched for is a clear message that you should stop always thinking grass is greener on the other side of the hill. Face that THIS is your place. Stop searching for a way to transplant. Let it go and BE HERE NOW. I live here. So I should LIVE here, not just take up space here while anxiously looking to be someplace else. That side of my brain values surrender, acceptance, walking in faith and peace.
I keep lobbing back and forth between these completely different views of what is best, what is healthy, what is valuable. Both sides of my thinking feel lucid, rational, seeking my best interest. But they are on ass end opposite sides of the spectrum. I am never quite sure which part of my perception to give more credence to.
It's complicated.
No more teaching for me
Well, I got the word.
They hired the other person. I did NOT get the teaching job I had applied for. They said I interviewed very well and obviously had great background, but they made the choice to go with their adjunct instructor who they already knew. From the sound of it, it was a forgone conclusion. They knew who they wanted before the process ever started. GEE, we've never seen THAT happen before have we??
Of course I am disappointed. It felt like such a right match. But I'm not giving up. I'm STILL determined to find a job that will take us to Idaho. I just don't know yet what that will be.
Next on the hit list -
I'm still in the running to be Ass. Director of the Women's Center at Boise State and as Executive Director for a non profit that serves the elderly.
If not either one of those, I'll find something else. Every trip we have made there has confirmed for me that it is the right place for us to be. It WILL happen. Just not the way I thought.
Sad to close the door on my days as a teacher. I was really good at that. Also it is rather scary to have nothing for sure in the wings since my job at STAR comes to a close in July. But it will work out. I'm sure of that.
John Lennon was right. Life really is what happens while we are making other plans. It will be ok.
They hired the other person. I did NOT get the teaching job I had applied for. They said I interviewed very well and obviously had great background, but they made the choice to go with their adjunct instructor who they already knew. From the sound of it, it was a forgone conclusion. They knew who they wanted before the process ever started. GEE, we've never seen THAT happen before have we??
Of course I am disappointed. It felt like such a right match. But I'm not giving up. I'm STILL determined to find a job that will take us to Idaho. I just don't know yet what that will be.
Next on the hit list -
I'm still in the running to be Ass. Director of the Women's Center at Boise State and as Executive Director for a non profit that serves the elderly.
If not either one of those, I'll find something else. Every trip we have made there has confirmed for me that it is the right place for us to be. It WILL happen. Just not the way I thought.
Sad to close the door on my days as a teacher. I was really good at that. Also it is rather scary to have nothing for sure in the wings since my job at STAR comes to a close in July. But it will work out. I'm sure of that.
John Lennon was right. Life really is what happens while we are making other plans. It will be ok.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Creation vs Evolution
I was just reading an intriguing post about the Creation / Evolution debate written by Austin Archer a former professor of mine and my current boss.
I’ve always been baffled by the intensity of debate between those who choose to separate themselves into two diametrically opposed camps of “creationists” and “evolutionists”. It has never seemed like a big deal to me to think that perhaps God used evolution as one of the ways He created the world. The idea that a sacred deity might utilize natural laws to carry how His divine will just isn’t a stretch for me. I don’t particularly care HOW God created life, so long as I know that He did it with purpose.
While I don't agree with everything he had to say, I really liked the notion that Charles Scriven proposed about laying aside the "mutual disdain" that the two opposing camps have so long justified themselves with.
I appreciated the reaction comment by Loren Seibold who said:
"In the end, what needs to be achieved is not a mutually acceptable theory of creation/evolution, but the maturity to disagree and still be respectful."
There are several issues at work throughout Austin's blog posting, the Charles Scriven article he refers to and all the comments associated with each. The basic questions they bring up for me are these:
To what extent can we peacefully agree to disagree on issues and when do we have an obligation to stick up for one particular belief as "right", naming anything contradictory as "wrong"?
Also, what criteria will I use personally to determine "truth"?
Which issues will I consider important to explore/examine/study to understand and which things can I pass by as not of any particular concern or interest and still regard myself as a reasonably informed person?
There are other thought this sparks for me as well ... Thanks Austin for continuing to teach me by helping me to question and consider. Whether it be as a student in your classroom, working with you at STAR, in private conversations or reading your blog I have benefited and learned from you in so may ways.
I’ve always been baffled by the intensity of debate between those who choose to separate themselves into two diametrically opposed camps of “creationists” and “evolutionists”. It has never seemed like a big deal to me to think that perhaps God used evolution as one of the ways He created the world. The idea that a sacred deity might utilize natural laws to carry how His divine will just isn’t a stretch for me. I don’t particularly care HOW God created life, so long as I know that He did it with purpose.
While I don't agree with everything he had to say, I really liked the notion that Charles Scriven proposed about laying aside the "mutual disdain" that the two opposing camps have so long justified themselves with.
I appreciated the reaction comment by Loren Seibold who said:
"In the end, what needs to be achieved is not a mutually acceptable theory of creation/evolution, but the maturity to disagree and still be respectful."
There are several issues at work throughout Austin's blog posting, the Charles Scriven article he refers to and all the comments associated with each. The basic questions they bring up for me are these:
To what extent can we peacefully agree to disagree on issues and when do we have an obligation to stick up for one particular belief as "right", naming anything contradictory as "wrong"?
Also, what criteria will I use personally to determine "truth"?
Which issues will I consider important to explore/examine/study to understand and which things can I pass by as not of any particular concern or interest and still regard myself as a reasonably informed person?
There are other thought this sparks for me as well ... Thanks Austin for continuing to teach me by helping me to question and consider. Whether it be as a student in your classroom, working with you at STAR, in private conversations or reading your blog I have benefited and learned from you in so may ways.
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Limbo Land
I'm still waiting to hear about the teaching job I interviewed for. It has been an interesting process to watch how hope, fear, excitement, and dread keep looping around in my head.
I want this job. Still, I am fearful about assuming the role of full time faculty.
For the past dozen years I've always had some OTHER sort of job for my full time bread and butter work and then done my teaching one or two nights a week (or online) on the side. WORK was something I did to pay the bills. TEACHING was something I did to feed my passion. I have some concern that if my passion becomes my work I may burn out on the one thing that I truly love.
Christmas is fun, but I wouldn't want to do it every day. If it was always Christmas, it would cease to be special.
One of the primary reasons diamonds are considered valuable is that they are relatively rare.
If I am teaching day in, day out year after year after year will it lose the magic?
Part of me thinks it would be better to get some OTHER sort of job in Idaho so I could continue that pattern of keeping my teaching as something "extra" on the side.
But another side of me says I'm sick to death of balancing two jobs and I sincerely do want to turn in my crazy workaholic membership. I want to achieve greater BALANCE in my world. I want the time to simply be and breathe.
IF I were teaching full time one of the blessings would be having my job be doing something I really love. But an equally potent blessing would be having all those yummy breaks away from the work. Week off for spring break, week off for Thanksgiving, two weeks off for Christmas, three months off for summer...yeah, I could get used to that.
But I have heard nothing back from the school yet. I thought I would by now. I KNOW these things take time... but when I interviewed on the 22nd they said they had it narrowed down to just me and one other person, and they hoped to make a decision by the following week. Well, that week has now come and gone without a peep from the college.
What does that mean?
It may mean that they are just slower than they had hoped.
It may mean that I missed this opportunity.
Right now there is no way to know.
So I wait...with hope and fear, excitement and dread.
This uncertainty and anticipation are not my favorite place to be.
But it is what it is.
So I wait.
I want this job. Still, I am fearful about assuming the role of full time faculty.
For the past dozen years I've always had some OTHER sort of job for my full time bread and butter work and then done my teaching one or two nights a week (or online) on the side. WORK was something I did to pay the bills. TEACHING was something I did to feed my passion. I have some concern that if my passion becomes my work I may burn out on the one thing that I truly love.
Christmas is fun, but I wouldn't want to do it every day. If it was always Christmas, it would cease to be special.
One of the primary reasons diamonds are considered valuable is that they are relatively rare.
If I am teaching day in, day out year after year after year will it lose the magic?
Part of me thinks it would be better to get some OTHER sort of job in Idaho so I could continue that pattern of keeping my teaching as something "extra" on the side.
But another side of me says I'm sick to death of balancing two jobs and I sincerely do want to turn in my crazy workaholic membership. I want to achieve greater BALANCE in my world. I want the time to simply be and breathe.
IF I were teaching full time one of the blessings would be having my job be doing something I really love. But an equally potent blessing would be having all those yummy breaks away from the work. Week off for spring break, week off for Thanksgiving, two weeks off for Christmas, three months off for summer...yeah, I could get used to that.
But I have heard nothing back from the school yet. I thought I would by now. I KNOW these things take time... but when I interviewed on the 22nd they said they had it narrowed down to just me and one other person, and they hoped to make a decision by the following week. Well, that week has now come and gone without a peep from the college.
What does that mean?
It may mean that they are just slower than they had hoped.
It may mean that I missed this opportunity.
Right now there is no way to know.
So I wait...with hope and fear, excitement and dread.
This uncertainty and anticipation are not my favorite place to be.
But it is what it is.
So I wait.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Write Yourself a Letter
I just opened up yesterday's mail. There was a letter to me from me.
Let me explain.
Several weeks ago I attended a professional workshop. One of the things the facillitator did at the end was pass out a bunch of sheets of fancy stationery and have each participant write a note to themselves to remind us about the most important things we learned from the training and to follow up to see if we had implemented those things. We then sealed these in envelopes addressed to ourselves and turned them in. Now, 6 weeks after the training, she is mailing them to us as a "check in" of whether we did the things we said we would do.
Sort of a cool technique I may use myself in a few different ways.
This is what my letter to myself said:
Take a deep breath and be kind to yourself.
Identify three people:
1) someone you can trust to vent to
2) someone you can ask for help
3) someone you can ask for direction
You are where you are right now for a reason. It's not forever. Take what blessings and lessons you can from this experience. Give what contribution you can and allow that to be enough. Remember to breathe.
***
I like the reminder. I plan to put the note into a new envelope, stick a stamp on it and hand it off to a friend to mail to me again in a couple months. I have a feeling those words may come in handy in more ways than one.
Let me explain.
Several weeks ago I attended a professional workshop. One of the things the facillitator did at the end was pass out a bunch of sheets of fancy stationery and have each participant write a note to themselves to remind us about the most important things we learned from the training and to follow up to see if we had implemented those things. We then sealed these in envelopes addressed to ourselves and turned them in. Now, 6 weeks after the training, she is mailing them to us as a "check in" of whether we did the things we said we would do.
Sort of a cool technique I may use myself in a few different ways.
This is what my letter to myself said:
Take a deep breath and be kind to yourself.
Identify three people:
1) someone you can trust to vent to
2) someone you can ask for help
3) someone you can ask for direction
You are where you are right now for a reason. It's not forever. Take what blessings and lessons you can from this experience. Give what contribution you can and allow that to be enough. Remember to breathe.
***
I like the reminder. I plan to put the note into a new envelope, stick a stamp on it and hand it off to a friend to mail to me again in a couple months. I have a feeling those words may come in handy in more ways than one.
Saturday, May 23, 2009
The Amazing Journey of Gabe & Me
One of the interesting outcomes of having married a man 12 yrs older than myself is that along with my husband came four step kids, two of which were closer to me in age than my spouse. Larry's oldest son, Darrin, is now 44. He married at 39 to a dynamite lady named Kris who just happened to have an 18 yr old son. That son had a son shortly there after, the young man you see pictured here - Gabriel. This means that without ever having been a parent himself, Darrin went straight forward to the fun part, being a GRANDPA. Kris & Darrin get Gabe nearly every weekend and have many fun adventures with him.
Today I got to have an adventure of my own with Gabe, hiking up the creek, naming rocks, making bridges for squirrels, examining lichen and appreciating stink bugs. We had a blast. It seems odd at the ripe old age of 51 to be considered any one's great-grandmother. But that's what Gabe knows me as. Maybe it is stretching the point a bit since I'm merely the step-mother of his step-grandfather. Clearly, there are no blood ties between myself and this young man. But family ties have far more to do with choice and aknowledgement and commitment to one another than they do with who begat who.
The ties we build while having "a journey in the wilderness" (as Gabe called it) together in the woods count for so much more than genetics.
I had a great day today visiting with cousins and kin of all sorts ...some with bonds of blood, some united by marriage, some merely affiliated by choice. We looped around through all the incarnatons of "step", and "half", inlaw and outlaw...but all one amazing FAMILY.
This reunion reminded me very much of a different gathering from many years back...when I was a young mother with two little boys celebrating the 100th birthday of my own great grandmother. I described that in a story for Ensign magazine back in 1990 called The Tapestery Called Family.
We are primed by our families of origin to establish certain expectations about what it means to be a daughter, a sister, a mother, a wife, or any other relationship. Because of my own experiences with MY great grandmother my initial assumptions of that role is to think of someone who is old, frail, disengaged from life. But just as I have chosen to have a very different style of marriage and very different parenting style from those of my parents and grandparents, I will also begin brand new traditions in this role.
I look forward to exploring and expanding what it means to be a great grandma to Gabe and all the others who come after him when my own grandchildren start families of their own. Kaylie is now 14 with other siblings following, so in another 10 to 15 years I expect there may be several new faces in the mix. I'm up for it. I think I make an awesome great grandma.
Friday, May 22, 2009
Pins and Needles
I'm in Idaho once again - scheduled for my SECOND interview for the full time sociology faculty job I am hoping for. Yes indeed, I made the first cut into the final top three.
I have SERIOUS butterflies. I am trying to let go of all expectation, to simply trust God and the universe to know what is best. I keep trying to pray "thy will be done." But I WANT this so bad I can taste it. It seems like such a right fit for both me and for my family for MANY different reasons.
DON'T get your hopes up I tell myself - stay in a state of optimistic acceptance of whatever may come to pass. But it's too late. Once I got the call that I made the cut my hopes did all sorts of flip flops in my belly. I do want it with a keening hunger that steals my breath.
Heck, I got so excited about the possibility I started pulling books off my many bookshelves and packing to move. Yeah, I get it that is WAY premature. But I had so much nervous energy I couldn't help myself. I packed 10 boxes which are all neatly labled. Garden books. Paperback novels. Old classics. Church books. Sociology books. This isn't a matter of being over confident. I TOTALLY get it that I do not have this job wrapped up. It was more a matter of completely focusing on the reality I desire and preparing for that to happen. It's not that big of a deal if I have to put the books back. If I DO get to move as I want to then yippee, I'm ahead of the game.
I pray for calm. I pray for willingness to accept whatever comes. But right on the heels of that I keep falling back to: Please God, please, please please, if it be possible, let this opportunity come.
I'll be on pins and needles till I hear. I have some nagging concern that if the answer is no - not this job, not this time, not this place that I just may crash and burn. I would hope not. But I suspect the disappointment would be huge. So I am trying to put on the brakes for my eager anticipation about having this particular dream come true. Maybe this is something else all together. Maybe this is just to be a test of my resilience? Maybe this is one more experience of coping with heartache and loss?
I KNOW God lives, I KNOW God loves me, I KNOW God hears my prayers. Yet I also know that sometimes the answer to those prayers is no. I trust that when He does say no that it is not capricious disregard. I know He has my very best interest at heart. But I also know that a big part of this fallen mortal world is to test and refine us and that adversity is a huge part of that plan.
So while I trust & have faith that in the ETERNAL realm whatever happens will be for my good, I do not trust that it will work out feeling good NOW.
So I'm worried and nervous, scared and all wobbly inside.
Oh, how I want this.
But I will breathe deep and do the best I can to be calm.
Interview at 11:30 today Idaho time.
I'll let ya know how it goes.
I have SERIOUS butterflies. I am trying to let go of all expectation, to simply trust God and the universe to know what is best. I keep trying to pray "thy will be done." But I WANT this so bad I can taste it. It seems like such a right fit for both me and for my family for MANY different reasons.
DON'T get your hopes up I tell myself - stay in a state of optimistic acceptance of whatever may come to pass. But it's too late. Once I got the call that I made the cut my hopes did all sorts of flip flops in my belly. I do want it with a keening hunger that steals my breath.
Heck, I got so excited about the possibility I started pulling books off my many bookshelves and packing to move. Yeah, I get it that is WAY premature. But I had so much nervous energy I couldn't help myself. I packed 10 boxes which are all neatly labled. Garden books. Paperback novels. Old classics. Church books. Sociology books. This isn't a matter of being over confident. I TOTALLY get it that I do not have this job wrapped up. It was more a matter of completely focusing on the reality I desire and preparing for that to happen. It's not that big of a deal if I have to put the books back. If I DO get to move as I want to then yippee, I'm ahead of the game.
I pray for calm. I pray for willingness to accept whatever comes. But right on the heels of that I keep falling back to: Please God, please, please please, if it be possible, let this opportunity come.
I'll be on pins and needles till I hear. I have some nagging concern that if the answer is no - not this job, not this time, not this place that I just may crash and burn. I would hope not. But I suspect the disappointment would be huge. So I am trying to put on the brakes for my eager anticipation about having this particular dream come true. Maybe this is something else all together. Maybe this is just to be a test of my resilience? Maybe this is one more experience of coping with heartache and loss?
I KNOW God lives, I KNOW God loves me, I KNOW God hears my prayers. Yet I also know that sometimes the answer to those prayers is no. I trust that when He does say no that it is not capricious disregard. I know He has my very best interest at heart. But I also know that a big part of this fallen mortal world is to test and refine us and that adversity is a huge part of that plan.
So while I trust & have faith that in the ETERNAL realm whatever happens will be for my good, I do not trust that it will work out feeling good NOW.
So I'm worried and nervous, scared and all wobbly inside.
Oh, how I want this.
But I will breathe deep and do the best I can to be calm.
Interview at 11:30 today Idaho time.
I'll let ya know how it goes.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Finding My Fit
On Friday I interviewed for a full time teaching position at a community college in Idaho. The interview went extremely well. At no point in the process did I feel like I was posing or trying to SEEM like what they wanted. I was simply able to present myself as authentically as possible and describe the way my background would be a match for their needs. EVERY single question they asked seemed like a match to my strengths. Then I did a 15 minute teaching demonstration that went very well. Through the whole process I felt like I was "In the Zone", able to communicate clearly from my own personal best space. There is not one single thing I would change about anything I said.
So now I wait to see if I make it to the next round in the selection process. I think it would be an ideal match. But for all I know, they could have known exactly who they wanted for the job before the screening ever began - which happens a fair amount in academia. What I know for sure is that if for any reason I do not get this job it will not be due to any misstep on my part. I gave it my very best shot. Now I just wait to see how it all unfold.
So now I wait to see if I make it to the next round in the selection process. I think it would be an ideal match. But for all I know, they could have known exactly who they wanted for the job before the screening ever began - which happens a fair amount in academia. What I know for sure is that if for any reason I do not get this job it will not be due to any misstep on my part. I gave it my very best shot. Now I just wait to see how it all unfold.
Friday, May 08, 2009
The Hunt for Gollum
I'm totally jazzed over a link I just picked up from Papa Herman's blog.
Doug Levy, for the Daily Dose, wrote:
THE HUNT FOR GOLLUM
Fan-made film taken to new levels
Director Chris Bouchard’s The Hunt for Gollum revisits the world of J.R.R. Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings trilogy with a glimpse at a previously unseen part of the tale.
The results belie the miniscule budget. Bouchard made the 40-minute film for just a few thousand dollars, employing makeshift camera equipment, orchestra synthesizers, and volunteer digital animators. Most of the cast and crew — roughly 160 in all — donated their time after realizing the extent of the undertaking.
Familiar faces abound. The film follows Aragorn’s quest to track down the titular ring-craving creature, also featuring appearances from Gandalf, Arwin, and other LOTR characters. The actor portraying Aragorn bears more than a passing resemblance to Viggo Mortensen, while the wizard is a dead ringer for Ian McKellen.
It’s available to watch for free. In order to steer clear of potential problems with movie studios and the Tolkien estate, the filmmakers agreed to make the production completely nonprofit, meaning that the final result is yours to enjoy in its entirety free of charge.
To see the film visit the ‘Hunt for Gollum’ click HERE
Doug Levy, for the Daily Dose, wrote:
THE HUNT FOR GOLLUM
Fan-made film taken to new levels
Director Chris Bouchard’s The Hunt for Gollum revisits the world of J.R.R. Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings trilogy with a glimpse at a previously unseen part of the tale.
The results belie the miniscule budget. Bouchard made the 40-minute film for just a few thousand dollars, employing makeshift camera equipment, orchestra synthesizers, and volunteer digital animators. Most of the cast and crew — roughly 160 in all — donated their time after realizing the extent of the undertaking.
Familiar faces abound. The film follows Aragorn’s quest to track down the titular ring-craving creature, also featuring appearances from Gandalf, Arwin, and other LOTR characters. The actor portraying Aragorn bears more than a passing resemblance to Viggo Mortensen, while the wizard is a dead ringer for Ian McKellen.
It’s available to watch for free. In order to steer clear of potential problems with movie studios and the Tolkien estate, the filmmakers agreed to make the production completely nonprofit, meaning that the final result is yours to enjoy in its entirety free of charge.
To see the film visit the ‘Hunt for Gollum’ click HERE
Crazy 8 Meme
I picked this one up over on Mimi's blog...seemed like something fun so here are my answers:
8 Things I am looking forward to:
1. Moving to Idaho
2. Watermelon that has taste (note to self, in future no matter how tantalizing they look in the store, do NOT buy watermelon until at least June. May watermelons taste like cardboard, I don't care where they are grown.)
3. Seeing the hollyhocks I planted bloom
4. Next year's Bright Monday picnic (and the one after that, and the one after that...) This is a tradition very worth keeping.
5. Travelling to Italy. (Ok, so this one is not exactly in the works right at this very moment...but SOMEDAY I'll get there yet. Hey, it's MY list, I'm keeping it!)
6. Seeing the new Star Trek movie
7. Getting my laptop back WITHOUT it's slow as molasses in January problems.
8. Did I mention moving to Idaho? Yeah, I know I did. But that is what I am REALLY focused on these days.
8 Things I did yesterday:
1. Worked on Second Chance Act grant and got totally overwhelmed by all the federal reporting requirements
2. Picked up a bed donated by a very nice lady
3. Visited with a dear friend who I trust and respect
4. Appreciated all the trees blooming in Walla Walla
5. Watched the French film The Diving Bell and the Butterfly - AMAZING Story!!! Can't wait to read the book. Maybe I should have put that up above??
6. Looked at various real estate websites for homes in Nampa and Meridian
7. Enjoyed time with my dog
8. Started planning the talk I will give in church this Sunday
8 Things I wish I could do:
1. Stay focused on gratitude in the face of adversity
2. Soothe the suffering of people I love
3. Speak Spanish fluently
4. Play the piano
5. Knit (No, I did not forget to take of Mimi's answer, I'm just stealing it. I've never learned how because I just don't sit still long enough. But it seems like a cool and worthwhile practice. Maybe I'll learn??)
6. Keep my office clean and organized for longer than 3 days.
7. Go on vacation - Italy, Greece or even Yellowstone. Unfortunately, due to dollar constraints and work commitments it probably is NOT going to happen this year. Sigh. I guess I'll have to be satisfied with a trip to Utah for Memorial Day.
8. Swim with confidence. I can swim, but I'm always just a little nervous in water over my head. A couple serious near drownings - one as a kid and one as an adult - have made me very wary of water.
8 Shows I Watch
1. House
2. Grey’s Anatomy
3. CSI
4. Star Trek Voyager
5. NCIS
6. Numbers
7.
8. (Actually that's about it, and I don't watch any of those faithfully...they are simply things I have watched, sometimes watch or would watch again. I honestly could not tell you what channel any of them are on, what time they play or even what days... I just go grazing for media once in a while and these will catch my fancy.)
That's all that was included in the original meme. Just for the fun of it I am adding these:
8 Life Lessons I have benefited from (or am TRYING to put into practice)
1. Don't sweat the small stuff. (and most everything is small stuff.)
2. There is no such thing as getting it wrong. There is just different outcomes. EVERY path we take will have advantages and disadvantages. Be willing to be open and learn from whatever comes.
3. Take good care of your feet. (and the rest of your body while you are at it.)
4. Find something to TRULY feel grateful for every single day.
5. While relative morality and tolerance for just about everything may be popular, some things really are wrong.
6. Living with integrity matters.
7. Learning something new is great, but there is also tremendous value in REMEMBERING what you already learned and actually putting it into practice.
8. Live with passion.
Ok - there is is. I'm not tagging anyone, but feel free to play along if you choose
8 Things I am looking forward to:
1. Moving to Idaho
2. Watermelon that has taste (note to self, in future no matter how tantalizing they look in the store, do NOT buy watermelon until at least June. May watermelons taste like cardboard, I don't care where they are grown.)
3. Seeing the hollyhocks I planted bloom
4. Next year's Bright Monday picnic (and the one after that, and the one after that...) This is a tradition very worth keeping.
5. Travelling to Italy. (Ok, so this one is not exactly in the works right at this very moment...but SOMEDAY I'll get there yet. Hey, it's MY list, I'm keeping it!)
6. Seeing the new Star Trek movie
7. Getting my laptop back WITHOUT it's slow as molasses in January problems.
8. Did I mention moving to Idaho? Yeah, I know I did. But that is what I am REALLY focused on these days.
8 Things I did yesterday:
1. Worked on Second Chance Act grant and got totally overwhelmed by all the federal reporting requirements
2. Picked up a bed donated by a very nice lady
3. Visited with a dear friend who I trust and respect
4. Appreciated all the trees blooming in Walla Walla
5. Watched the French film The Diving Bell and the Butterfly - AMAZING Story!!! Can't wait to read the book. Maybe I should have put that up above??
6. Looked at various real estate websites for homes in Nampa and Meridian
7. Enjoyed time with my dog
8. Started planning the talk I will give in church this Sunday
8 Things I wish I could do:
1. Stay focused on gratitude in the face of adversity
2. Soothe the suffering of people I love
3. Speak Spanish fluently
4. Play the piano
5. Knit (No, I did not forget to take of Mimi's answer, I'm just stealing it. I've never learned how because I just don't sit still long enough. But it seems like a cool and worthwhile practice. Maybe I'll learn??)
6. Keep my office clean and organized for longer than 3 days.
7. Go on vacation - Italy, Greece or even Yellowstone. Unfortunately, due to dollar constraints and work commitments it probably is NOT going to happen this year. Sigh. I guess I'll have to be satisfied with a trip to Utah for Memorial Day.
8. Swim with confidence. I can swim, but I'm always just a little nervous in water over my head. A couple serious near drownings - one as a kid and one as an adult - have made me very wary of water.
8 Shows I Watch
1. House
2. Grey’s Anatomy
3. CSI
4. Star Trek Voyager
5. NCIS
6. Numbers
7.
8. (Actually that's about it, and I don't watch any of those faithfully...they are simply things I have watched, sometimes watch or would watch again. I honestly could not tell you what channel any of them are on, what time they play or even what days... I just go grazing for media once in a while and these will catch my fancy.)
That's all that was included in the original meme. Just for the fun of it I am adding these:
8 Life Lessons I have benefited from (or am TRYING to put into practice)
1. Don't sweat the small stuff. (and most everything is small stuff.)
2. There is no such thing as getting it wrong. There is just different outcomes. EVERY path we take will have advantages and disadvantages. Be willing to be open and learn from whatever comes.
3. Take good care of your feet. (and the rest of your body while you are at it.)
4. Find something to TRULY feel grateful for every single day.
5. While relative morality and tolerance for just about everything may be popular, some things really are wrong.
6. Living with integrity matters.
7. Learning something new is great, but there is also tremendous value in REMEMBERING what you already learned and actually putting it into practice.
8. Live with passion.
Ok - there is is. I'm not tagging anyone, but feel free to play along if you choose
Criteria for LIFE
My beloved and I have been looking at lots of houses on the Internet. There are still many things that have to fall into place before we can get serious about this move we want to make, but we are doing lots of pre-planning to be sure we are clear on what our priorities will be when we are ready to make the move to Spudland.
When we look at houses we make two lists: first there is the list of absolute deal breakers - the criteria we MUST have (within a specific price range, all on one level, three bedrooms, two bathrooms, a garage, trees in the yard) and things we MUST avoid (busy streets, chronic smell of sugar beets being processed, one-butt kitchens.)
Then we have a whole laundry list of our PREFERRED criteria...things we would really appreciate but can negotiate around. Some are things we could add later if they are not in place when we buy it, some are things that if we had to we could live without.(separate living room / family room, pantry for food storage, fully fenced yard, underground sprinklers, dining room suitable for entertaining, etc etc)
As I think of those lists for looking at houses, it makes me ponder what sort of lists I would craft for my life.
What are the criteria I absolutely MUST have? What are the deal breakers that I am absolutely committed to avoiding no matter what?
What are the things that I hope to accomplish / achieve / incorporate, the things that I wish for and will look for, but can get by with if I do not have?
How do I decide which is which?
I've often heard the story about boiling frogs. It is said that if you toss a live frog into hot water it will leap out, but if you put that same frog into cold water and then increase the temperature bit by bit the frog will adapt to the changes until you have yourself a boiled frog.
Too often people are like that too. Circumstances that would absolutely violate our values if we were confronted with them all at once can creep up on us gradually.
From the physical realm to the metaphysical, I want to get clear on the bench marks I need to look to as guide posts of when I am on track and when I have lost my way.
In terms of physical health...I do NOT ever want to be one of those women who is obsessed with weight or size. But I do want to continue to work toward improving my health. In my 20's and 30's I was pretty trim. However, over the last 10 years I have gained about 3 lbs per year. Do the math. Uh, yeah. It was never a lot at once. Hardly noticeable. But the cumulative effect is that these days I'm a pretty big girl. I decided to do something about it, so I changed my pattern of diet and exercise and managed to drop thirty pounds a year ago. But then I changed jobs so I no longer had access to the college fitness center and I relapsed into emotional eating during stress. As a result,about half of that weight I worked so hard to lose is now back and more is creeping...
So now I need to decide. To what extent am I willing to make a serious commitment about what goes in my mouth and how much I move? How much will those changes be something I absolutely am determined to stick to and how much am I willing to wobble when my job or other circumstances change?
Then I look at other areas, from my prayer life to my finances, my involvement in my community to the ways I relate to family and friends. What are the standards in each of those areas that matter most to me? What ones are negotiable?
Obviously there are things I do not have much control over. It makes sense to be able to accept things that come my way on the winds of change that are outside my sphere of influence. But I am convinced that as I get more mindful of the places where I do have room for choice, I can craft a life by design rather than rolling over and taking whatever I get by default.
Sometimes I go to open houses in neighborhoods where I KNOW I would never choose to live because looking at different kinds of houses gives me ideas of things I might incorporate in other spots. In the same fashion, I look to my friends, my family, my associates for how they fashion their lives NOT so I can keep up or compete in any way. Instead I look to them as role models of both the qualities I might emulate and the characteristics I would NEVER want to demonstrate.
So I am getting more deliberate on my Moving Toward values...the things I want to invite into my life AND my Moving Away values...the things I want to reduce or eliminate insofar as it is possible.
I would love a life where I lived in total integrity every minute of every day.
I am not there yet. But I'm working on it.
I would love a life where I was in a conscious state of gratitude far more consistently than I currently manage.
I would love a life where I never said an unkind or hurtful thing to or about anyone ever again.
In these and a myriad of other ways I am seeking greater clarity by taking honest assessment of where I am now and where I would most like to be. Only by knowing both of those without distortion or bias can I make progress to get from one to the other. If I rationalize or justify or excuse any place I miss the mark as "not that big a deal" or minimize it by saying "it could be worse", then I am not likely to try to change it. This is not about beating myself up for being less than perfect or falling back into old habits of pouring angst over myself any time I think I am "getting it wrong". It's about taking stock in a meaningful way that serves me.
It is about being mindful and fully present in my own life. It's about seeking out the proper balance between introspection and going with the flow. It's about knowing when to accept things as they are and when to say no, I want to change that.
So I will continue my house hunting. I will recognize that I do not need a PERFECT house. I just need a house that is comfortable enough to be my next home. And along the way, I will look inside my head, my heart, my spirit, my body to see what things feel "just right" and what things I may want to shift a bit. I think it makes sense to consider myself a work in progress WITHOUT denigrating myself for my flaws.
When we look at houses we make two lists: first there is the list of absolute deal breakers - the criteria we MUST have (within a specific price range, all on one level, three bedrooms, two bathrooms, a garage, trees in the yard) and things we MUST avoid (busy streets, chronic smell of sugar beets being processed, one-butt kitchens.)
Then we have a whole laundry list of our PREFERRED criteria...things we would really appreciate but can negotiate around. Some are things we could add later if they are not in place when we buy it, some are things that if we had to we could live without.(separate living room / family room, pantry for food storage, fully fenced yard, underground sprinklers, dining room suitable for entertaining, etc etc)
As I think of those lists for looking at houses, it makes me ponder what sort of lists I would craft for my life.
What are the criteria I absolutely MUST have? What are the deal breakers that I am absolutely committed to avoiding no matter what?
What are the things that I hope to accomplish / achieve / incorporate, the things that I wish for and will look for, but can get by with if I do not have?
How do I decide which is which?
I've often heard the story about boiling frogs. It is said that if you toss a live frog into hot water it will leap out, but if you put that same frog into cold water and then increase the temperature bit by bit the frog will adapt to the changes until you have yourself a boiled frog.
Too often people are like that too. Circumstances that would absolutely violate our values if we were confronted with them all at once can creep up on us gradually.
From the physical realm to the metaphysical, I want to get clear on the bench marks I need to look to as guide posts of when I am on track and when I have lost my way.
In terms of physical health...I do NOT ever want to be one of those women who is obsessed with weight or size. But I do want to continue to work toward improving my health. In my 20's and 30's I was pretty trim. However, over the last 10 years I have gained about 3 lbs per year. Do the math. Uh, yeah. It was never a lot at once. Hardly noticeable. But the cumulative effect is that these days I'm a pretty big girl. I decided to do something about it, so I changed my pattern of diet and exercise and managed to drop thirty pounds a year ago. But then I changed jobs so I no longer had access to the college fitness center and I relapsed into emotional eating during stress. As a result,about half of that weight I worked so hard to lose is now back and more is creeping...
So now I need to decide. To what extent am I willing to make a serious commitment about what goes in my mouth and how much I move? How much will those changes be something I absolutely am determined to stick to and how much am I willing to wobble when my job or other circumstances change?
Then I look at other areas, from my prayer life to my finances, my involvement in my community to the ways I relate to family and friends. What are the standards in each of those areas that matter most to me? What ones are negotiable?
Obviously there are things I do not have much control over. It makes sense to be able to accept things that come my way on the winds of change that are outside my sphere of influence. But I am convinced that as I get more mindful of the places where I do have room for choice, I can craft a life by design rather than rolling over and taking whatever I get by default.
Sometimes I go to open houses in neighborhoods where I KNOW I would never choose to live because looking at different kinds of houses gives me ideas of things I might incorporate in other spots. In the same fashion, I look to my friends, my family, my associates for how they fashion their lives NOT so I can keep up or compete in any way. Instead I look to them as role models of both the qualities I might emulate and the characteristics I would NEVER want to demonstrate.
So I am getting more deliberate on my Moving Toward values...the things I want to invite into my life AND my Moving Away values...the things I want to reduce or eliminate insofar as it is possible.
I would love a life where I lived in total integrity every minute of every day.
I am not there yet. But I'm working on it.
I would love a life where I was in a conscious state of gratitude far more consistently than I currently manage.
I would love a life where I never said an unkind or hurtful thing to or about anyone ever again.
In these and a myriad of other ways I am seeking greater clarity by taking honest assessment of where I am now and where I would most like to be. Only by knowing both of those without distortion or bias can I make progress to get from one to the other. If I rationalize or justify or excuse any place I miss the mark as "not that big a deal" or minimize it by saying "it could be worse", then I am not likely to try to change it. This is not about beating myself up for being less than perfect or falling back into old habits of pouring angst over myself any time I think I am "getting it wrong". It's about taking stock in a meaningful way that serves me.
It is about being mindful and fully present in my own life. It's about seeking out the proper balance between introspection and going with the flow. It's about knowing when to accept things as they are and when to say no, I want to change that.
So I will continue my house hunting. I will recognize that I do not need a PERFECT house. I just need a house that is comfortable enough to be my next home. And along the way, I will look inside my head, my heart, my spirit, my body to see what things feel "just right" and what things I may want to shift a bit. I think it makes sense to consider myself a work in progress WITHOUT denigrating myself for my flaws.
Tuesday, May 05, 2009
More Idaho Pics
Here are a few more scenes from over the weekend. Is it any wonder I want to spend more time here?
backyard
Sunrise from the porch
Beauty
Katie
Turbo
chickens
Norman J. T-Bone
backyard
Sunrise from the porch
Beauty
Katie
Turbo
chickens
Norman J. T-Bone
IDAHO BOUND
I just got back from a fabulous weekend spent with my brother and his wife who live just outside Boise, Idaho. They have an amazing retreat on five acres which they have developed into a non-profit horticultural therapy and education center. All sorts of groups come out there for workshops, service projects, meditation, music, you name it. If things work out the way I plan I will be living there for a while helping out at the center. Much yet to be defined, but before the year is out I hope to be living in Idaho. I'm ready to be a spud.
The Greenhouse
By brother's house at Valli Hi
Wednesday, April 08, 2009
Tell Me YOUR story!
I had an interesting experience yesterday... a job interview gone frightfully wrong.
Once I see how things turn out I'll share more of the details here.
But for now, just to get a bit of perspective, I am inviting any and all to share their stories of job interviews - no matter which side of the table you were on. What weird things have happened to you when you were either interviewing someone else or being interviewed yourself?
Come on gang, bring on your tales!
Once I see how things turn out I'll share more of the details here.
But for now, just to get a bit of perspective, I am inviting any and all to share their stories of job interviews - no matter which side of the table you were on. What weird things have happened to you when you were either interviewing someone else or being interviewed yourself?
Come on gang, bring on your tales!
Saturday, April 04, 2009
FOR ALL MY WOMEN FRIENDS
I grew up with brothers and I raised sons. I now live with just my male mate. I've often said I've seldom been in a house with the toilet seat down.
Maybe because most of my socialization has been with males, many of my close friends over the years have been guys. I like the linear way guys tend to think and communicate. I celebrate the quality males I have been privileged to know throughout my life. There are quite a few special men in my life right now that I truly cherish. I can talk on the phone to my younger son, Aaron, for hours at a time. I often engage in facebook chats with a colleague of mine who shares wisdom and humor that I really appreciate. I've written before about how much I adore my husband, and then there's all the rest from blogger pals (Hey Kelly!) to my brothers to faith leaders... I could sing their praises and beyond.
HOWEVER...there is just something structurally different about the way women relate to one another in friendship than even the best of friendships that I enjoy with men.
In honor of all the women in my life (you know who you are!) I share the following article and a challenge....let's NOT put our bonds on the back burner. Granted life gets busy and demanding. But we need to acknowledge the magic and healing we bring to each others lives. So shout out to all of you, my dear women friends. Thank you for the blessing you are in my life!
****
UCLA Study On Friendship Among Women
An alternative to fight or flight ©2002 Gale Berkowitz
A landmark UCLA study suggests friendships between women are special. They shape who we are and who we are yet to be. They soothe our tumultuous inner world, fill the emotional gaps in our marriage, and help us remember who we really are. By the way, they may do even more. Scientists now suspect that hanging out with our friends can actually counteract the kind of stomach-quivering stress most of us experience on a daily basis.
A landmark UCLA study suggests that women respond to stress with a cascade of brain chemicals that cause us to make and maintain friendships with other women. It's a stunning find that has turned five decades of stress research—most of it on men—upside down. Until this study was published, scientists generally believed that when people experience stress, they trigger a hormonal cascade that revs the body to either stand and fight or flee as fast as possible, explains Laura Cousin Klein, Ph.D., now an Assistant Professor of Biobehavioral Health at Penn State University and one of the study's authors. It's an ancient survival mechanism left over from the time we were chased across the planet by saber-toothed tigers. Now the researchers suspect that women have a larger behavioral repertoire than just fight or flight; In fact, says Dr. Klein, it seems that when the hormone oxytocin is release as part of the stress responses in a woman, it buffers the fight or flight response and encourages her to tend children and gather with other women instead. When she actually engages in this tending or befriending, studies suggest that more oxytocin is released, which further counters stress and produces a calming effect.
This calming response does not occur in men, says Dr. Klein, because testosterone—which men produce in high levels when they're under stress—seems to reduce the effects of oxytocin. Estrogen, she adds, seems to enhance it. The discovery that women respond to stress differently than men was made in a classic "aha" moment shared by two women scientists who were talking one day in a lab at UCLA. There was this joke that when the women who worked in the lab were stressed, they came in, cleaned the lab, had coffee, and bonded, says Dr. Klein. When the men were stressed, they holed up somewhere on their own. I commented one day to fellow researcher Shelley Taylor that nearly 90% of the stress research is on males. I showed her the data from my lab, and the two of us knew instantly that we were onto something. The women cleared their schedules and started meeting with one scientist after another from various research specialties. Very quickly, Drs. Klein and Taylor discovered that by not including women in stress research, scientists had made a huge mistake: The fact that women respond to stress differently than men has significant implications for our health.
It may take some time for new studies to reveal all the ways that oxytocin encourages us to care for children and hang out with other women, but the "tend and befriend" notion developed by Drs. Klein and Taylor may explain why women consistently outlive men. Study after study has found that social ties reduce our risk of disease by lowering blood pressure, heart rate, and cholesterol. There's no doubt, says Dr. Klein, that friends are helping us live longer. In one study, for example, researchers found that people who had no friends increased their risk of death over a 6-month period.
In another study, those who had the most friends over a 9-year period cut their risk of death by more than 60%. Friends are also helping us live better. The famed Nurses' Health Study from Harvard Medical School found that the more friends women had, the less likely they were to develop physical impairments as they aged, and the more likely they were to be leading a joyful life. In fact, the results were so significant, the researchers concluded, that not having close friends or confidants was as detrimental to your health as smoking or carrying extra weight. And that's not all. When the researchers looked at how well the women functioned after the death of their spouse, they found that even in the face of this biggest stressor of all, those women who had a close friend and confidante were more likely to survive the experience without any new physical impairments or permanent loss of vitality.
Those without friends were not always so fortunate. Yet if friends counter the stress that seems to swallow up so much of our life these days, if they keep us healthy and even add years to our life, why is it so hard to find time to be with them? That's a question that also troubles researcher Ruthellen Josselson, Ph.D., co-author of Best Friends: The Pleasures and Perils of Girls' and Women's Friendships (Three Rivers Press, 1998). The following paragraph is, in my opinion, very, very true and something all women should be aware of and NOT put our female friends on the back burners. Every time we get overly busy with work and family, the first thing we do is let go of friendships with other women, explains Dr. Josselson. We push them right to the back burner. That's really a mistake because women are such a source of strength to each other. We nurture one another. And we need to have unpressured space in which we can do the special kind of talk that women do when they're with other women. It's a very healing experience. _________________________________________________________________
Taylor, S. E., Klein, L.C., Lewis, B. P., Gruenewald, T. L., Gurung, R. A. R., & Updegraff, J. A. Female Responses to Stress: Tend and Befriend, Not Fight or Flight"
Psychol Rev, 107(3):41-429. Geary DC, Flinn MV. Sex differences in behavioral and hormonal response to social threat: commentary on Taylor et al.
Psychol Rev 2002 Oct;109(4):745-50; discussion 751-3 Cousino Klein L, Corwin EJ. Seeing the unexpected: how sex differences in stress responses may provide a new perspective on the manifestation of psychiatric disorders.
Curr Psychiatry Rep. 2002 Dec;4(6):441-8.
Maybe because most of my socialization has been with males, many of my close friends over the years have been guys. I like the linear way guys tend to think and communicate. I celebrate the quality males I have been privileged to know throughout my life. There are quite a few special men in my life right now that I truly cherish. I can talk on the phone to my younger son, Aaron, for hours at a time. I often engage in facebook chats with a colleague of mine who shares wisdom and humor that I really appreciate. I've written before about how much I adore my husband, and then there's all the rest from blogger pals (Hey Kelly!) to my brothers to faith leaders... I could sing their praises and beyond.
HOWEVER...there is just something structurally different about the way women relate to one another in friendship than even the best of friendships that I enjoy with men.
In honor of all the women in my life (you know who you are!) I share the following article and a challenge....let's NOT put our bonds on the back burner. Granted life gets busy and demanding. But we need to acknowledge the magic and healing we bring to each others lives. So shout out to all of you, my dear women friends. Thank you for the blessing you are in my life!
****
UCLA Study On Friendship Among Women
An alternative to fight or flight ©2002 Gale Berkowitz
A landmark UCLA study suggests friendships between women are special. They shape who we are and who we are yet to be. They soothe our tumultuous inner world, fill the emotional gaps in our marriage, and help us remember who we really are. By the way, they may do even more. Scientists now suspect that hanging out with our friends can actually counteract the kind of stomach-quivering stress most of us experience on a daily basis.
A landmark UCLA study suggests that women respond to stress with a cascade of brain chemicals that cause us to make and maintain friendships with other women. It's a stunning find that has turned five decades of stress research—most of it on men—upside down. Until this study was published, scientists generally believed that when people experience stress, they trigger a hormonal cascade that revs the body to either stand and fight or flee as fast as possible, explains Laura Cousin Klein, Ph.D., now an Assistant Professor of Biobehavioral Health at Penn State University and one of the study's authors. It's an ancient survival mechanism left over from the time we were chased across the planet by saber-toothed tigers. Now the researchers suspect that women have a larger behavioral repertoire than just fight or flight; In fact, says Dr. Klein, it seems that when the hormone oxytocin is release as part of the stress responses in a woman, it buffers the fight or flight response and encourages her to tend children and gather with other women instead. When she actually engages in this tending or befriending, studies suggest that more oxytocin is released, which further counters stress and produces a calming effect.
This calming response does not occur in men, says Dr. Klein, because testosterone—which men produce in high levels when they're under stress—seems to reduce the effects of oxytocin. Estrogen, she adds, seems to enhance it. The discovery that women respond to stress differently than men was made in a classic "aha" moment shared by two women scientists who were talking one day in a lab at UCLA. There was this joke that when the women who worked in the lab were stressed, they came in, cleaned the lab, had coffee, and bonded, says Dr. Klein. When the men were stressed, they holed up somewhere on their own. I commented one day to fellow researcher Shelley Taylor that nearly 90% of the stress research is on males. I showed her the data from my lab, and the two of us knew instantly that we were onto something. The women cleared their schedules and started meeting with one scientist after another from various research specialties. Very quickly, Drs. Klein and Taylor discovered that by not including women in stress research, scientists had made a huge mistake: The fact that women respond to stress differently than men has significant implications for our health.
It may take some time for new studies to reveal all the ways that oxytocin encourages us to care for children and hang out with other women, but the "tend and befriend" notion developed by Drs. Klein and Taylor may explain why women consistently outlive men. Study after study has found that social ties reduce our risk of disease by lowering blood pressure, heart rate, and cholesterol. There's no doubt, says Dr. Klein, that friends are helping us live longer. In one study, for example, researchers found that people who had no friends increased their risk of death over a 6-month period.
In another study, those who had the most friends over a 9-year period cut their risk of death by more than 60%. Friends are also helping us live better. The famed Nurses' Health Study from Harvard Medical School found that the more friends women had, the less likely they were to develop physical impairments as they aged, and the more likely they were to be leading a joyful life. In fact, the results were so significant, the researchers concluded, that not having close friends or confidants was as detrimental to your health as smoking or carrying extra weight. And that's not all. When the researchers looked at how well the women functioned after the death of their spouse, they found that even in the face of this biggest stressor of all, those women who had a close friend and confidante were more likely to survive the experience without any new physical impairments or permanent loss of vitality.
Those without friends were not always so fortunate. Yet if friends counter the stress that seems to swallow up so much of our life these days, if they keep us healthy and even add years to our life, why is it so hard to find time to be with them? That's a question that also troubles researcher Ruthellen Josselson, Ph.D., co-author of Best Friends: The Pleasures and Perils of Girls' and Women's Friendships (Three Rivers Press, 1998). The following paragraph is, in my opinion, very, very true and something all women should be aware of and NOT put our female friends on the back burners. Every time we get overly busy with work and family, the first thing we do is let go of friendships with other women, explains Dr. Josselson. We push them right to the back burner. That's really a mistake because women are such a source of strength to each other. We nurture one another. And we need to have unpressured space in which we can do the special kind of talk that women do when they're with other women. It's a very healing experience. _________________________________________________________________
Taylor, S. E., Klein, L.C., Lewis, B. P., Gruenewald, T. L., Gurung, R. A. R., & Updegraff, J. A. Female Responses to Stress: Tend and Befriend, Not Fight or Flight"
Psychol Rev, 107(3):41-429. Geary DC, Flinn MV. Sex differences in behavioral and hormonal response to social threat: commentary on Taylor et al.
Psychol Rev 2002 Oct;109(4):745-50; discussion 751-3 Cousino Klein L, Corwin EJ. Seeing the unexpected: how sex differences in stress responses may provide a new perspective on the manifestation of psychiatric disorders.
Curr Psychiatry Rep. 2002 Dec;4(6):441-8.
Thursday, April 02, 2009
The Bucket List - REVISED
I did this list a while ago when I first got it as an e-mail. Since then a few other versions have floated across my screen. I just got tagged again with an updated one on FaceBook with a lot more categories to respond to, so I figured I'd add the items I left on the first time around...
I'll BOLD the ones I've actually done and put occasional comments in italics.
Gone on a blind date.
(I've made many blind choices in my life...but done very little formal "dating" blind or otherwise.)
Donated Blood
Skipped school.
(way more than I should have....)
Watched someone die
I've been touched by death several times, but not been there at the exact moment.
Been to Canada I have GREAT memories of taking my boys to Niagara Falls when they were little and then there was a fishing trip to Thessalon once that was pretty fun.
Been to Mexico
Been to Florida I really enjoyed Ft. Lauderdale, had a blast at Key Largo but I DESPISE Orlando and would feel blessed never to return. I lived in Juno Beach (just north of West Palm) for a few months one winter...lessons learned there are a story for another day.
Been to Hawaii
Been to Africa
Been on a plane
I am always a bit surprised how many people have NOT been on a plane. I've done lots. My first experience was on a little prop plane at the fair grounds when I was a kid. The pilot took people up for a nickle per pound of their body weight and took a few spins around the town so you could look down and see your house, the school, the church and all those people you knew looking like ants. This was back before air travel had become common and felt like an exhilarating rush at the time. (Yep, I'm THAT old). Since then I've been on LOTS of commercial flights. My absolute favorite was the Lufthansa flight that took us to Frankfurt, Germany on our way to Cairo. Now THAT is an airline that knows how to treat passengers like valued guests!
Been on a helicopter
Been lost
Gone to Washington, DC
Hugged a homeless person
(Did that today, as a matter of fact. One of the women in the shelter my agency runs just got a job and is taking steps toward independence. I'm really proud of her!)
Swam in the oceanAtlantic, Pacific, and Red Sea
Swam with Stingrays
Thank you NO. I admit I get a little creeped out when wild fish or other swimmy critters come close in the ocean. I once got mugged by a school of something or another at Hanauma Bay in Hawaii. Totally weird.
Been sailing in the ocean
Well, not EXACTLY. I've been on a variety of water crafts, but not a sailboat.
One of the more interesting was a "water bus" we took from the main island of Fiji out to the remote out islands of the Yasawas. Quite an interesting ride.
Broken a bone
Been in a traffic accident.
Cried yourself to sleep
Been on TV
Stole traffic signs
Played cops and robbers
Well, not exactly. But as children following the Chicago convention in '68 my sibs and I played demonstrators and police. Those taking on the "police" role wore football helmets and carried improvised billy clubs. Those being the rioting demonstrators got to run around the yard carrying placards and chanting slogans until they were chased to the ground.......
Recently colored with crayons
Sang Karaoke
Volunteered at a soup kitchen
Paid for a meal with coins only
Been to the top of the St. Louis Arch
Seen the Northern Lights
Been Para sailing
Done something you told yourself you wouldn't
from consuming one more piece of pie than I should have to engaging in a relationship that led to a seven year marital nightmare.
Made prank phone calls
Been down Bourbon Street in New Orleans
Yes, I was blessed to spend time in the town PRE-Katrina.
Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose & elsewhere.
Fed an elephant
Caught a snowflake on your tongue
Fired a gun
Danced in the rain
Been to the opera
I've seen lots of live stage plays and some excellent musicals, even the symphony but never the opera.
Written a letter to Santa Claus
Serenaded someone
Seen a US President in Person
Jimmy Carter came to my college and gave a fascinating presentation. Although I voted for him I was not the least bit impressed by his performance as commander in chief. Still, I've always respected him as a humanitarian and diplomat. He was a lousy president IMHO, but quite a remarkable human being.
Watched the sunrise with someone
Driven a race car
Been to a National Museum
Been to a Wax Museum
Eaten caviar
Been kissed under the mistletoe
Watched the sunrise with someone
Blown bubbles
Gone ice-skating
Been deep sea fishing
Driven across the United States
Been in a hot air balloon
My beloved and I had an appointment to go but flight got cancelled due to high winds. RATS! That's something I still want to do.
Gone skydiving
Why would I jump out of a perfectly good airplane?
Gone snowmobiling
Lived in more than one country
Layed down outside and admired the stars while listening to crickets
Caught fireflies in a jar
Seen a falling star and made a wish
Enjoyed the beauty of Old Faithful Geyser
Seen the Grand Canyon
Seen the Statue of Liberty
Gone to the top of the Seattle Space Needle
Nice view, but highly over-rated and not really worth the price IMHO
Been on a cruise
Travelled by train
Travelled by motorcycle
Been horseback riding
Ridden on a San Francisco Cable Car
Been to Disneyland AND Disney world
Truly believed in the power of prayer
Been in a Rain Forest
Seen whales in the ocean
Been to Niagara Falls
Ridden on an elephant
Been to the Olympics
Walked on the Great Wall of China
Someday, I hope.
Saw and heard a glacier calf
Nope, only saw the papa glaciers.
Been spinnaker flying
I don't have any idea what a spinnaker is
Been water skiing
Been snow skiing
Cross Country only
Been to Westminster Abby
Been to the Louvre
Swam in the Mediterranean
One of the few oceans I've missed
Been to a major league baseball game
Been to a National Football league game
Swam with sharks
Good gracious NO!
Been white water rafting
Written a book or a screenplay
Been skinny dipping outdoors
Gone to the movies
Yep. Plenty of times.
Have a nickname
Body piercings
Only if ears count
Other Questions:
1. Favorite drink? hot chocolate or Good Earth tea.
2. How much do you love your job? This week, things are going well. Some days, not so much.
3. Birthplace? Flagstaff, AZ
4. Favorite vacation spot? Can't pick just one...have had some great trips!
5. Ever eaten just cookies for dinner? Cereal yes, cookies, no.
6. Favorite pie? For EATING I prefer fruit pies, cherry or peach. For face splatting obviously the cream pies are best - something like coconut or Boston cream.
7. Favorite holiday? 4th of July
8. Favorite food? anything I don't have to cook.
9 Favorite smell? my husband just out of the shower, baking bread, ozone in the air mixed with grease wood and sage after a rainstorm in the desert
10. How do you relax? reading, writing, walking through wheat fields, hanging out with friends.
11. How do you see yourself in 10 years? I'll be 61, my husband will be 73. Depending on health and economics...hopefully living life with passion.
So that's my answers. How about you?
Sunday, March 22, 2009
ENDURANCE
I've been thinking a lot about endurance lately, for a number of reasons.Reason #1: We are about in the middle of Lent. While my own faith does not have any formal observations of this period before Easter, and does not give any particular significance to the season, through the influence of my Orthodox friends I have studied and pondered and practiced my own version of Lent fasts for each of the past four years. When I started out at the beginning of this Lent season I had three different things I was giving up and three other things that I was going to do differently to give myself a framework for focused spiritual growth.
I did pretty well the first couple weeks. But one by one my commitment to each of those things got increasingly shaky. Some I fell from and then got right back to doing again, others I just plain gave up on. So I've been thinking about that some.
Reason #2: The marriage of someone I know and care about recently broke up and another friend of mine is seriously considering leaving her husband. It has made me ponder the whole notion of "deal breakers". EVERY marriage has its problems. Some are worth working through. Some are not. But as I have grieved with these people over the lost dreams of their marriages in ruins it has made me wonder about when it makes sense to endure dark, difficult days and when it is better to walk away.
Whether it be a painful marriage, a stressful job, or a commitment to a group we no longer believe in or support...when is it best to stick by the promises we have made and when is it ethical and sound to change paths despite what we said we would do?
Reason #3: I was reading the book Lone Survivor for my virtual book club, Page Nibblers. My posting there describes why I gave up less than a third of the way through in reading that book that is very much about endurance.
One of the things I said over there was: "I believe some pain is there to make us stronger, and enduring that pain is ultimately for our own good. There are other kinds of pain that are there as a message to change course quick for our safety and best interest, screaming out "hey, dummy, take your hand off that hot stove!"
The trick is in sorting out which is which."
I would add to that there is also some pain that is neither instructive nor warning - it just IS. But if we can short cut that nuisance sort of pain, I certainly do not see it as character weakness. Doing things the hard way just for the sake of saying you had the chops to endure it makes no sense to me.
In reading the scriptures, there are frequent references to "enduring to the end". Flash in the pan righteousness seems to be of no interest to God. He wants people who can go the distance in being good. He wants me to learn to Endure. When I did an online word search for the word "endure" in the scriptures it showed up 53 times.
So I'm thinking a lot about the things that I am willing to endure and the things that I balk at. I'm thinking about what sort of things I tend to avoid and what things I just plain give up on.
When is it smart to walk away something negative and when should I stand my ground?
What is accomplished by enduring that which can be avoided? What limits and boundaries just plain make sense?
I gave birth both times by "natural" childbirth, choosing to forgo any pain medication that was offered. I believed it was better for me and for the baby to permit my body to experience the pain of bringing new life into the world.
Years ago I completed the Avon 3 day walk for breast cancer, walking approximately 60 miles from Enumclaw to Seattle, despite the fact that I fell and twisted my ankle the first morning out. Some said I was being foolish, that the smart thing to do would have been to get onto the rescue van in light of my injury. But I was determine to finish the event, and I did.
I finished grad school despite piles of bureacratic nonsense and hoops to jump through, but quit law school after just half a term. I am absolutely committed to my current marriage, but left my first one after seven years.
I don't like to think of myself as a quitter...but I have clearly quit on my share of paths that I had intended to pursue. Some of those made sense, in light of new information or shifted circumstances that changed my power or willingness to follow through. Some were just because the thing I set out to do got too painful or too hard.
When is endurance tenacity to be admired and when it is just plain bull headedness that goes against all common sense? What kind of criteria makes sense for determining when to hold on and when to let go?
I have no answers...but I'll keep pondering the question.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Pancake Picnic
Today has been a good day. We started out the morning with a bike ride through the wheat fields, with trusty Morgan dog running along beside us. Then we came back to the house and had a "pancake picnic." My beloved cooked the pancakes and I set up our folding picnic table out in the yard. We had our breakfast out in the open air soaking up the Spring sunshine. It was great! It occurred to me as we did this what a blessing it is to be able to appreciate simple pleasures. Granted, I'd love to have another exotic vacation to one of the many places I've longed to see ... Italy, China, or even just the Oregon coast. But right now that isn't feasible for us. Yet rather than bemoan being land-locked by our jobs and other obligations, we are finding ways to have sweet times doing vacation-like activities right where we are.It is so easy to get caught in the treadmill of the daily grind...go to work, come home, cook supper, sleep then turn around and do it all over again. I'm trying to make a point of finding ways to break up that routine - looking for little ways to create joy and appreciate beauty interspersed with our basic duties and busy schedule.
In preparation for our Stake Conference that is this weekend at our church our leaders have asked us to study two talks: "Come What May and Love It", by Joseph Wirthlin and "Hope Ya Know, We Had A Hard Time" by Quentin L. Cook. Both of these talks are great, but I must admit, initially I wasn't thrilled because on the surface it seemed both were about adversity and coping with hard times. I didn't want to think about any more gloom and doom.
YES, we are in a horrible recession. YES the natural world is being assaulted in multiple ways and our resources are in jeopardy. YES there is much pain and anguish in this world. YES, marriages are failing, corporations are failing, for many people physical health is failing. I get that. And I do acknowledge that I need to develop tools for resiliency and for withstanding those sorts of storms.
But for today, I just want to smile and think about eating pancakes in the yard and enjoy planting my flowers and be happy. I'll think about all that serious stuff another time.
However, when I finally did go back and read those articles again, it dawned on me that they are not about how to just endure misery. They really are about finding JOY despite difficulty. Especially Elder Wirthlin's talk. His council to LAUGH in the face reversals does not ask for Pollyanna denial. Instead, he is reminding us all that we can CHOOSE to keep our sense of humor even when it seems we've lost nearly everything else.
We have challenges. There is no denying that. But we also can have pancake picnics, appreciate flowers and revel in simple things. So heck with our shrinking 401K accounts and a pox on our legal issues or periodic health hiccups. At the very same time those things are nagging at our lives, we still have much to be very grateful for. I choose every day which one I will focus on. I really can look all our problems straight in the eye and continue to find joy. That's my story and I'm stickin' with it!
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Bloom Where You Are Planted
For the past two or three months I've been applying for jobs like crazy with the goal to relocate closer to family. It's not that I don't like my current job. Actually, in a lot of ways it's a pretty good fit, even though it can be frustrating at times. (As all jobs are.) However, ever since we sold our house in January I've been anxious to get settled into a new place where I could put down roots and call it HOME.
Initially we were determined to return to my native state of Arizona. My beloved has three grown sons who live there (Mesa, Casa Grande and Maricopa) and I have a whole collection of friends and extended family who I would love to be able to see more regularly.
I applied for at least a dozen jobs, several which sounded PERFECT for my skill sets. None of them ever expressed even a nibble of interest.
So, finally, reluctantly, I gave up on the dream of AZ, accepting the fact that in our current economy it just isn't likely that I'm going to snag a job down there when there are literally THOUSANDS of people looking for work.
Next I set my sights on Idaho. Both my husband and I have siblings there. I also have a cousin and he has a niece and a nephew. We like the Boise area, and felt like that would be a good spot for us to end up. Again I threw my name out there for a few different job. Again nothing.
Then yesterday I got yet another "We don't pick you" letter for a job in Tri-Cities that I was SURE I would at least get an interview for. (That one did not have family, but was for a full time teaching job I had thought I had a shot at.)
So I'm letting of some dreams, accepting these are things I just don't get, at least not now. My days of working for a college may indeed be over. My chance to live close to my kin seems to have slipped through my grasp.
My emotions have tumbled all over the place about that.
On the positive side, my husband has a good job here with great benefits that we would not be able to replace if we moved. One of the perks of that job is the opportunity to live out here on the farm where we moved this past July. The down side of renting this old farmhouse is that it's not ours, so we can't do some of the things we would like. But the upside is that we get to live in a place so full of peace and beauty it really does make up for a lot. I do worry about where we will go once he retires, when we will no longer be able to stay here. But we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.
I really, REALLY like the congregation we are currently attending. We have developed friendships we care about. With the exception of this past winter which was just plain awful, we generally like the climate here.
There is much to be grateful for in our current circumstances. Still, this is NOT where either one of us ever wanted to land long term. This was supposed to be our transitional place for a short time while we made other plans. Now it's seeming more like that "temporary" transition is shifting to be something way different.
I come and go with being ok with that. I am truly grateful for the blessings I do have here. Still... I had so hoped to be able to begin our next chapter, to find a place of our choosing to settle in strong so we could be well established as we approach our old age.
I'm trying to wrap my mind around accepting that THIS s where I live and probably will be for years to come. In the words of John Lennon, life is what happens to you while making other plans. I'm trying to be more focused on where I AM instead of where I wanted to be. I am determined to bloom where I'm planted, even if it's not the pot I would prefer.
I'm trying to shift from disappointment to acceptance. I'm trying to put more energy into recognizing the good that I do have here, and less focus on the sting of what I wished for but did not get. It will come. I will bloom where I am planted. I'm determined to. But getting there will not be without some bumps.
Initially we were determined to return to my native state of Arizona. My beloved has three grown sons who live there (Mesa, Casa Grande and Maricopa) and I have a whole collection of friends and extended family who I would love to be able to see more regularly.
I applied for at least a dozen jobs, several which sounded PERFECT for my skill sets. None of them ever expressed even a nibble of interest.
So, finally, reluctantly, I gave up on the dream of AZ, accepting the fact that in our current economy it just isn't likely that I'm going to snag a job down there when there are literally THOUSANDS of people looking for work.
Next I set my sights on Idaho. Both my husband and I have siblings there. I also have a cousin and he has a niece and a nephew. We like the Boise area, and felt like that would be a good spot for us to end up. Again I threw my name out there for a few different job. Again nothing.
Then yesterday I got yet another "We don't pick you" letter for a job in Tri-Cities that I was SURE I would at least get an interview for. (That one did not have family, but was for a full time teaching job I had thought I had a shot at.)
So I'm letting of some dreams, accepting these are things I just don't get, at least not now. My days of working for a college may indeed be over. My chance to live close to my kin seems to have slipped through my grasp.
My emotions have tumbled all over the place about that.
On the positive side, my husband has a good job here with great benefits that we would not be able to replace if we moved. One of the perks of that job is the opportunity to live out here on the farm where we moved this past July. The down side of renting this old farmhouse is that it's not ours, so we can't do some of the things we would like. But the upside is that we get to live in a place so full of peace and beauty it really does make up for a lot. I do worry about where we will go once he retires, when we will no longer be able to stay here. But we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.
I really, REALLY like the congregation we are currently attending. We have developed friendships we care about. With the exception of this past winter which was just plain awful, we generally like the climate here.
There is much to be grateful for in our current circumstances. Still, this is NOT where either one of us ever wanted to land long term. This was supposed to be our transitional place for a short time while we made other plans. Now it's seeming more like that "temporary" transition is shifting to be something way different.
I come and go with being ok with that. I am truly grateful for the blessings I do have here. Still... I had so hoped to be able to begin our next chapter, to find a place of our choosing to settle in strong so we could be well established as we approach our old age.
I'm trying to wrap my mind around accepting that THIS s where I live and probably will be for years to come. In the words of John Lennon, life is what happens to you while making other plans. I'm trying to be more focused on where I AM instead of where I wanted to be. I am determined to bloom where I'm planted, even if it's not the pot I would prefer.
I'm trying to shift from disappointment to acceptance. I'm trying to put more energy into recognizing the good that I do have here, and less focus on the sting of what I wished for but did not get. It will come. I will bloom where I am planted. I'm determined to. But getting there will not be without some bumps.
Monday, March 09, 2009
Daylight Savings Time
An oldie but a goodie that seems worth pulling out at this time of year.
My 2006 Post on Daylight Savings Time.
Saturday, March 07, 2009
Artistic Integrity
My pal Jaquandor brought up an interesting point over on Byzantium Shores. Apparently there is a new Star Trek movie coming out. However, THIS movie takes some pretty big liberties with the back story of primary characters from the legendary cult classic. In Kelly's words, "Kirk is apparently the delinquent doofus who gets pushed into enlisting by someone else."
So, just to play devil's advocate, I challenged him on whether this was unrealistic or not. Which started us both thinking a bit more on the issues at stake.
What I'm trying to figure out now is whether or not I agree that there is any sort of ethical or artistic obligation to keep true to established characters in a work of fiction, or whether it might be acceptable to KEEP the same names and basic framework, yet re-invent the way the people interact or what their backstory is.
What do you think?
Monday, March 02, 2009
My Faith Firsts
Here's a different sort of meme...I got this one from Jaquandor who tagged me with it over on facebook.
Memes are usually fun little diversions for giving brief list type answers, not really something for serious reflection. But this one strikes me as something worth exploring a bit deeper...so here goes.
1. Who gave you your first Bible?
My maternal grandmother gave me one for my eighth birthday. I don't remember Grandma ever being particularly religious. I never saw her pray or go to any church. But yep, she gave me my first scriptures that were my very own. I still have it.
I have always been a King James Version reader, and in recent years exclusively have read the LDS version that has full footnoting to our other "Standard Works", Bible Dictionary and Topical Guide. I've read bits and pieces in other versions, but the modern ones just don't connect with me like KJV.
2. When and where did you receive your first Communion?
I was raised LDS and we don't do that.
3. What was the first prayer you were taught?
While I certainly did learn about the Lord's Prayer, we don't do memorized rote prayers. Our prayers are more a spontaneous conversation with a loving Father in Heaven. When I was a kid I WAS taught a special formula to know what to pray about. I was told to use my hand as a reminder of how to pray:
1) Thumb is closest to you - so pray for your family and friends, the people close to your heart
2) Index finger is the pointer, pray for your teachers and church leaders who show you the way
3) Middle finger is the tallest - pray for world leaders that they will make good decisions and lead us righteously
4) Ring finger is the weakest - pray for those that are weak, anyone sick, poor, lost - all the sad people who are crying and need God's love
5) Pinkie finger is smallest - but your hand would not be whole without it. Even when you feel small and unimportant, know that in God's eyes you are very special and that Christ's atonement and sacrifice were not just for the world - it was also for you is a specific, personal way. Pray for yourself, for what you need, for what you are thankful for, for whatever concerns you may have.
I honestly don't remember who taught me that little piece, but I remember the lesson and used it for years.
4. What was the first church you attended?
My parents converted to the LDS faith the year before I was born, so that is the church they took me to as a baby and young child. By the time I was old enough to form solid memories my dad had dropped away from church activity and never again went to any organized religion. My mom continued to go as much as she could manage with her five wild kids in tow.
In the summers all of us kids went to Vacation Bible School at the nearby Four Square Gospel church - I think just to give our poor mom a break. It was close by and it was free, it involved bible verses and songs about Jesus so she figured it was a suitable place to ship off her brood so she could get some peace and quiet for a bit.
When I was in my teens I got rebellious and quite going to church with my mom. Later I did a bit of church shopping, alternately attending various faiths with my friends. I was intrigued, but none of them really fit for me. I took comparative world religion class in college and that led me to doing quite a bit of reading about eastern religions. Still, from about 18-25 I was a hard core agnostic.
I came back to the LDS faith when I met my sweet husband who came from a family of Utah Mormons with ancestors who had walked across the plains. I had no desire to get involved at first - just started out doing some reading to learn about it so I would better understand him. I considered the LDS faith my mother's church but really didn't think it had anything to do with me. In no way did it feel like renewing something that had once been my own. I had a little bit of background, but no true understanding of it. Initially I approached it with rather jaded, cynical eyes.
Somewhere along the way, however, I had some key experiences, some answers to prayers, some witness of the Holy Spirit that shifted my views. I developed a testimony of the LDS faith that continued to grow over the years and I have been active now for nearly 28 years.
I still occasionally will go to other churches. I plan to attend Pascha services with my Orthodox friends again this year. I have attended other services with different friends. But I am very, very seriously committed to my own faith.
5. What was the first Bible passage/story that became meaningful to you? There was a lady who lived next door to us who used to help me memorize scriptures for Primary. I still remember her helping me learn several different scriptures that were assigned, so some of them dance in my head. But the fondness I have for those passages is based more on my memory of that time with her than it is focusing on the scriptures themselves. As an adult, a scripture that has been powerful for me is from the Book of Mormon Mosiah 27:29 - My soul hath been redeemed from the gall of bitterness and bonds of iniquity. I was in the darkest abyss; but now I behold the marvelous light of God. My soul was racked with eternal torment; but I am snatched, and my soul is pained no more."
I guess I can relate to that one because like Alma the younger and the sons of Mosiah, I went through a dark season when I was making choices that cut my life of from light of Christ. Then some stuff happened and my life completely shifted for the better. I was not struck down by an angel, but I did have some very powerful experiences that entirely changed my perspective on faith and life in general. I became converted in the true meaning of the word, in that I experienced a mighty change of heart. I am ever so grateful for knowing what I now know.
6. What was the first miracle you experienced?
This is very personal, very sacred to me and not something I readily share in public.
7. Where and when were you baptized?
I was baptized in Flagstaff, AZ at the age of eight, which is considered the age of accountability in my faith.
I could never understand why other faiths would baptize little babies. I was always taught that baptism was an outward symbol for washing away our sins, and I don't believe babies are capable of sin. They can't repent or develop faith at that early age, so baptising infants has always felt just weird to me. More recently I've come to understand it better - how for some faiths baptism of infants is more a matter of the parents making a commitment to raise the child in the faith, it's sort of like dedicating the child to God. But for those that believe the child will not be accepted back into the full presence of God if they should happen to die without baptism just feels wrong to me.
One of the things I'm wrestling with in my own faith right now is the challenge of understanding my obligation to share what I believe with others. I am quite open to answering questions regarding my faith if asked or to share my experiences with anyone who indicates they are interested. However, I am not one to try to open doors to conversation about my religious beliefs with others unless they clearly show it would be welcome.
In principle I believe in Missionary Work, but in practice I lean heavily on the 11th Article of Faith which says: We claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may.
I do believe the truth I have been taught is precious and that it is important that I share that truth with others. Yet I also respect that other folks believe other things and I am very sensitive to not being too intrusive. However, lately I'm wrestling with trying to sort how much of that is really sensitivity or respect for others beliefs, and how much of it is just plain fear because I don't want people to think I'm weird or pushy.
Sometimes it feels arrogant to me for me to presume that what I believe is more correct and therefore superior to what someone else might believe. I tend to take the policy of saying "this is the spiritual path that fits for me and I find it very meaningful. But if you have a different spiritual path, or even no spiritual path at all, I can respect your choice." I've internalized a huge dose of cultural relativity over the years, accept that different people have different ways of living, believing, thinking and presuming that's just fine.
But if I honestly believe what I say I believe...well, then baptism by those who are in authority IS essential for EVERYONE. If I don't share that knowledge with others unless they ask about it first, what does that say about me?
Our ward has an "Invitation Sunday" coming up that all of are being challenged to invite someone we know to church. We've been counselled to make a list of all our friends and associates and prayerfully consider who on that list we can invite. I have been prayerfully considering this, but am struggling with it more than I care to admit. I think in some ways it would be easier to knock on doors and talk to strangers about the gospel than it is to try to share with my non-member friends.
Part of what holds me back is fear. I don't want them to reject me. I also resist because I pre-judge, saying to myself "Oh, he wouldn't be interested" or "she has her own beliefs and is not open to changing them" without ever trying to broach the subject in even the most general of terms. So maybe a first I could add to this list would be
Who was the first person you introduced to your church?
We've had missionaries in our home teaching people before, but that's always been someone who was already an established investigator. It would be something very different to be able to introduce someone I know to my faith. We'll see how that goes...
Memes are usually fun little diversions for giving brief list type answers, not really something for serious reflection. But this one strikes me as something worth exploring a bit deeper...so here goes.
1. Who gave you your first Bible?
My maternal grandmother gave me one for my eighth birthday. I don't remember Grandma ever being particularly religious. I never saw her pray or go to any church. But yep, she gave me my first scriptures that were my very own. I still have it.
I have always been a King James Version reader, and in recent years exclusively have read the LDS version that has full footnoting to our other "Standard Works", Bible Dictionary and Topical Guide. I've read bits and pieces in other versions, but the modern ones just don't connect with me like KJV.
2. When and where did you receive your first Communion?
I was raised LDS and we don't do that.
3. What was the first prayer you were taught?
While I certainly did learn about the Lord's Prayer, we don't do memorized rote prayers. Our prayers are more a spontaneous conversation with a loving Father in Heaven. When I was a kid I WAS taught a special formula to know what to pray about. I was told to use my hand as a reminder of how to pray:
1) Thumb is closest to you - so pray for your family and friends, the people close to your heart
2) Index finger is the pointer, pray for your teachers and church leaders who show you the way
3) Middle finger is the tallest - pray for world leaders that they will make good decisions and lead us righteously
4) Ring finger is the weakest - pray for those that are weak, anyone sick, poor, lost - all the sad people who are crying and need God's love
5) Pinkie finger is smallest - but your hand would not be whole without it. Even when you feel small and unimportant, know that in God's eyes you are very special and that Christ's atonement and sacrifice were not just for the world - it was also for you is a specific, personal way. Pray for yourself, for what you need, for what you are thankful for, for whatever concerns you may have.
I honestly don't remember who taught me that little piece, but I remember the lesson and used it for years.
4. What was the first church you attended?
My parents converted to the LDS faith the year before I was born, so that is the church they took me to as a baby and young child. By the time I was old enough to form solid memories my dad had dropped away from church activity and never again went to any organized religion. My mom continued to go as much as she could manage with her five wild kids in tow.
In the summers all of us kids went to Vacation Bible School at the nearby Four Square Gospel church - I think just to give our poor mom a break. It was close by and it was free, it involved bible verses and songs about Jesus so she figured it was a suitable place to ship off her brood so she could get some peace and quiet for a bit.
When I was in my teens I got rebellious and quite going to church with my mom. Later I did a bit of church shopping, alternately attending various faiths with my friends. I was intrigued, but none of them really fit for me. I took comparative world religion class in college and that led me to doing quite a bit of reading about eastern religions. Still, from about 18-25 I was a hard core agnostic.
I came back to the LDS faith when I met my sweet husband who came from a family of Utah Mormons with ancestors who had walked across the plains. I had no desire to get involved at first - just started out doing some reading to learn about it so I would better understand him. I considered the LDS faith my mother's church but really didn't think it had anything to do with me. In no way did it feel like renewing something that had once been my own. I had a little bit of background, but no true understanding of it. Initially I approached it with rather jaded, cynical eyes.
Somewhere along the way, however, I had some key experiences, some answers to prayers, some witness of the Holy Spirit that shifted my views. I developed a testimony of the LDS faith that continued to grow over the years and I have been active now for nearly 28 years.
I still occasionally will go to other churches. I plan to attend Pascha services with my Orthodox friends again this year. I have attended other services with different friends. But I am very, very seriously committed to my own faith.
5. What was the first Bible passage/story that became meaningful to you? There was a lady who lived next door to us who used to help me memorize scriptures for Primary. I still remember her helping me learn several different scriptures that were assigned, so some of them dance in my head. But the fondness I have for those passages is based more on my memory of that time with her than it is focusing on the scriptures themselves. As an adult, a scripture that has been powerful for me is from the Book of Mormon Mosiah 27:29 - My soul hath been redeemed from the gall of bitterness and bonds of iniquity. I was in the darkest abyss; but now I behold the marvelous light of God. My soul was racked with eternal torment; but I am snatched, and my soul is pained no more."
I guess I can relate to that one because like Alma the younger and the sons of Mosiah, I went through a dark season when I was making choices that cut my life of from light of Christ. Then some stuff happened and my life completely shifted for the better. I was not struck down by an angel, but I did have some very powerful experiences that entirely changed my perspective on faith and life in general. I became converted in the true meaning of the word, in that I experienced a mighty change of heart. I am ever so grateful for knowing what I now know.
6. What was the first miracle you experienced?
This is very personal, very sacred to me and not something I readily share in public.
7. Where and when were you baptized?
I was baptized in Flagstaff, AZ at the age of eight, which is considered the age of accountability in my faith.
I could never understand why other faiths would baptize little babies. I was always taught that baptism was an outward symbol for washing away our sins, and I don't believe babies are capable of sin. They can't repent or develop faith at that early age, so baptising infants has always felt just weird to me. More recently I've come to understand it better - how for some faiths baptism of infants is more a matter of the parents making a commitment to raise the child in the faith, it's sort of like dedicating the child to God. But for those that believe the child will not be accepted back into the full presence of God if they should happen to die without baptism just feels wrong to me.
One of the things I'm wrestling with in my own faith right now is the challenge of understanding my obligation to share what I believe with others. I am quite open to answering questions regarding my faith if asked or to share my experiences with anyone who indicates they are interested. However, I am not one to try to open doors to conversation about my religious beliefs with others unless they clearly show it would be welcome.
In principle I believe in Missionary Work, but in practice I lean heavily on the 11th Article of Faith which says: We claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may.
I do believe the truth I have been taught is precious and that it is important that I share that truth with others. Yet I also respect that other folks believe other things and I am very sensitive to not being too intrusive. However, lately I'm wrestling with trying to sort how much of that is really sensitivity or respect for others beliefs, and how much of it is just plain fear because I don't want people to think I'm weird or pushy.
Sometimes it feels arrogant to me for me to presume that what I believe is more correct and therefore superior to what someone else might believe. I tend to take the policy of saying "this is the spiritual path that fits for me and I find it very meaningful. But if you have a different spiritual path, or even no spiritual path at all, I can respect your choice." I've internalized a huge dose of cultural relativity over the years, accept that different people have different ways of living, believing, thinking and presuming that's just fine.
But if I honestly believe what I say I believe...well, then baptism by those who are in authority IS essential for EVERYONE. If I don't share that knowledge with others unless they ask about it first, what does that say about me?
Our ward has an "Invitation Sunday" coming up that all of are being challenged to invite someone we know to church. We've been counselled to make a list of all our friends and associates and prayerfully consider who on that list we can invite. I have been prayerfully considering this, but am struggling with it more than I care to admit. I think in some ways it would be easier to knock on doors and talk to strangers about the gospel than it is to try to share with my non-member friends.
Part of what holds me back is fear. I don't want them to reject me. I also resist because I pre-judge, saying to myself "Oh, he wouldn't be interested" or "she has her own beliefs and is not open to changing them" without ever trying to broach the subject in even the most general of terms. So maybe a first I could add to this list would be
Who was the first person you introduced to your church?
We've had missionaries in our home teaching people before, but that's always been someone who was already an established investigator. It would be something very different to be able to introduce someone I know to my faith. We'll see how that goes...
Sunday, March 01, 2009
Old Clothes
Question - What is the longest you have had any article of clothing that you currently wear?
As I was getting dressed for church this morning it occured to me that the dress I put on is one I wore to my younger son's wedding...considering his daughter is 14 yrs old, it's been hanging in my closet (and been worn a few times every year) for quite some time. It's comfortable and looks nice without being too fancy. I take good care of it so it's not worn out. But at what point will I say enough is enough and retire it?
I guess I've never understood why some people feel they need to get a whole new wardrobe every year or two. I pick up new things now and again, more often buying new-to-me things at vintage or consignment shops. But having the latest fashion trend just never did impress me much. Still...I'm thinking 15 yrs is long enough for one garment. I definitely think I got my money's worth on this one.
As I was getting dressed for church this morning it occured to me that the dress I put on is one I wore to my younger son's wedding...considering his daughter is 14 yrs old, it's been hanging in my closet (and been worn a few times every year) for quite some time. It's comfortable and looks nice without being too fancy. I take good care of it so it's not worn out. But at what point will I say enough is enough and retire it?
I guess I've never understood why some people feel they need to get a whole new wardrobe every year or two. I pick up new things now and again, more often buying new-to-me things at vintage or consignment shops. But having the latest fashion trend just never did impress me much. Still...I'm thinking 15 yrs is long enough for one garment. I definitely think I got my money's worth on this one.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Pink Slip
I'm starting a new research project. This is something I've toyed with on and off for some time. I want to explore how we define work - what it gives to us and what it costs us. How do people decide what kinds of work they will or will not do? How do gender, age, religiosity, economic status shape our attitudes about work?
Almost every job has good things and bad things about ...how do we decide when there is more bad than good and know it is time to walk away from a nasty job? (Think Mike Rowe's Dirty jobs or the superbowl commercial for Monster.com) What factors increase our loyalty to our jobs despite the problems?
Particularly in this economy I think it matters to explore more in depth the consequence to the individual, the community and the nation when jobs are lost.
The working title of this thing is "Pink Slip"...will start out with some personal narratives from individuals who have lost jobs and then some who have made the decision to radically change the type of work they do. Then I'll weave in and out of the sociology & psychology of looking for work. I'll address the hope and the fear that are inherent with putting yourself out there to be chosen or not chosen by the powers that be. I'll compare that to the feelings people have about retirement at the end of their careers.
I have some ideas about how I want to pull this off, but it's still very much in the beginning stages. We'll see where it goes....
If you happen to personally know anyone who might be open to being interviewed online or over the phone who fits one the categories below - please let me know!
Looking for those who
a) lost a job in the past year
b) is trying to change professions
c) retired in the past year
Almost every job has good things and bad things about ...how do we decide when there is more bad than good and know it is time to walk away from a nasty job? (Think Mike Rowe's Dirty jobs or the superbowl commercial for Monster.com) What factors increase our loyalty to our jobs despite the problems?
Particularly in this economy I think it matters to explore more in depth the consequence to the individual, the community and the nation when jobs are lost.
The working title of this thing is "Pink Slip"...will start out with some personal narratives from individuals who have lost jobs and then some who have made the decision to radically change the type of work they do. Then I'll weave in and out of the sociology & psychology of looking for work. I'll address the hope and the fear that are inherent with putting yourself out there to be chosen or not chosen by the powers that be. I'll compare that to the feelings people have about retirement at the end of their careers.
I have some ideas about how I want to pull this off, but it's still very much in the beginning stages. We'll see where it goes....
If you happen to personally know anyone who might be open to being interviewed online or over the phone who fits one the categories below - please let me know!
Looking for those who
a) lost a job in the past year
b) is trying to change professions
c) retired in the past year
Monday, February 16, 2009
Days Go Tumbling By
Here we are in the middle of February 2009. I find myself absolutely astonished. I swear it feels like just the other day I was packing away my Christmas decorations (which I did before new years.) How did a whole month and a half get past me since then? The days seem to be spinning by faster and faster. Whole seasons sweep by me these days before I have time to take notice. I want to say SLOW DOWN, but instead I just jump on as best as I can and take my turn on the tilt of whirl of time.
As a child I can remember a week seeming to last FOREVER. Summer vacation was an eternity.
Not now. Why is that? We have all these "time saving" devises that that our pioneer mothers never dreamed of. Yet we are a people more rushed and hurried than any other.
Is it just me or do you feel scattered and overwhelmed by how fast thing seem to be going?
As a child I can remember a week seeming to last FOREVER. Summer vacation was an eternity.
Not now. Why is that? We have all these "time saving" devises that that our pioneer mothers never dreamed of. Yet we are a people more rushed and hurried than any other.
Is it just me or do you feel scattered and overwhelmed by how fast thing seem to be going?
Monday, February 09, 2009
Scarlet Fever on the Rise
Last week my three year old grandson had Scarlet Fever. Yeah. I sorta freaked when I heard. But I was also really surprised. My reaction was much like that of Andrea's who said when she heard about it: "Is that still around? Yikes! I thought that went out with washboards and butter churns." Well, apparently people DO still get it, and it seems to be on the rise.
The thing is, it is no more and no less dangerous than strep throat. Actually it comes from the same bacteria.
While I often have concerns about the over use of anti-biotics, in this case I was very grateful that our little boy could get appropriate medical care and get this under control relatively quickly. He's on the mend now and they do not expect any residual effects from the illness.
Saturday, February 07, 2009
National Pie Day immoralized
Anyone who has read this blog regularly knows I have a writer friend in Buffalo, NY by the name of Kelly Sedinger (AKA Jaquandor) who maintains the blog Byzantiam Shores. Kelly and I chat on occasion via facebook and shuffle e-mails back and forth on a variety of topics. What you may not know is how we were introduced. We share a common appreciation for a good Pie In The Face. I've written on this blog about how I have the quirky tradition of getting hit by a pie for my birthday each year. Kelly doesn't reserve it for birthdays, but has on occasion enjoyed a good gooey smack. Apparently a couple years ago he did a google search for Pie-in-the-face which led him to me. We've been talking ever since.
Anyway, since January 23rd was designated as National Pie Day, rather than spend the day baking, Kelly decided it was a suitable time to honor with a grand scale pie assault. I must admit, I was IMPRESSED when I saw the evidence. I have never done multiple pies in one event. It appears from the video that he enjoyed it thoroughly.
Because we live a continent apart Kelly and I have yet to meet in person. But we both are determined that one day we will, and of course when it happens, we plan to make one heck of a mess with a mutual pie assault.
You can see Kelly Sedinger's 2009 National Pie Day celebration over on YouTube at THIS link.
I totally support mutually agreed upon pie-in-the-face frivolity. Here are some grand examples of that.
SOUPY SALES
Barbara Mandrell
(One of my all time favorites is Lucille Ball, but I could not find an image of her classic pie work.)
I do NOT support sneak attack assult pies like these:
ANITA BRYANT
BILL GATES
So as long as it's done by mutual consent and all in good fun - Let the pies fly!
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