Wednesday, January 23, 2008

How Much is Enough??

I have a phone interview set for Friday morning at 8:30 AM for a job in Kalamazoo, Michigan that I really, REALLY want to get. I had applied for four different positions, and this one would be my first pick of the four. I have now made the first cut into the pool to be phone interviewed. Time will tell if I'm the right fit for what they want and if they can offer what I need to justify a cross country move.

One of my concerns is that because the job would be working for a non-profit agency, the likelihood of it paying what I make now is extremely low. So I have to make up my mind, how much would I really need to accept a position there if I felt right about all the other factors?

I recently taught a workshop on Career Development here at the college where I currently work full time. One of the topics I covered was compensation packages and how a person determines what they really need or expect in a given job. One of the statements I made in that workshop was: "If it was only about the money we would all deal drugs." There are many ways we are rewarded by our work that have nothing to do with money. I understand that. Still - is it realistic to take a job that would pay $10K less? Particularly in light of the fact that moving would most likely be the trigger for my beloved's retirement, putting me in the hot seat of being primary wage earner for our family, I do need to pay careful attention to that.

So today my heart is dancing between hope and fear.

One of my fears is that I will not get the job. But I may be even more afraid that they WILL offer me the job, but make a salary offer so low that it is not feasible. Or even worse, they could offer an amount that I would be willing to accept but my husband would not be willing to sacrifice his job for. It seems we have different levels of what we think we need to be ok. So who decides what we ultimately do? What does that mean for the one who may not agree? YIKES. That's a kettle of fish I'm not eager to open up.

I'm trying to have faith that it will work out however it is meant to. But I'm not sure I even know what that means. I'm not sure there IS a "meant to happen" scenario here. I can continue to grow and learn and develop as a person no matter where I live. I can make contributions to people around me no matter what sort of work I do. Clearly, I have my preferences. But it will happen however it plays out. I can influence the circumstances, but not control them. Really swallowing that certainty down solid is both liberating and makes me a little queasy.

But this morning I got a phone call from my son who lives near Grand Rapids. Seems my 13 yr old grand daughter just won the spelling championship for her whole school. Next she goes on to regionals. Last year she took second in State spelling bee. This may be her year to win the prize. It would mean the world if I could be in the audience cheering her on. I have lots of reasons for wanting very much to relocate back to Michigan. I'll curse the humidity and hate the mosquitoes. I'll miss mountains and at times long for dear friends left behind. But their are eight precious grand kids growing up there without me. I'm tired of being the lady who sends cool care packages and comes to visit one week each year. I want to be allowed to fully participate in their lives. How can you put a price tag on that?

So cross your fingers and say a prayer for me on Friday morning.

It just may be time for Belladonna Piranha to reinvent herself all over again.


Jen said...

I think that knowing how much is enough...possessions, money, love, life, one of the key questions of life and why we are here.

Good luck on the interview!

Mimi said...


Mimi said...

Oh, and congratulations to your granddaughter! What an accomplishment.

papa herman said...

Congrats to your Granddaughter!!!!

Have you ever seen the documentary 'Spellbound' about a group of kids going to the Natl Spelling Bee? It is one of my favorite movies.

Lei said...

Wow, best of luck to you! I'll be thinking of you in the morn...:)

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