For a while now I've been bopping back and forth between my two blogs. I tended to use this one to discuss social issues or "big ideas" of one sort or another (although I admit some of the postings were just pure nonsense). The OTHER blog I had for my personal stuff, family news, Spirituality, etc.
But lately I've chosen to quit flipping back and forth and just stick with this one.
There is the danger that the people who were reading my old blog who were only interested in my family/faith posting will be put off by my urgent pleas for social justice. There is an equal possibility that my readers who came for more serious fare here will be put off by my fluff comments about my dog or my angst about my hair. But the bottom line for me was to figure out why I was blogging to begin with. I did a little musing to figure out whether I wanted to continue at all and what sort of purpose it served for me.
I've never held out any pretense that this was fine writing. It's the babbling of a middle aged lady about what I think, what I am curious about, what feels important to me, or just what happens to catch my fancy on a particular day. I'm not really expecting to achieve some grand audience. And that's ok.
I have a faithful few who check in from time to time. And then there are the teaming masses who find a link on things like pie-in-the face forum or LDS women bloggers or some other such thing. Most of those come by once and then disappear.
But that's ok too. Because in the end, I am not writing to woo an audience. I am writing to discover my own voice. Many times it is only by expressing things into words that I become really certain of how all the feelings fit inside.
This blogging thing creates an odd community out of us complete strangers. I've enjoyed exploring, learning things from others like Spoke & PJ, Pondering Pig & Patrushka, my overall clad friend jaquandor, along with others I regularly read.
But the bottom line is that I know MYSELF better as a result of the writing, because I expose myself to myself right along exposing my thoughts, opinions, ideas and emotions to all of you.
So, for me, I think it makes sense to begin to take a more integrated approach to this blog - rather than continuing to speak with different voices between BelladonnaPiranha and Lynda B. I really am one and the same. So I'm closing up shop over at Apprentice Human, my very first blog.
I'm ready to admit I've got all sorts of contradictions and uncertainties, so this most certainly will not come off as cohesive, consistent or whole. It will go right on being a little scattered, sometimes downright fractured, sorta like me.
I'll bore some and maybe offend some. I don't doubt that some will stray away. But for those that stay... know I appreciate your comments; Thank you for walking with me a ways on this blogger journey. And for those with blogs of your own, you can trust that I will continue to peek in from time to time there.
Even though I'm keeping THIS blog under THIS title, just because it's the one with all the links already set up that I refer to on a regular basis, I am still an Apprentice Human, just trying my best to learn how to make my way in this crazy old world.