Defining Identity

I LOVE the quotes I pick up over on the No Contact Politics site. The latest one says:
"We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be." --Kurt Vonnegut, from Mother Night.

I've long been intrigued by the whole issue of identity and what constitutes who we REALLY are, as opposed to the social masks that we wear.

I am not my body. If I were to lose an arm or an eye, a breast, my teeth or my hair, I would still be me. (albeit a different sort of me, a different expression and experience of me - But I WOULD still be ME, wouldn't I??)

I am not my thoughts, my emotions or my opinions. Those provide the context for my daily walk- giving me the weather and climate of how I sense my life - but they are the outer trappings, not my core me. All of those can and do change on a regular basis. Yet I am still me.

I am not my behavior. What I DO is generally a reflection of my desires, my values, my thoughts, my needs and my cultural training. But it is not my identity.

So what is "personality", and is that the same as identity? I can willfully, deliberately change my thoughts, or my behavior. Can I choose or shape my personality or am I stuck with making do with whatever cards I get dealt?

I've heard much talk of the "spirit" or "core essense" of a person. How can I find it /feel it/ nourish it/ reveal it? How do I learn to recognize the constant being behind all the many ways I relate to the world rather than defining myself by my work, my relationships, my many social roles...or by the moods that are transitory images of smoke and mirrors playing out at any given time?