30 Years

Thirty years ago today I married my best friend. I am stunned at how blessed we have been in this relationship. I feel so honored to have had the opportunity to share these three decades with this man. He makes me laugh. He has incredible integrity. He has a phenomenal work ethic and did an amazing job of supporting two families for many years. Now that he is retired he continues to be a phenomenal father and husband. He is a huge support to me in more ways than I can count. Yes, I love him deeply. Beyond that, I genuinely LIKE this guy. We are not just hanging out together. We are truly a team and both of us are better people because of the union we share. My life has been surrounded by so much trust, kindness and possibility because of him. In good times and dark times, we both lift each other up. Happy anniversary my beloved. May we have many, many more years to come.

Book Review - Assassination of Governor Boggs

I just finished reading "The Assassination of Governor Boggs" by Rod Miller. I was asked to review this by my publicist friend, Tristi Pinkston who will link to this post over on her virtual book tour page. I took a peek at what some of the other reviewers there had to say about the book and was interested to see an interview with the author among them.

This book presents an interesting blend of genres, offering up historical fiction from a mystery/detective approach with some of the style of a western gunslinger tale thrown in for good measure.

The book is a fascinating read. It serves up a fictional character, one Calvin Pogue who works for the renowned Pinkerton detective agency from Chicago who has been assigned to investigate a cold case: the very real failed assassination attempt of Lilburn Boggs, who served as the the sixth Governor of Missouri from 1836 to 1840.

In real life, the culprit who shot Governor Boggs in Independence, MO in May of 1942 was never apprehended, although there was rampant speculation that the crime may have been committed by one Orrin Porter Rockwell, a faithful defender of Mormon leaders Joseph Smith and Brigham Young, and a major character throughout this book.

Governor Boggs was involved in many different issues and events of his day, but is perhaps best remembered as the one who issued the "Mormon Extermination Order"

From Wikipedia: Missouri Executive Order 44, also known as the "Mormon Extermination Order"[1] (alt. exterminating order)[2] in Latter Day Saint history, was an executive order issued on October 27, 1838 by the governor of Missouri, Lilburn Boggs. The directive was issued in the aftermath of the Battle of Crooked River, a clash between Mormons and a unit of the Missouri State Guard in northern Ray County, Missouri, during the so-called "Mormon War" of 1838. Insisting that the Mormons had committed "open and avowed defiance of the laws", and had "made war upon the people of this State," Boggs precipitously directed that "the Mormons must be treated as enemies, and must be exterminated or driven from the State if necessary for the public peace—their outrages are beyond all description."

To this day there are many LDS people who hear the name Lilburn Boggs and think of him as a monster who was the cause of the suffering and death by starvation of many who had to flee their homes following the order. So it is no small wonder that at the time he was shot the bad feelings between Boggs and the Mormon people would lead to speculation about motive for the crime.

In this book the investigation into the shooting of Boggs that very nearly did take his life occurs 20 years after the fact. Upon the death of Governor Boggs, his family hires the Pinkerton Detective Agency to determine once and for all who shot Lilburn all those years ago. They are aware that the statute of limitations on attempted murder had long since passed so it is not a matter of bringing the assailant to justice. They do, however, have a deep desire to put the matter to rest once and for all by knowing who was responsible.

Pogue travels by stagecoach and train to various locations (Independence, MO, Navoo, IL and Salt Lake City, UT and the California gold lands) to interview every person he can find who might be able to shed some light on those long past events. Some of the characters we meet through these interviews are

Sam Brannon

Jacob Wright Harlan

Emma Smith








One of the primary voices in each chapter in that of Porter Rockwell himself, the man who many believed was the shooter.

There is much about this book I liked very much. It's a strong narrative that held my interest. I especially felt a connection with the detective, Calvin Pogue, and loved the detail of his ever vigilant lookout for all manner of toy horses in every town he visited that he would mail with loving letters to his young daughter back in Chicago.

I had read in some of the other reviews for the story that there would be a dramatic "suprise ending", but I NEVER saw coming what actually unfolded.

What made me squirm a bit as I was reading was the whole issue of "historical fiction". Unlike some of that genre, this book has absolutely no footnotes or end pages that detail sources for the historical part to allow the reader to sort it out cleanly from the fiction part. So there were several points where I was left simply wondering "Did that really happen??" That was uncomfortably unsettling for me.

I LOVE reading fiction. I also enjoy reading history. Generally speaking, however, I like to know which is which.

Still, even with that caveat, I can heartily recommend this book. It's a worthy read. Now I'll be off to do a bit more research of my own to see what I can learn about some of these characters.

You can purchase this book at Deseret Book or on Amazon.com

Scanning Madness

About a month ago or there abouts I received eight boxes that were delivered to my doorstep by fed ex. Every one of the boxes pictured here were crammed full with photographs, documents, letters and personal papers going back three generations in my family. These boxes held the collection of genealogy, photo albums and various STUFF that had belong to my mother, her mother, and her mother before her. My aunt and uncle had gathered it all up from my grandmother's house in Cottonwood, AZ after her death in 1988. They sorted through it some, but it has mostly sat in boxes for over 20 years. Finally they decided something should be done with the collection, so they sent it all to me.

Oh my.

There are some absolute TREASURES in these boxes. There are photographs I had never seen or knew even existed. However, those treasures are mixed in with a whole lot of...um, junk. At least it is junk to me. My mother had the best of intentions, but she didn't have much sense of order. And, it would appear, she came by that habit honestly. Her mother's records are no more organized than my mom's.

So I've been spending LOTS of time going through these boxes piece by piece by piece, trying to sort out what is there - separating the wheat from the chaff. I've thrown away a lot of stuff. (Multiple copies of many photographs, EVERY card my mother got at her wedding, 15 copies of the newspaper that had her engagement photo in it, along with lots of old correspondence with strangers trying to track down various genealogy leads. (Thank you God for making research a whole lot easier these days since the invention of the internet.)

For the first couple weeks after the boxes came the contents took over every horizontal surface of my house as I painstakingly separated things out into specific piles: grandma photos here, Mom's sibs over there, my sibs in this pile, various cousins over there.

Sadly, there were quite a few of the really old pictures I have no idea whatsoever who they are of - including five tintypes that I suspect belonged to my great grandmother.

However, for pictures that I DO recognize I am absolutely determined to get them all cataloged so that when I go pinchers up no one will find stacks and stacks of boxes of disorganized clutter peppered with family treasures. That's one family tradition I'd just as soon not take on.

So I've been scanning all photos and posting quite a few of them onto the family blog that I started a while back. Then I mailed out several boxes to give pictures back to the various family groups they came from. Little by little I am whittling away at my piles.

I've reclaimed my living room and there are no more pictures on the dining room table. My office however, is still more than a catastrophe. There is simply no way I know to get through this project without making one heck of a mess.

I'll be glad when I get it done and can get my work space back in order. But right now I am incredibly thankful for the treasures of family images and records that have been gifted to me. It has been a fascinating process to go through it all.

I just wish I could find my desk.

Fringe Benefits

My beloved and I have been looking at various options for purchasing private health insurance. As it turns out, the group policy available to ME at my new job is ok (not great by any means) and offered at a tolerable cost. However, it becomes exorbitant if I want to have my husband covered too. My employer subsidizes the cost for employee group coverage, but not for their family members. So we've been reading the fine print for various medicare supplement programs and prescription only policies to see what we can afford.

We got incredibly spoiled by the insurance that we had in Oregon. We paid NOTHING (one of the wonderful benefits of having my husband work for the state-they picked up the full tab!) and we received very generous coverage for medical, dental and vision. They even covered my husband's adult son with a disability who lived in a different state. Sadly,those days are long gone.

Now we will be balancing high premiums, higher deductibles, higher co-pays and reduced coverage which means basically we'll be crossing our fingers and hoping we don't get sick. It makes me far more sympathetic toward the MANY people in this country who have no insurance at all. Getting decent medical coverage is a major motivating factor why many people continue working beyond retirement age. Unfortunately, more and more employers are cutting corners on what sorts of coverage they can offer in these days when it seems everyone is being asked to do more with less.

I DID, however, find out about a different kind of fringe benefit at my new job that had never been explained to me when I was hired. There is a sweet little lady who makes homemade tamales that comes by every so often to sell her wares to the employees. I picked up a dozen (6 pork and 6 beef) from her today and just finished having them for supper. Delicious!

Would I trade that opportunity for better insurance if I could? Most certainly! But here's the thing. I can't. So I might as well make my peace with higher cost/lower coverage insurance because that is the shape of my new reality. In SO many ways this job is a million times better than my former position - so what's the point in complaining about the areas where it does not measure up?

I had a really good day at work today. I'm finally getting past the absolute deer-in-the-headlight stupor of my first weeks of being in a foreign environment. I AM getting the hang of it. I continue to be extremely impressed by the team I am surrounded by. Obviously I still have much to learn, but it feels like this job will be an excellent match.

I'm going to eat my tamales and be grateful.

Learning Curve

No, I did not fall of the face of the earth. I've been completely immersed in getting acquainted with my new job.

I started a new position on Oct 24. It's in a completely different field than I have worked in previously and there is MUCH to learn.

I am the Director of a program that interfaces with a lot of high profile medical people. So I am surrounded by very bright, very capable individuals who expect me to LEAD in some substantial ways. In time I think it will be an excellent match. For right now, however, I'm dancing as fast as I can just to figure out what all the alphabet soup acronyms mean. Then of course there are the inevitable policies and procedures of my particular agency, not to mention the practical things like learning how to use the new high tech phone system and how to load and adjust the fancy shmancy copy machine. Having EVERYTHING be new and unfamiliar requires my brain to be on overdrive every minute of the day to figure out my next move, so by the time I get home I am exhausted.

Most of it is going well. However, there is just so much I don't know that at times it can be a bit overwhelming. On the second day I got completely lost in the building I now work in, leading to some snickers when the person waiting for me in a certain conference room could hear me wandering from corridor to corridor unable to locate the place where I was supposed to be. Yeah, I'm definitely the new kid on the block with a bit of a deer in the headlights look about me.

I am quite jazzed about this new opportunity. For TODAY, however, I'm scrambling just to figure out what I am supposed to be doing. I'm one of those folks who REALLY likes mastery. Nothing is more reinforcing to me that feeling confident and knowing I am good at what I do. Right now I'm getting calls and emails from folks across the country asking me about this program or that project and all I can say is "I'll check on that and get back with you" because I haven't got a clue.

Although it's awkward and uncomfortable at the moment, I'm learning a ton of stuff every single day. I like that.

So I'm trying really hard to be patient with myself. By this time next year I should have a whole network of people I know well who I have not even met yet. I will be able to explain the difference between a CAH, a RHC and a FQHC with the best of them. I honestly believe that through my efforts I will be able to contribute to the face of healthcare in Idaho in some positive ways. For TODAY however, I'm just taking a deep breath and remembering the words of the little engine that could...

"I think I can, I think I can, I think I can..."

The rest will come, in time.

SPLAT!

Oh the joy of celebrating life with pie(s) in the face. In this case, there were two: one was chocolate, the other banana cream.

These were home-made, and from what little actually made it into my mouth, absolutely delicious.

As some of my long time friends know, for many years I carried out the tradition of getting a pie in the face each year on my birthday. I THOUGHT I was all done with this silly bit of nonsense once I turned 50. Last week I celebrated my 54th birthday, so it has been a while since the last time I did this. However, this was my BEST birthday in many years. Between landing my new job and making some excellent connections with people I care about, it just felt like everything in my life is swimming with blessings right now. I was so grateful and giddy with how things unfolded, what can I say...it just made me want to do another pie. Only this time I did it with a twist.

Last week we had mid-term exams in my Introductory Sociology class. I told my students that anyone who earned a perfect score on the test would get to hit me in the face with a pie. How's that for incentive for students to study?? There were two students who made it, so they each got their own pie. At the end of class tonight the whole group went with me outside to the college lawn and there we did the official SPLAT. It was great. Sticky, for sure, but great.

Life is sweet - and if you don't believe me - honestly, there's nothing to kick start your sense of humor like a nice gooey pie in the face.

Stronger at the Broken Places

I originally wrote this post back in 2007 over on my other blog, Life By Design. I'm repeating it here now for the benefit of a particular friend who is going through a hard time.

I once had a wise teacher who told me about making balsa wood airplanes as a child.

While flying them out in a field on a windy day, one of his favorite planes crashed and broke. He was sad to see the crumpled, shattered body lying in a heap. It appeared to be utterly ruined.

However, after the initial disappointment, he picked up the pieces and carefully, painstakingly, glued them back together. Then he left it for a while to sit and dry. Finally, when he was confident it was ready, he took it back out to fly again.

Amazingly, that repaired plane became one of his best flyers. Although scarred and perhaps less beautiful that the unbroken planes, that one was so sturdy that even when it took an occasional tumble, it didn't break again. It had become stronger at the broken places because of the glue.

Our lives are often like that. We have heartaches and disappointments. We have circumstances that make us feel as if we have crashed into the ground. But if we can pick ourselves up and glue those crumpled pieces of our heart back together, we too can become stronger at the broken places, with new found resilience to face the storms the world may bring.

During a particularly difficult time in my life, I received the card you see pictured here. As it says: "Sometimes when you least expect it, life gives you a big ol' sock in the nose." Then, on the inside it reads:"Not to worry. With time the pain will pass, and from it you will have gained experience, which gives you information, which gives you objectivity,which gives you wisdom, which gives you truth, which gives you freedom from having to get a sock in the nose again." Every now and then, when I am facing struggles in navigating the current of my world, it helps to pull out the card and to remember the story of that broken airplane.

Happy Happy Birthday to ME!

I just had the BEST BIRTHDAY I've had in years. From start to finish it was just an amazing day.

1. I got the job that I had been hoping for. More money than I had expected AND the possibility of tuition reimbursement for a grad program I've been looking at. YIPPEE!

2. I had some amazing connections with family and friends.

I went out to dinner at a la-dee-dah fancy restaurant with my husband, my brother and my sister-in-law. (Although I've been told they have the best steaks in town not one of us ordered a steak. But the duck, the halibut and Ahi Tuna were stunning!)

I also had some great phone calls/emails/cards that brightened my day. In particular I had a great talk with my cousin in Renton, WA and my brilliant-and-delightfully-kooky inventor kid brother in California.

3. I was still on a spiritual high from the recent worldwide conference of my church.

Put that all together and life is just bowling me over with blessing right now.

There is a small town in Gooding County called Bliss, Idaho. But I'd say I've found my bliss right where I am.

October Yard Photos

One of the things I love best about my yard in the fall is the grapes that grow all over the back porch. They are very yummy and they smell absolutely divine.

Although our veggie garden is still going strong, most of the flowers in the front yard (except for our faithful roses) have slowed down or stopped.


There are a few exceptions: Aster, Dahlias, & Marigolds are still looking nice.

In the back yard I've got mostly yellows now, with Fireworks goldenrod, sneezeweed (Helenium autumnale)and ligularia blooming:

I've got a couple spots that are still showing other colors (last remaining pinks of my hollyhock, some purple butterfly bush and phlox) Soon though I'll begin to get the deep reds from my burning bush, Virginia creeper and the Japanese maple tree.

I definitely want to plant a few new things next year that will give me more variety this time of year. Perhaps I'll put in some mums? But for now, it's all I can do to keep up with squash, tomatoes and cucumbers that are still producing with profusion.

I've heard it's supposed to turn off cold by the end of next week... before you know it will get a freeze and then it will be time to put the garden to bed. I'm ready.

How Much is Enough?

Once again I am waiting on pins and needles to see if I get picked for a job I have applied for. My interview went very well and I've heard back from three of my references that they have been called, so I know I am in the "finalist" stage, but the deal is not set yet.

I REALLY want this job for a number of reason. I think it would be a good match for my current skill sets, but would also give me room to grow both personally and professionally. Also, while my current position has been great on a lot of levels, the grant funding is ticking away with a definite end point. I am like yogurt with an expiration date. That job will definitely evaporate in the spring. So sometime between now and then it is critical that I find a new position.

The last time I was unemployed I had my husband's salary and benefits to fall back on. Now that he is retired, that is no longer the case. So the fact that I've got a firm lead sooner rather than later is a very good thing.

There's just one bit of a wrinkle in the soup. The job I'm up for is only funded for 20 hrs per week. That means I will take a BIG hit financially to jump ship at this point. It does have full benefits, a true rarity for a part time job. Also it IS very much a professional leadership position with a high level of responsibility. It's simply part of a contract with a skinny budget, so a half time director is all they can afford.

I do not know yet how much the salary will be, but I suspect it may be less than half of what I am currently earning. Add that to the fact that my present position pays substantially less than the last two jobs I had prior to this and clearly it translates to me moving in the wrong direction in terms of income. But I know I am not alone in that. Welcome to the Great Recession where pay cuts and underemployment are rampant all across the land.

Still, other than the money, in ever other respect this job sounds like something I could really sink my teeth into. It is for a non-profit that has an excellent reputation. They've recently won a national awards for flexibility in the workplace. People I've talked to about the place say it is a phenomenal outfit to work for. I had previously met the exec director who I would report to and I believe he would be a great boss. Most of all, this feels like a job where I could make a positive difference, and that is something that really matters to me.

So I've been giving a lot of thought to what my line in the sand is in terms of dollars. How much do I have to earn in order to take this job IF it is offered?

We live in a country that assigns merit and worth to people based on titles and dollars and how many shiny things we own. I am quite capable of seeing the silliness in that sort of thinking. I absolutely recognize that there are far more important quality of life aspects to a job than how big the paycheck is or whether I get a nice office. Still, I do have certain household expenses which must be covered. It really wouldn't matter how much I liked my job if I had to worry all the time about not being able to pay my bills. So, I'm going over the family budget and trying to determine, at what point do the scales tip between taking a job I think I could love which pays poorly vs. keeping a better paying job that I know is time limited while I look for something else?

As I look at the job market in town for what other sorts of things I might be able to pursue if I let this one pass by me, I'm being careful not to let myself get all tangled up in the bird-in-the-hand vs. bird-in-the-bush delusions. (Since right now I'm comparing the bird NOT in my hand to a bush I've yet to identify, it's even more complicated.) I'm not the least bit afraid of working hard. I just want to work in a place that has a culture of professionalism where people have integrity and treat each other like grown ups. Is that so much to ask?

It will be interesting to see how this whole job thing plays out... hopefully I will hear relatively soon. This limbo land of not knowing is wearing kinda thin.

Seasons...

The calendar tells me it is now Autumn. You couldn't prove it by what I've seen. Sure, the days are getting noticeably shorter. But it has still been in the 80's and 90's during the day and my cucumber and squash plants in my garden are showing absolutely no sign of slowing down.

Changings in season can sort of creep up on you like that. There I was, going full tilt boogie in my summer and all of a sudden (or so it seemed) there it was fall.

But if I had really been paying attention I would have noticed some subtle things...

Like how the nights really have been getting cooler
or how that one tree on my nightly walk with the dog is actually starting to drop some leaves.

We still have a ways to go before it will FEEL like autumn. But pumpkins are fat in the field and apples are getting ripe.

In a way I'm sad to say goodbye to summer. I have had the absolute best summer of my entire life this year. For a lot of reasons, I have savored this past season. I've taken some great trips, made some new friends, and very gladly given up my status as "new kid" in Boise. Now that I've lived here a full year, I'm finding my niche and feeling more and more like this is HOME. I belong.

But that's no reason to grieve the passing of summer. If I really do believe this was my best summer, why can't I follow it up with my best ever fall? I love autumn. I'm hoping to get to do some trips to where I'll get the full spectrum of colors and maybe - just MAYBE I'll be making some changes in the near future that will give me more freedom in that regard.

So goodbye summer. Thank you for some fabulous memories.
Hello autumn. Let's dance.

What a Pain in the Neck!

One of the reasons I've been writing less these days is that school has started, so much of my computer time is spent writing class lectures or grading student papers.

The other issue has been some struggles I've been having with my neck and back. That image you see with this is not just some random picture off the internet. It's my actual X-ray.

I've been to three chiropractors, a physical therapist and an acupuncture doctor. I'm still having a fair amount of pain. Apparently I have a bit of arthritis in my neck. Beyond that I have too many years of bad posture and mega hours sitting in front of my computer working against me. Put that all together and I've got one big pain in the neck (and back). Sigh.

So I've adjusted my work stations at both my home office and at my full time job...raised the monitors to my computers several inches higher and changed the way I will sit. I'm doing some specific exercises that help increase my flexibility and strengthen my back muscles. Also I'm trying diligently to get more regular sleep.

Hopefully in the coming weeks I will be able to get a handle on the problem. But even though I do expect to see improvement, the reality is that as I age I can probably expect more aches and pains. How I choose to cope with that will be up to me.

I'm trying to be mindful about focusing more on what's RIGHT than what's uncomfortable. I truly do have a whole lot of blessing going on all around me. Still, it's just hard to be positive when you are hurting.

This is definitely giving me more compassion for those who must deal with ongoing chronic pain and/or disability. I think of my sweet husband's grandmother whose whole adult life was spent twisted and crippled with agonizing rheumatoid arthritis. All the family who knew her say she was never one to complain. Her children sometimes heard her crying in her bedroom when she was really suffering. But she never got cranky with them, no matter how badly she felt.

I want to always remember her example. I may not feel great in body right now. But I can choose to focus on all that gives me joy instead of on what hurts.

Let the Whining Begin....

We've only been back to school for TWO WEEKS and I've already received my first whiny email from a student saying my class is too hard. I am not sympathetic.

I work hard to make sure my class is very engaging and that I continually tie it to real word examples to show its relevance. But I make no excuses, it IS hard. When my husband looks over the syllabus he smiles and say, "Babe, I love you but I'd drop your class."

So should about a third of those who sign up. Term after term students fail my classes NOT because they don't comprehend or can't do the work. They simply take on more than they can realistically accomplish (full time work, family responsibilities and full load of classes with no established study skills) and then blame me when I will not adjust deadlines when they find they have to work extra hours right before a major assignment is due.

I'm very clear in the beginning what my class involves and give them a detailed schedule of what is due when. I also make a big point of letting them know that anything turned in late will count half off and they only have a 4 day window for that beyond which I will not accept it at all. Do they not believe me?

I fully expect students to be feeling overwhelmed by week 7, but I've got 12 students out of 31 who are already falling behind in week 3. In talking to other faculty on campus, many of them are experiencing the same thing. A large proportion of our students sign up who just never follow through with the work. I find that a very troubling trend.

In an article on student entitlement Maryellen Weimer, PhD defines the issue as "a self-centered disposition characterized by a general disregard for traditional faculty relationship boundaries and authority” (p. 198), or it can be described more functionally: “a sense that they [students] deserve what they want because they want it and want it now.” (p. 197) "

Sadly I see increasing amounts of this, not just in my classrooms, but in society in general.

So many are concerned with their RIGHTS and what is owed to them without giving the same attention to their responsibilities. I see this as a dangerous trend that is gutting the vitality of our nation. There are so many examples....

For now I just take a deep breath and recommit to how I will communicate with my students. I will be firm but fair. I will be respectful of them and as supportive as possible. I'll work hard to keep my courses interesting and show how they are relevant to real live. But I will not budge when it comes to deadlines and rigor. Too many classes are watered down - especially when finances force schools to keep increasing class sizes. I well understand why many faculty cut back on writing assignments because they simply don't have the time or energy to grade all the work.
I'm not there yet. I'm keeping my bar high. It's exhausting at times. But I teach because it means something to me. I'll sleep when I'm dead.

The class is a pretty even split between males and females, young students just out of high school and older folks coming back after having lived some life.

Me thinks this is going to be a LOOOOONG semester. Oy veh.

Franken-butt Anniversary

One year ago today my beloved went under the knife to have hip replacement surgery. The months leading up to and immediately following the operation were a struggle. My strong, capable husband endured tremendous pain for months and became in most respects an invalid. When our granddaughters came to visit last August they pushed him around in a wheel chair every where we went.

Gratefully, he has had a full recovery and is now able to do very nearly everything he ever could. He has one dilly of a scar on his butt (which I do have photos of but will NOT be posting) and at times still gets a little pain.

But considering the extent of the surgery, we are both pretty amazed at how well he has bounced back. The human body's abilty to heal from all sorts of mishap and trauma is nothing short of amazing.

As we think about where we were and what we were doing one year ago today we both recognize we have very much to be grateful for.

Hopefully we'll have another 10-20 years of active, productive life before we have to worry about "invalid" status again. Or not. What I do know after than dress rehearsal into the world of pain and limitation is that every healthy day we get is a precious gift to be savored and appreciated.

Understanding Society

As I have been researching various topics for the Intro Sociology course I teach at CWI I came across an intriguing collection of resources at the website Understanding Society by Daniel Little at University of Michigan. This is a very robust website with all sorts of tools (blogs, podcasts, YouTube interviews, Twitter feeds, etc)for examining society and how social scientists approach their world.

After spending more time than I care to admit noodling around on the various pages I was reminded all over again what drew me to the science of sociology in the first place. I am utterly fascinated by examining the twin forces of society: what creates stability and what creates social change.

As I went through my first day of classes on Monday I found myself flowing in the zone of guiding intro students to the idea that SOCIAL FORCES have more to do with the choices we make than individual preference. That of course does not mean we are robots being manipulated by our society. Yet the whole idea that individuals are not uniquely in charge of their own destiny is sometime quite difficult for American students to fathom. I love the challenge of helping them both comprehend and confront that.

It does no good to be overwhelmed or angry at the idea that social institutions and the power elite with their own agendas are limiting my options. Instead, I encourage students to PUSH those limits, which can only be done by first understanding them.

I'm excited for the new semester. The first four weeks are generally euphoric for me as I begin each term full of hope and excitement. Of course, by week 7 I will be overwhelmed with grading and discouraged by lackluster students who don't even bother to show up regularly. Still, every term I find my core group of people who get excited about what they are learning. We enter that magical, sacred dance of teaching and learning, where we take turns showing each other new ideas, different perspectives and ways of defining our world - savoring the process of making meaning and finding new knowledge. Honestly, this is what I was born to do, and it is such an absolute privilege I am still astonished there are schools that actually pay me to "perform" tasks that are so hardwired to my DNA that it's like telling a fish to swim.

I've taught adjunct courses in Michigan, Washington, Oregon and now Idaho. I love this more than anything else I've ever done. Would I do it full time if I had the chance? Absolutely - even though the very idea of that gives me some trepidation.

Would doing it day in and day out with a 5 or 6 course load burn me out on the one thing that absolutely fuels my passion? I don't have the answer to that. But since right now it's not an option, I don't have to worry about that. For now I will continue to teach in tandem with my full time job, putting my heart and soul into my classes. Down the road, if a full time position ever does open, that is a risk I would most definitely take.

Do you love your work??

In cleaning out my office recently I found some notes on a conference I attended about work satisfaction and burn-out.

In those notes were a list of factors which are markers of level of employee engagement. How many of the following can you say are true?

1. I know what is expected of me at work.

2. I have the materials and equipment I need to do my job right.

3. I have the opportunity to do my best and focus on my strengths every day at my job.

4. In the past 7 days I have received recognition.

5. My supervisor or someone at work cares about me as a person.

6. There is someone at my work that encourages my development.

7. At work my opinions and ideas seem to count.

8. Mission or purpose of my company makes me feel like my job is important.

9. My fellow employees are committed to quality work.

10. I have a good friend at work.

11. In the last six months someone has talked to me about my progress.

12. In the last year at work I have had an opportunity to grow and learn.

I can currently claim 4 out of the 12.

There is one of them that I'm not so sure I agree with. As I have gotten older I have shifted in my expectations about friendships at work. In the past I have developed very close friendships with my peers at work. Some of the dearest friends of my 20's and 30's were people that I worked with. Now, however, I am not close to anyone at my job. Part of the reason is I don't really have peers at my current position. There is no one else working at my same level on the same project. But another reason is that I've become more compartmentalized. I have friendships in my real life outside of work. I also have good relationships with my colleagues, but it's not personal. I don't tell them much about me.

I genuinely like my current job and believe I'm quite good at it. However, I also know that I'm like yogurt with an expiration date. When the grant runs out, my job will be over and I will then go do something else. That may be part of the reason I have not allowed myself to get too attached here.

Yet I think it's more than just that. I think my beliefs and expectations about work have substantially shifted over the years. I am glad I've had this job and in most ways believe it to be a good match for me. But it's my JOB, not my identity. It provides a way to pay for the rest of my life. I hope I make some bit of positive difference through what I do. In the end though, I won't miss it all that much when I move on to something else.

How do you feel about your job? If you could do something else, what would it be?

Daddy or the Daughter? Reading the Burkes back to back

For several years now I have been an avid reader and audio book listener of the works of James Lee Burke. The man's word pictures steal away my breath. His complex, very human characters always intrigue me. The man simply writes some of the most STUNNING sentences I've ever encountered after over 40 years of reading hundreds and hundreds of books.

Then recently I got my first taste of his daughter Alafair's work. While both write murder mysteries they are completely different in style. I must say I got far more caught up in the suspense of Alafair's writing. But after finishing her book 212 I returned to one of JLB's earlier works,Sunset Limited. It did not have me on the edge of my seat waiting to learn what was going to happen next the way Alafair's book did. Instead it had me absolutely mesmerized with what was happening NOW due to the amazing language.

I think I like her plots better. I definitely like his sentences better.

Setting is another big difference between the two. Alafair's series takes place in New York City. Dave Robicheaux is a Cajun cop in New Iberia, Louisiana.

I love the sense of place in those bayou books.

Granted, the elder Burke has written other books in other settings, but the ones that completely capture my heart are the misadventures of Nam vet and drunk-in-recovery Robicheaux and his hilarious sidekick in the pork pie hat, Clete Pursel. I've read so many of these I feel like these two guys are old friends.

I'm sure I will read more of Alafair's work. I very much enjoyed 212 (both the area code for NYC and the building number for the murder that occurs in the opening scene of the novel). But when it gets right down to it, my all time favorite writer is still the grand master, James Lee Burke. The voice he brings to his novels is so rich and complex, filled with undercurrents of visceral themes and failed humanity.

Alafair's writing is taunt, driven, full of surprises.

Comparing the two is like asking me if I like chocolate or peanuts better. They are entirely different. But the combination of reading them both back to back is absolutely delicious. Pass the Reeses peanut butter cups please, and hand me another novel.

BODIES EXHIBIT

On our recent get away weekend we had an opportunity to see the Bodies Exhibit in Idaho Falls. For those who may not be familiar with it, it is an educational exhibit of actual human bodies and body parts that have been preserved in some very ingenious ways. One cadaver was sliced into sections about two inches thick from head to toe and then had each slice encased in plastic. They are arranged on a table with a couple inches between each slice so you can look very closely and every single segment of the body.

I especially liked the room that focused on the circulatory system. A special kind of plastic polymer was injected into the veins of a cadaver until every blood vessel from major veins and arteries all the way to the tiniest of capillaries was filled with the stuff. It hardens there and then a special chemical wash is used to eat away everything EXCEPT the polymer. So what you have left is a standing form of a human body that is ONLY the blood vessels. Completely fascinating.

I looked at kidneys and livers and lungs and hearts and brains.

I looked at skeletons, at intestines, at whole bodies standing erect (but cut cleanly in half vertically so you could see how certain inner parts fit.

I looked at human embryos in vials with each display one week older so you could get a glimpse of how the fetus develops.

These were not pictures or models or representations. These were actual human bodies that had been preserved in such a way that you could see how the various systems fit together, what each organ looked like, how big it was, where it was, and in a few cases (like the lungs) what they looked like when healthy and what they looked like when diseased. (I haven't smoked in 30 years, but if I did I would DEFINITELY be quitting after seeing THAT particular part of the display.)

When I first heard about this show many years ago in a conversation at my oldest brother's wedding reception I initially recoiled. I thought it was a ghoulish idea to even consider creating such a spectacle and I thought it was pretty twisted that people would pay money to go look at this stuff.

But since that time I have talked to several folks who had seen the show when it came to various parts of the country - Phoenix, Seattle, LA. EVERY single person I knew who had actually seen it raved about the experience and said it simply was something that should not be missed.

So I reconsidered my views. Then when I learned that the show was in Idaho Falls and we were going to be driving right past there on our way to the Bluegrass Festival in Alta, Wyoming, I decided it was worth a side trip.

I'm really glad we went.

I do understand why some people say "Ewww! Gross" and others genuinely find it to be depraved rather than a worthwhile educational presentation. But I've got to say, it gave me a renewed respect for this amazing machine that is the human body and perhaps even a bit more commitment to taking better care of my own.

So now I'm thinking about other things I might initially find repulsive or disgusting, scary or boring, or simply not worth my time and wondering if I might want to re-examine my pre-judgements. There are SOME things I really do not need to see to know I do not want those images in my brain. But I'm learning that there are time when it really does make sense to reconsider my point of view.

Interesting Faces

I wish I'd had the nerve to take more face picture at the music festival in Alta, Wyoming I just attended. We had a fabulous time there and will long remember it.
I suppose it is the sociologist in me, but I enjoyed people watching as much a I did listening to the music.

The crowd was an eclectic group of all ages from the very old to the very young.

I got a kick out of the young man who had been to the face painting tent.

and this little girl who was grooving to the tunes with her family

Out of the several bands we heard the only one I was familiar with was Tim O'Brien:

I particularly like Joy Kills Sorrow and Donna the Buffalo.

It's late now and I'm tired, so uploading more photos from the concert will have to wait for another day. However, it will be the pictures that I DIDN'T take that I will remember most of all....the amazing sunset, and many of the interesting faces that I saw in the crowd.

LILIES

Some random shots of lilies from my garden...