More is not always better

Its that time again...time to be thinking about our garden and planning out what we will grow this year.

Last year we totally overdid it with squash plants. We put in 4 each of zucchini squash, yellow summer squash, spaghetti squash, and butternut squash. They took over. We had more squash than we knew what to do with. We gave away boxes and barrels of the darn things, frozen them and ate them and STILL have a big box of them sitting in the basement.

We had WAY too much squash.



This year I'm trying to plan things a bit better. There will only be TWO plants each of zucchini and yellow squash (OK, maybe three) and none of the others. This year I'll be branching out to include new things I've never grown before: okra, cabbage, and broccoli along with the usual standbys of tomatoes, cucumbers and peppers. I also hope to grow a few melons.

But the sad truth is, I'm a fair weather gardener. I LOVE getting my hands in the dirt in early spring. I enjoy the smell of the fresh tilled earth. I get great joy from sorting out all my little seed packets and dreaming of my future harvest bounty.

When those first plantings start to pop up out of the ground in hopeful new baby plants it makes me want to do a happy dance.


However, I know me. I'm not likely to be willing to drag hoses to water in the summer heat and come July I could care less about weeding or being vigilant about potential bugs.

So I'm lucky my husband is creative and willing to put the time in to set up a fairly low maintenance garden spot for me each year. I'll have an automatic watering system set on a timer. My plants will be nestled safely in the protection of landscape fabric that will keep out most of the weeds. As for bugs? So far I've just been plain lucky. I have not sprayed or done any other kind of intervention. Last year's garden grew like gang busters with narry a beetle or slug.

I'm hoping we'll have the same good fortune this year. I really REALLY don't want to put poison on my garden. But I'm not so committed to organic principles that I'm likely to tolerate insects eating up my plants.

We will have four 50 ft rows this year, expanding from the three we did last summer. Also I will be repeating my hanging tomatoes. There's just nothing like fresh produce straight from the garden. Beyond that, I really enjoy the sense of accomplishment I get from watching things grow, even if we do take more than a few shortcuts. However there will DEFINITELY be less squash. When it comes to my garden I'm trying to really embrace the phrase that says "less is more."

BOOK REVIEW - Cleansing of America

I am one of those people who will cover my eyes during the scary parts of a movie. I eschew situations that fill me with a sense of creepiness or dread. I have a few friends who are willing to pay big bucks for experiences deliberately calculated to scare the snot out of them. (think bungee jumping and other high adrenaline adventures.) Not me. No high flying zip line trips through jungles or forests. No precarious climbs up the side of rock faces. I like to keep my feet firmly upon Terra firma with a solid surety that I am absolutely safe.

So imagine my discomfort as I read through the pages of a book all about the prophecies of the last days on this earth that details with laser sharp precision the sort of travails that will be known immediately prior to the second coming of Jesus Christ. Piece by piece this book gave evidence of how much death, destruction and trauma is going to happen, hitting the righteous and wicked alike. Holy tomatoes, it was not an easy read.

However, as I thought about what I would say in a review of the book “Cleaning of America” the word that kept coming to me over and over as I reflected on what my take away was from this book was COMFORT. Odd, huh?

Here’s the thing…while Dr. W. Cleon Skousen pulls absolutely no punches in detailing what will occur in the last days in sometimes dreadful clarity, he also gave very clear council about how to prepare for and thrive during those turbulent times.

I don’t know about you, but when I read the book of Revelations I get confused more than intimidated. All that figurative language just sort of rattles around in my brain. I've also read various works by different people from different faiths explaining their take on "Prophecies of the Last Days". Most of it leaves me feeling confused as much as spooked. What I liked best about the book Cleansing of America is that even though it deals with some very big and complex topics, the language is absolutely approachable and easy to understand.

Hey, I'm no literary lightweight and having been blessed with a graduate education I have a better than average vocabulary. Nevertheless, when I read things by authors like James Talmage or other heavy hitters of revered gospel works I often come away frustrated more than uplifted because I have to spend so much time looking up words in a dictionary that I lose track of what it is they are trying to say. In sharp contrast, this book is something I could stick with all the way through because it made sense to me. It is FAR from fluff reading. There is real meat here and holds some big ideas that left me pondering for a long, long time. Still, it is presented in a manner that most any reasonbly literate adult could understand, and that appealed to me. (Even the parts that made me want to pull the covers over my eyes.)

While it is not at all light reading, Skousen takes you step by step through things prophets have taught about the last days and then lays out specific real world examples that illustrate how those very things are coming to pass. He ties together a myriad of teachings in a way that makes his message abundantly clear. The opening sections really are pretty scary. But if you stick with it he also lays out how we as a people can hold firm to what we know to be true to get through those hard times to take part in the miracles and blessings that will also be a part of the last days.

The main points I gleaned from this book are these: We are in the winding down times of the great plan of salvation. There is a reason for many of the events that are unfolding in the world now. In the days to come there will be even more precarious and turbulent events. Without question, there will be a great deal of suffering for the righteous and wicked alike. But as we hold fast to the teachings of Jesus Christ and put our full trust in Him, we do NOT need to be afraid. Even when we have to endure tremendous adversity, we will be comforted and blessed. That does not mean we will be rescued from all the bad stuff. Even many of the elect will fall vicitim to what's coming. Let's face it, we ALL will die sooner or later. Some of those deaths will be those of good, righteous people who fall prey to the violence and volatility of both natural and man made catastrophes we know will come.

Still, what this book reminded me in very powerful ways is that how we choose to live during what may be the darkest and most difficult days of human history really does matter. We don't have to just cower in the dark because bad stuff is coming. We can make choices about what we stand up for and how we conduct our lives. We were specifically chosen to be upon the earth at this time to face down these very events. So no matter what tempests may be coming, there is a clear path that will protect us from the chaos in all the ways that really matter. The bottom line for me from this book can be found in Section 38, Verse 30 of the Doctrine and Covenants: “If ye are prepared ye shall not fear..”

Several other bloggers have also written reviews of this book. If you would like to read more about what others have to say on this work you can find the links to their reviews by clicking HERE.

Many thanks to Tristi Pinkston over at Valor Publishing for giving me the privlege of this sneak preview read and an opportunity to review this book. It is scheduled to be released April 1. You can pre-order it now at a discounted price by going HERE.

It is unsettling book, to be sure, but I think a very worth while read.

Unemployment is like Pregnancy because...

No I am NOT pregnant! (Although my shape may suggest otherwise.) For heaven's sake at 52 yrs old at least that is one thing I do NOT have to worry about. The photo is of my beautiful niece Jodi who has since given birth to an absolutely ravishing little girl. But I posted the picture to make a point.

When I was pregnant over 30 yrs ago one of my biggest sources of frustration was that as soon as my tummy started poking out it seemed to make people believe I'd utterly lost my brains. No one ever asked me what sort of books I had read recently or inquired about my opinion on current events. They stopped discussing plays or astronomy or the state of the nation. It seemed that the only kinds of conversation people had with me during those months focused on "how are you feeling?" and "when is your baby due?" Women wanted to touch my belly and/or regale me with stories of their own childbirth experiences. Men got either condescending or uncomfortable. Either way, it was like I was no longer the smart, interesting person I had been before with a multitude of interests. During that time of gestation I socially became a pod person, a vessel for making a new life. Nothing else. Or at least that was how it seemed at the time. I used to get down right cranky about it.

What does that have to do with now? It seems that lately nearly every person I know keeps asking me "How's the job search going?" TRUST ME on this, if I get a job I'll be shouting so loudly it will shake the earth. You will know. But I just can't handle the constant scrutiny about the process. After having applied for 120 different jobs across six states, having had over a dozen serious interviews and all too many very near misses I've had my hopes up and had them dashed too many times to count.

Sometimes I'm very zen about the whole process and truly believe that the universe is unfolding around me exactly as it is meant to. There are days when I feel all the way to my bones that God has a plan for me through all this that I just can't see.

Other times I sink down into a serious funk, feeling very discouraged, disappointed, and concerned about my continued lack of getting a job. I worry. I fret. I wonder what is going to become of my poor pathetic professional career. Especially since I seem to be doing all the right things that professionals tell job seekers they should do and still not getting results it gets frustrating.

But honestly, we are fine. Fortunately for us, my sweet husband has a good job with full benefits. We are essentially out of debt. We have savings in the bank. We've certainly had to cut way back on our discretionary spending since I'm no longer bringing in the big bucks I was when I was working. But we have never once had to go without a single thing we really needed. We do not have to fear the wolf at the door (yet). So I can truly say we have been incredibly fortunate during these many months of uncertainty. Far too many good, honest, hard working people have lost homes, lost confidence, lost so very much through no fault of their own as a result of the shifting economy. I'm very blessed to not be in that boat.

I continue to apply for jobs. I continue to go meet with "experts" and "specialists" who are helping me to refine my approach. I'm still seeking a professional position and not even close to needing to settle for any old survival job. Because we are ok.

Don't get me wrong, I DO appreciate the supportive concern. It's just that when I'm trying to minimize my stress over this prolonged job search by focusing on the OTHER areas of my life that truly are running along smoothly (or at things that I have some power to do something about) to have people keep asking me about the job search just takes me back to the one area in my life where I'm feeling pretty powerless, and that's not fun.

One of the great things about having been poor in the past is I absolutely have the skill sets for living on a very slim budget. I know how to make do. And because we have no major life expenses right now we really can manage living on my husband's income and the meager pittance I earn from teaching a couple online classes.

Still - I do want a job. We work for many reasons besides a pay check. When I reflect back over the track record of all the different jobs I have had over the years it's very evident that I took positions that I could believe made a positive difference. Rather than try to get rich or work my way to the top where I could be all important I tried to DO important things. Being executive director of two different non profits was far less about the fancy title and far more about believing in the missions of those organizations. So that is a part I really miss.

Besides, eventually my husband will retire and then it will be up to me to take on the role of primary bread winner. So hopefully sometime in the not too distant future, I'll find a suitable position in a place we will both feel good about. Clearly the search is on with all the determination I can muster. But until I do land that elusive job that surely is out there somewhere in the universe waiting for me to find it, please give it a rest from asking me what I've applied for lately or how my last interview went. Having to fess up to the growing pile of rejection letters just feels too demoralizing.

The last near miss job that I interviewed for required me to put together a professional portfolio showcasing some of my past accomplishments. I got beat out of the job by someone with more experience, but that process was really good for me. Now when I get discouraged about the search I can flip through the pages of that binder and see solid proof of my talent and skills and be reminded of what I do have to offer. It's a whole lot better that perusing the mountain of "we don't want you" letters.

So if you want a conversation with me, let's talk about the plans for my garden. Let's talk about the high school producton of Les Miserables that I went to see. Let's discuss educational issues. Or we can talk about something that is interesting to you. I'm a pretty good listener. But if you ask me again "How's the job search going?" I'm likely to get a bit prickly. It is a sensitive subject for me right now. So can we just skip it for a while?

There is one BIG exception to all this. If you know of any job leads I could follow up on or even just think of someone who it might be helpful for me to talk to I would very much appreciate the referral. I suspect that networking with others who may have key contacts will be far more useful to my search than constantly reviewing ads. So if you have an idea of something I could follow up on, by all means PLEASE do make the suggestion. It will be most welcome.

Otherwise, if you are simply showing supportive interest or are curious, could we please talk about something else?

QUESTIONS

A couple years ago I wrote a posting about the Empty Nesters Family Home Evening that my husband and I participate in. I mentioned the Questions that I use for helping people write their personal histories.

I just got an email from someone who read that post and was requesting the full set of questions to use for a lesson in her ward. I happily emailed them as an attachment. But I figured what the heck, I might as well post the whole set here in case any one else may want them.

As I told the person making the request, there are several ways to use these questions:

1. I gave the whole set to my father in law. He would write out the answers to 1 or 2 every Sunday afternoon after church as a Sabbath activity. I then typed them all up and now have 32 pages of amazing stories of his life.

2. You can COPY each page on a different brightly colored paper. Then cut the questions into strips with one question on each strip. (You can curl them if you want to get fancy, or just fold them into squares) Put the bright colored strips in a clear jar. Use them at gatherings of family or friends by passing around the jar and having each person pull one out to answer verbally.

3. To write your own personal history, set up a 3 ring loose leaf notebook with 1 page for each of the different questions. When writing your own life story sometimes telling one story gets you thinking about another, but if you keep tangenting in your narrative the history gets confusing. By having them on separate pages you can flip back and forth to write as much or as little about each question. You can always go back to elaborate or edit if you choose. Then you can later shuffle them into whatever order you want (by topic, by time period, etc)

So with that being said - here are the questions. Enjoy! (I still have not written these all out for ME...I guess I better get busy, eh?)



SET 1:

CHILDHOOD

Describe the house you grew up in.
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Describe your yard as a child.
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What toys did you play with as a child?
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What games did you play as a child?
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Were you responsible for household chores? What were they? What did
you like most or least?
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How much was your first allowance? Was it conditional, when did it
start?
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Tell about any pets you had as a child.
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Tell about your neighbors as a child.
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Tell about school ( special teachers, friends, achievements,
activities, or humorous situations).
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Describe a sound from your childhood.
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As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?
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What do you remember about stores when you were a child? Can you
recall shopping with mother?
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Describe the downtown of your childhood.
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Did you take any special lessons a child?
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Do you recall any special summer trips or vacations when you were
growing up?
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What were you afraid of as a child?
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What did you do as a child that got you in the most trouble with your
parents? What did they do?
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Did you ever steal as a child? If so, were you caught? What
happened?
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What is a special smell you remember from your childhood?
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What do you remember about Easter as a child?
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Tell about a fourth of July from your childhood.
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Tell about Halloween as a child.
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Tell about Thanksgivings when you were growing up.
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What do you remember about Christmas as a child?
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Describe getting a Christmas tree as a child.
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YOUTH

What do you remember about yourself as a teenager. What was important
to you?
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Describe a typical school day during your junior high years.
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Describe your favorite dress or a special outfit you wore as a youth.
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Tell about any exciting experiences in scouting or any clubs you were
a member of as a youth.
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Tell about how, when and where you learned to drive.
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Tell about your first crush. What was he or she like?
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Describe the fashions that were popular when you were a youth. What
is popular now?
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If you went to college, describe the experience. If not, tell what
you were doing in your 20's.
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COURTSHIP AND MARRIAGE

Tell about your courtship
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How did you become engaged?
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Tell about your wedding. Where was it? Who was there? Was there a
reception?
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Describe your wedding dress (or wife’s wedding dress).
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What were your fears, expectations, anticipations, etc. about getting
married?
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What convinced you most in your choice of a spouse?
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How did you meet your in-laws? Describe your relationship with them.
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Describe your first home or apartment on your own or when newly married.
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Write a want ad that describes your husband or wife.
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FAMILY

Tell about your Mother. (Describe physically, her personality,
talents, role in your home)
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Describe your father. What was he like physically? What work did he
do? Personality?
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Tell about your parent’s philosophy of raising children, discipline,
rules, etc.
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In what ways are you like your parents and in what ways are you
different?
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Tell about your brothers and sisters.
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Describe your grandparents.
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Describe a night at Grandma’s house.
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Tell about a favorite relative.
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Tell about any ancestors you have heard special stories of.
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Tell about property your family owned.
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Tell about anything you may have inherited from a family member.
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Tell about the birth(s) of your child(ren).
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Tell about each of your children’s names and how they were chosen.
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Describe your relationship(s) with your child(ren).
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Tell about a humorous or clever thing one of your children said.
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Tell about a family crisis and how it was resolved.
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Tell about family feuds and how they were or were not resolved.
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Tell about your feelings toward your grandchildren.
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RELIGION

Tell about religious practices in your home when you were growing up.
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How do you feel about religion now?
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Describe your beliefs about God.
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What is one of your favorite scriptures, and why?
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Tell about influential spiritual/religious leaders you may have met or how a
particular church teacher influenced you.
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If you could meet any spiritual leader (living or dead) who would it be
and why?
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Describe your conversion to the gospel.
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Tell about an experience when you shared the gospel with another
person.
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Tell about an experience when you stood up for what you believed was
right.
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Describe your Sabbath days
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Tell about the first time you went to the temple.
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Tell about a faith promoting experience from your life.
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Record your testimony.
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LIFE EXPERIENCES

Describe your first paying job. What was your salary?
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Tell about the places you have worked.
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Tell your feelings about the work you have done. If you were to start
all over, what work would you choose?
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Describe any sports you have played.
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Were you ever in a theatrical production? Tell about it.
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Do you speak a foreign language? If so, how did you learn? If not
would you like to? Why?
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Have you ever won a contest or a special prize?
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Were you ever in the military? If so, when and where did you serve?
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Describe the influence of wars on your life.
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Where were you on an important day in history?
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Tell about a special trip taken as an adult.
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Tell about some of the changes you’ve seen during your life (technology,
fashion, politics, etc.)
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Tell about tools you have used.
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Describe an invention which impressed you during your life.
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Have you ever tried anything really dangerous? How did it feel?
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Tell about a dramatic experience involving weather.
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Have you ever had a serious injury? Describe how it happened and tell
of your recovery.
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Tell about some special challenge which you were able to overcome.
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Tell about a camping trip you went on.
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Tell about any hobbies or collections you have or have had.
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Tell about a trip to the dentist.
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Tell about the medical care you had while growing up - How does this
compare to today?
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Tell about your first car. What type of car do you have now? What
kind of car would you like?
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Describe a parade you were in or one you saw.
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Tell about animals you raised.
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Tell about a garden you have had.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Describe the typical groceries you buy today and tell what they cost.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Describe how travel has changed during your life.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you celebrate Christmas now? Do you have any special
traditions that are meaningful? If so, why?
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Describe how you celebrate other holidays now.
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What was your most embarrassing moment?
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Tell about a favorite fishing experience .
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Tell about a city you have visited.
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Tell about the coldest winter you can remember.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Tell about any natural disaster you may have experienced,
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Tell about a significant loss you experienced.
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Tell about a funeral you attended.
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Describe a turning point in your life.
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Tell about a special gift which you received.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Describe a dream you have had.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Tell about a gift which you gave someone else that you have special
feelings about.
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Tell about the strangest food you ever ate.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Describe the house where you live now.
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Describe your yard where you live now
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Describe your life today.
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Describe yourself physically.
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Do you have a special talent or skill?
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PERSONAL PHILOSOPHY

How do you feel about politics?
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What kind of music do you like now? Do you recall any special type
of music from childhood?
----------------------------------------------------------------------
What do you think about television? Do you have any favorite shows?
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How do you feel about winning? How do you feel about losing?
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What do you think brings good or bad luck?
----------------------------------------------------------------------
What personality trait do you admire most, and why?
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Tell about your philosophy for handling money.
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What is your greatest joy? Your greatest sorrow?
----------------------------------------------------------------------
What was the best advice you ever got? Did you follow it?
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What is the biggest lesson in life you have found to be true?
----------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you feel about reading? What did you read as a child? What do you read
now?
----------------------------------------------------------------------
What would you like to be doing five years from now? Ten years from
now?
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Describe your attitudes towards death.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
If you could meet any movie star you wanted, who would it be and why?
----------------------------------------------------------------------
If you could meet any political leader you wanted, who would it be and
why?
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What goals do you have at this point in your life?
----------------------------------------------------------------------
What are your most precious and deeply imbedded values?
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Tell about your views on growing older.
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How has the women’s movement affected your life?
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How has the civil rights movement affected your life?
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Tell the influence that music, theater, dance, art or literature has
had on your life.
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What are you afraid of?
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Tell about how you deal with anger.
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What are your food preferences? What do you like and dislike?
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Describe your favorite dessert.
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What flowers do you like?
----------------------------------------------------------------------
What one possession you own is dearest to you?
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If you were stuck on an island with just 5 books, what would you want
them to be? Why?
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Describe your favorite season.
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Describe a favorite summer day
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Describe a favorite autumn day.
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Describe someplace in nature that is special to you.
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If you could travel any place that you wanted to, where would it be
and why?
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If you had a time machine that would allow you to go to any time you
chose, when would it be? Why?
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Do you consider yourself more of an introvert or an extrovert?
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What is your idea of a dream vacation?
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Are you more of a leader or a follower?
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Are you generally on time for things or often late? How do you feel
about this?
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Would you like to be famous? Why or why not? If yes, in what way?
----------------------------------------------------------------------
What would you like to be remembered for?
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SET 2:

What was your favorite pastime as a child? Did you prefer doing it alone or with someone else?

Who gave you your name and why? Did you have a nickname? How did you get it?

Describe your childhood bedroom. What was the view from your window?

Were you baptized, christened or blessed as an infant? If so, where and by whom?

When did you first go to church? What are your earliest memories of church?

Where did your father work and what did he do?

How did your mother spend her day? Did she have a job or do volunteer work outside the home?

Describe what the family living room looked like when you were a child.

What kind of prayer did you say before you went to sleep? Who taught you to pray?

Where was your childhood home located? Did you enjoy living there?

Describe your grandparents’ houses. Did you visit them often? Why or why not?

List one special memory about each of your brothers and sisters.

Recall for me some of the most important lessons you have learned in life.

Share a memory of your grandparents or an older person you loved.

Who was the first person to talk to you about God? What effect did this have on you?

How far did you have to travel to attend elementary, junior high and high school and how did you get there?

What scent or sound immediately takes you back to childhood? Describe the feeling it evokes.

What was your favorite meal as a child? What made it your favorite?

Did you have pets? Was there a favorite?

What chores did you have to do when you were growing up? Did you get an allowance?

Tell about your first job.

Share a story about a severe winter storm.

Share your favorite dessert recipe.

Did the pastor or missionaries visit your home? What impression did that have on you?

Did you ever feel that God had a special calling for your life?

Who was your favorite teacher? Why?

Describe one of your favorite dress-up outfits as a child. On what occasions would you wear it?

Did you ever have a special hide away for playhouse? What made it special?

What extracurricular activities were you involved in during high school? Why did you choose those?

What was the hardest thing you ever had to do?

What crazy fads to you remember in grade school?

When did you have your first date? Who was it with? What did you do?

What do you remember about your first kiss?

What did you do to celebrate birthdays when you were growing up?

Record here some gardening or decorating tips that you have found helpful.

What were some of the most memorable books you read as a child? What made them memorable?

What were your family finances like as a child? How did that effect you?

What mischief did you get into as a child?