My dear pal Pat B. and I have been e-mailing each other about what we would each put on our "bucket list", things we want to do before we kick the bucket (in response to her going to see the new movie Bucket List with Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman)
We've both made lists with two categories - the realistic thing we think we really can accomplish and then a dream wish list if money were no object.
Here are my lists.
What I plan to really do before I die:
1) Learn to Juggle
2) Eat pancakes with real maple syrup in New England in the fall
3) Hit Kelly Sedinger in the face with a pie (and of course be pied in return!)
4) Visit every State in the USA (right now I'm missing Alabama, Arkansas, Kansas and most of New England) I sort of like the idea of sending myself a post card from the state capital of every state so that would mean revisiting the ones I have been to.
5) Get all the way through the book "Jesus the Christ" by Talmage. I've started it several times. It's a hard read for me.
6) Be 100% debt free and have enough income/assetts for a simple life.
7) Consistently read my scriptures every single day for a year. (trying again on this one...so far so good, but I have a long history of being hit and miss on this.)
Now, if money were no object ...
Take all my kids & grand kids on a Disney Cruise
Travel to EVERY LDS Temple (once upon a time this WAS a serious goal of mine but that was before Gordon went on overdrive.)
Spend a year of service in a less developed country
And then of course there is the list of things I think would be great but so far do not have the level of commitment it takes to move them from pipe dream to reality...
These are all things I have either attempted or seriously considered in the past and either failed at miserably or just fizzled out on by lack of sustained effort. This is my list of shame of things I have let myself down on....maybe some day I can overcome them, or at least some of them. These are all things I would really like but have no confidence I'll ever do...
1. Learn to sew with confidence and skill (I have a decent sewing machine which I have not used in 10 yrs)
2. Write a book (sounds great, but I'm not sure I have anything to say that justifies the attempt)
3. Learn to speak/read/write fluent Spanish (hey, I was able to get us on a local bus and navigate around Playa del Carmen, I know how to cuss, count and ask where the bathroom is...but fluent is a whole other matter.)
4. Learn to play the piano and/or hand drum (I keep wishing I was musical. I am so not. I have yet to develop the necessary patience and willingness to tolerate my own mediocrity long enough to build even marginal skill.)
5. Learn to scuba dive so I can share my beloved's passion. (I tried lessons twice. I panicked both times. NOT for me.)
6. Become a smooth ballroom dancer. (I still count when I fox trot and I stink at waltz. The lessons were a fun weekly date night, but I just never really got the hang of it. Maybe if he would let me lead??)
Goals/dreams/wishes are all interesting things...
There are the things I don't really want, but think I SHOULD want.
There are the things I do want but believe I should not.
Mix those in with the things I truly do want...but am too weak or lazy to accomplish, or the things I keep striving for year after year, even when all evidence says I should just give up and accept they will never turn out as I hoped...
All that craving and climbing and trying...how much do I want to be about that and how much do I want to be about simply accepting what IS??
Depends on the day. Sometimes I think being driven and goal oriented is a positive thing. Other times I have my doubts.
I guess if I had to pick just ONE thing...it would be to be able to have peace & acceptance of myself and patience with others. It would be that state of being I call serenity ...the courage to change the things I can change, the serenity to accept the things I cannot and the wisdom to know the difference.