Sunday, April 18, 2010

Saying goodbye is hard to do

I am absolutely thrilled that I am about to embark on a whole new adventure. I am so ready for this impending move to Idaho. I honestly couldn't be more pleased.

That being said, I'm still struggling with the bittersweet nature of saying goodbye to people and places I care about here.

Yesterday I spent some time at Pioneer Park in Walla Walla, enjoying the majestic trees and the aviary there one last time. I went by St. Siloun church to bid farewell to the bells with many fond memories of friends I have of that congregation. I spent some time hiking up the creek at Harris Park. Then today I went to church at Pendleton 1st Ward one last time.

I could not help but weep at the sight of some of the dear friends I have there. I will miss them tremendously.

I know this move is right for me and I am confident things are moving forward exactly as they are supposed to. But the flip side of that old saying about how every time a door closes a window opens is that as this new window is opening in my life I must accept the closing of a door.

Life is a series of letting go.
Having moved about 28 times in my lifetime I've said more than my share of goodbyes over the years. Somehow, this does not get any easier with practice.

I would have made a lousy nomadic Bedouin.

My hope is that once I get to Spudland I can burrow in deep, like a tick on a dog's back - hold on tight and not let go. My soul is ever so weary of being in transit. I want a place to put down deep roots and call HOME.

But I'm kidding myself if I think anything will ever really be permanent.
We're all strangers traveling through this life. By definition mortality is a temporary sojourn.... so long as I live I suspect I'll always feel a little bit disconnected and homesick. No matter how much I appreciate each stop along the way and no matter how much I come to love the people I meet everywhere I land I've come to accept that at some point there is an inevitable letting go. I know that is as it should be. Still, today it makes me sad.

1 comment:

Michelle said...

I love Idaho. Idaho is my home and yet I yearn for adventure. Such is life. We always want what we can't have.

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